Sensitive - Do people believe that male rape is worse than if a woman is raped?

Yes i meant to add that in my original reply. Not only is it grim its also in bad taste and goady.

Yeah this really.
One isn't 'worse' than the other.

Well if rape is worse if you can get pregnant then logically it must be less if you can't get pregnant. You seem to think the aftermath of pregnancy is the worst aftermath, I disagree I'm pretty sure you'd be offered the morning after pill for a start and I think the aftermath for a child who isn't fertile would be horrific.

Women do also get anally raped. It’s no easier for them than it is for a man.

What? I didn’t say any such thing or even close to it. Stop projecting.

Actually I’m not so sure about the sentencing difference I mention. Sorry, too late to edit.

It used to be the case under English law that male anal rape was considered a more serious crime than anal rape of a woman. The maximum sentence was life for raping a man (same as vaginal rape of a woman) and 10 years for raping a woman.

And there used to be more stigma attached to male victims that seemed strongly related to homophobia. The way women are disbelieved and the report being attributed to regret was similar for men with police frequently using homophobic slurs against male victims. So they were disbelieved and also marked as gay. With anal sex being a crime that disbelief opened them up to prosecution too.

The law changed in the 90s(?) and attitudes to homosexuality have changed significantly too. But I can see why, on average, it might have been even harder for men to report or process rape than for women to. Not because the violation of the rape was worse but because society was even harsher to male rape victims than female.

When it comes to a portrayal of rape on TV that is done in a way that it leaves little room for rape myths to discount the lack of consent, I suspect there are a lot of men, and possibly some women who still harbour the idea that sex is something that men do to women and so also see in the rape of a man the taking of his masculinity. In that way they might see it as “worse”, possibly while still not feeling empathy for him or seeing that their attitudes are what construct the loss of masculinity narrative.

I don't agree with that, if that was the case then there would never be a case of women and children first.

I think men will see male rape as worse than female rape. My DH and I listen to true crime often and he is always horrified by the crimes involving male victims of sexual assault and murder, whereas he isn’t as bothered by crimes with female victims.

Not many victims who were raped survived the 7 Oct terror attack in Israel. But there are some accounts of men being gang-raped. It wasn’t because the rapists were gay, it was about power and humiliation. I think it’s interesting that very few people know there were male victims too. It certainly plays to this conversation regarding perceptions of male rape.

I’m so sorry to read the accounts in this thread of people and/or their relatives who were raped. I hope everyone is in a better place now.

i guess you are referring to a police inquiry and we are all well aware of the deep rooted misogyny within the police

this is only part of the process if the case makes it to court, there is then judges numerous have made sexist comments about woman leading on men and even children doing so, prosecutors who will use every opportunity to raise questions about the women’s actions and reputation as this is so deeply embedded into our society that men can’t help themselves if they are lead on and then there is the jury and how many are easily swayed because they themselves have misogynistic views

and the press if it becomes public certain areas of the press often treat women victims of sexual violence with respect and dignity

If you ever watch the rape scene from Scum late 70s borstal film it's far from comedy.

I’m not disagreeing with you, but female rape isn’t something that happens to the vast majority of us and we learn to live with it, like our menstrual cycles. If you are raped for the first (and any!) time as a woman it would be just as harrowing, terrifying, traumatising and painful as it would be for a man. It’s almost as if the media lens has collectively thrown its hands up and said - that’s just an unfortunate part of female life and something we’ve just had to get used to. How utterly depressing, yet unsurprising.

100% this. It's impressive how many people feed into it

Not really, no. Prison rape is a source of comedy and ridicule. Male rape within intimate gay relationships is all but ignored by society.

There are still a lot of people who wouldn’t consider a woman to have been raped. They believe women owe men sex and men are entitled to take it by any means necessary. Yes I have heard the opinion that it’s worse if it happens to a man, but that’s misogynistic bullshit. It’s bad whoever it happens to.

They do. Very unreasonable of them.

Her post doesn't come across like that to me.

So do you think raping a child or a woman past menopause is less because they can't get pregnant? I'm horrified.

I was raped as a teenager. I've also had consensual anal sex. I feel like I can offer an opinion on this.

Physically, It hurt when I was being raped. It happened too quick, I wasn't relaxed so me being tense made it feel rougher. My body felt like it was trying to reject him and stiffened up. I wasn't wet as I wasn't turned on so the friction was bad. I won't go into the mental side as I don't want to open that mental door anymore.

The anal sex, with plenty of lube, with a loving partner, taking it very slowly and carefully, was still very uncomfortable for a while. I can't imagine what pain a man would endure being raped. I suppose a vagina is built for sex, an anus isn't. To have a penis forced in to the tight hole, to feel like something is in there that really shouldn't be in there, the absolute intrusion of it... Then there's the man's mentality, the manly bravado/ego/pride, to be forced into that vulnerable position, then all the 'gay' aspects of it for a straight man...

If I were ever to go through rape again, I'd never, ever, ever want it forced into my bum. Vaginally was bad enough. Rape is traumatic in many different contexts, but the pain wasn't as bad as the controlled anal sex was.

Please, I know it's a forum where anyone can reply to anyone but I feel the tight chest and shaking coming on just writing this. I don't want to be quoted or tagged if anyone feels the need. I don't want an argument or any further acknowledgement. Just wanted to offer my personal perspective having been through it. I had no support from family or the police and I really, really should have. But as a teenager, I thought I knew best that I'd be able to move on from it after making the report, so I can't speak on the differences how the police treat men and women victims.

Well rape is rape

It's about power and control.

I guess anal rape perhaps causes more damage in a man or women

As there is to men, they have to hand over their phones and are scrutinised in exactly the same way.

Why?

Yes I do believe many people believe men being raped is worse and more humiliating

Men victims are not questioned in the same way as women’s victims are as there is nearly always a question to womens behaviour

My ex thought it was. One of the (many) reasons why he’s an ex

Rubbish. It’s the same for boys. Boys are also groomed, sexually abused and raped. They are granted no more personhood than girls. I don’t think there is the same sympathy afterwards for boys as there is for girls. There is less support too.