Sensitive - Do people believe that male rape is worse than if a woman is raped?

Both absolutely hideous.

I think it may come as more of a shock to a male victim, by adulthood most women are all too aware of the risk of being assaulted or raped. Many have been, or been grabbed or propositioned or had a rough, scary or unpleasant sexual encounter with a man that has made them consider the possibility.

Most men are lucky enough to have got to adulthood without ever having felt that kind of vulnerability around men and so when it happens, while it's equally awful, the difference between life 'before' and 'after' might be even greater for a man.

I think a lot of people do, yes. For the reason that most heterosexual men have never had a penis in their anus. Whereas a majority of adult women have had a penis in their vagina. (This does not represent my own view.)

Sorry, what the fuck is this shit.

Why the fuck are you putting rape on a sliding scale? I didn't get pregnant from my rape but I was strangled and beaten and sustained damage that means I can't carry a child. Should I actually get over it because at least I didn't get pregnant? Is that it?
Is raping a child who has not yet gone through puberty bad but wow, thank god she couldn't have got pregnant, would've been SO much worse if she could've!

And elderly women who have gone through menopause? that's not so bad either? And infertile woman? Or are we only concerned about women who are fertile and of child bearing age? And everyone else, including men are just on the "Who cares pile at the bottom"

Fucking hell. I hope your DS has a better role model in his life

I think that men do. I think most women would think any and all rape is horrific and see it all as equally hideous.

But I can see blokes thinking in terms of ‘orifice designed for penis’ (I know, but that’s how some of them will think) and ‘orifice not designed for penis’ and then adding on the humiliation of it being a male-on-male act. I’d certainly say society paints m-m rape as worse. Perhaps unless the victim was gay… and then I can see them being treated similarly to female victims.

I think that OP was saying the male rape may be perceived as worse, not that it is worse.

The physical pain or anal rape does not bear thinking about...whether man or woman......aside from that I think men carry more of a stigma aside from the rape. It still isn't something that's really talked about and very rarely represented in the media. The only programme.I can think of who have covered it is Hollyoaks with the latest episode and another one well over 20 years ago. I actually think it happens a a lot more than we'll ever know, it just isn't being reported.

Oh my actual God re what that man said. What a disgusting thing to say.

New to our small service this month: we have 6 women and 1 man, none of who reported their rape/sexual abuse to anyone. All of whom feared to access medical help for fear of being forced to disclose details. This is not unusual. With each new client all of our initial time and money is spent supporting our clients to get the medical help they need immediately!

I think some men may view a man being raped as worse. I had a man say to me “at least” when a woman is raped most of the time she is straight and it’s a man. Whereas a man being raped may not be gay. That was about 20 years ago and I still remember that stupid comment.

It’s like when some men insult women by saying they are “too ugly to rape”. Respond “cool - sounds good to me” and watch them look confused.

Also depictions of women being raped are very normal.

We try to offer everyone what they need. Some men do prefer women as counsellors. But we also have to protect those women from, to be utterly crude, becoming wank fodder for some seriously damaged men. We learned that lesson the hard way and we won't be doing that again!

So we have an all male committee/admin team to run the male centre who liaised with us re staffing, policies, procedures etc. Which is how we ended up with a 3rd service that is mixed sex (and also has a transgender specific route which was forced upon us by our long standing trans overseer - single man who makes it his business to report us to every man and his dog, repeatedly)

We are a tiny service. This sounds complex but in reality is 2 distinct services with small single sex refuges and a separate group, no refuge space, for anyone who doesn't want to access the single sex provision - staffed by the some of the same people that work in the single sex spaces. We are forever changing our policies as needs in our area change.

This is why, in our 40 years of existence, we have only had a men's service of about 8 years. We are a women's service. Run by women for women based in our own experiences. Supporting some kind of male service was forced upon us when funding criteria changed about 9 years ago. There was no male service within about 40 miles so we set up a small service and promised to run it, pay for it, keep it going in order to maintain our own funding

If you have any thoughts on how we should do it I am all ears.

There's no guarantee that a female rape victim will be cared for by a woman. In Scotland, the government didn't even want to give female rape victims the right to ask for a female medical examiner when reporting a rape (having just been raped, with the medical examiner needing to collect semen etc for evidence). After a big battle in the Scottish Parliament, it was grudgingly agreed that she could ask (but there's absolutely no guarantee that she will get a female and not a male).

You’re not wrong, OP.
I’ve recently noticed that an increasing number of film clips on my Fb reels are normalising violence against women as an inevitable part of the story being told, and have started blocking this content.
Violence between men, however, is normally portrayed as “noble” combat situations, so against this normalised backdrop, I can see how some may be more desensitised to male on female rape, and more shocked by the male on male equivalent.
And that sucks…

Both are bad. End of

Your pitting us against each other
Rape is rape .it's about violence and control .it's about one person having power over another .
Why are people answering this ,saying either one is worse ..
They are not worse ,neither is worse ,they are both a human having a vile act committed against them ,both rape of either sex is abborant and needs support and counselling to get through

And in addition to the stigma of male rape and lack of suppprt there is an ever lasting lack of understanding men have to deal with when accessing therapy and health care. My son will never be able to tolerate intimate care or examination by men, he’ll never be able to tolerate therapy from men or sleep in the same room with men he doesn’t know.To him it feels like being raped all over again. Many/ most women who have been raped will feel exactly the same. For women there is understanding and accommodation. For men you’re scrutinised, you have to explain why over and again, you’re looked at as being weird or a possible threat to women which is horrific for those handling childhood abuse and highly invasive. Often these traumas aren’t even accommodated so just think what it would be like for a raped woman to have to tolerate sharing her worse experience in therapy or intimate care / medical appointments with men on top of all the stigma, trauma and zero support.

The thread title makes it crystal clear what it was going to be about.

I think it’s far less expected so more shocking. Girls / women have always been warned to be careful or walked home. No one worried about males for years.

Then you shouldn’t post such ignorant and completely incorrect and offensive comments. It perpetuates the huge injustices, stigma and lack of access to support that men and boys face after being raped.

And I completely disagree and think it’s the other way round. Disgust towards men is worse with added stigma on top and even less access to support.

This whole thread of pitching one against the other is hugely offensive with ignorant posters using it to further their own views.

I think if nothing else this thread shows there’s a long way to go all round, for men and boys and also for women and girls, both in the way rape is handled both legally and socially, and in the way children are being brought up to look at rape and violence. My logical brain knows no kind of rape is any more acceptable than another but the fact most of us seem to be more surprised and shocked by male rape than female for whatever reasons just shows how inured we have become to sexual violence towards women. How awful.

The information on unreported rape is from a crime survey, which of course relies upon the right mix of demographic and upon honest answers. Apparently 80% of men who have experienced rape do not report it. Slightly more, just over 83% of women who have been raped do not report.

No.

Yes. I agree re women and girls but I think there is such a long way to go for men and boys still.

Undoubtedly there are. But there will also be many women and girls who don't report. The data trends will be reinforced by anonymous surveys and the like too.

Thing is they are presumably stats from reported rapes. I think there are probably many men/ boys that do not report. For lots of reasons.