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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How much do you drink? Honestly!

556 replies

Starlight1984 · 23/10/2025 10:31

And yes, yes I know there is an "alcohol support" section of MN but this isn't for help or advice or anything other than curiosity!

Just been reading on another thread about what people do and don't do which others would find unusual and a LOT of the posts include people saying they don't drink alcohol which I find insane as pretty much everyone I know drinks to some degree!

Anyway I'll start, I don't (or try not to!) drink from Mon - Thurs but on average will have a bottle of wine on Friday, Saturday and Sunday evenings. So 3 x bottles of wine a week. I know it's above the guidelines of "normal" drinking and know I need to cut down but it's something I genuinely enjoy. DH is the same. We never get drunk. We just slowly drink 3-4 glasses over the course of the evening (from about 6pm to 11ish) whilst making dinner, sitting down to eat, watching a film / reading a book... It's just something that helps us to unwind after a busy week!

So for AIBU

YABU - No thanks, would rather have a cup of tea.
YANBU - Pour me a large one!

OP posts:
Oreosareawful · 23/10/2025 11:30

I usually buy a bottle of wine a week and thats my lot. With the COL I can't afford more lol.
Last weekend we had a family poker night and I drank for too much- 3x cocktails a glass of wine and a baileys and I struggled not to be sick. I simply can't take it any more.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 23/10/2025 11:29

I very rarely drank at home. Perhaps on a Friday or Saturday, but not during the week. I would have a drink if I went out, but never more than 3-4 drinks. Over the last 18 months, I had some health issues so stopped drinking. I haven’t missed it. Once I’m fully recovered I’m sure I’ll drink again but it’s been interesting to see how much I really don’t think about it.

Firstshoes · 23/10/2025 11:29

Starlight1984 · 23/10/2025 10:31

And yes, yes I know there is an "alcohol support" section of MN but this isn't for help or advice or anything other than curiosity!

Just been reading on another thread about what people do and don't do which others would find unusual and a LOT of the posts include people saying they don't drink alcohol which I find insane as pretty much everyone I know drinks to some degree!

Anyway I'll start, I don't (or try not to!) drink from Mon - Thurs but on average will have a bottle of wine on Friday, Saturday and Sunday evenings. So 3 x bottles of wine a week. I know it's above the guidelines of "normal" drinking and know I need to cut down but it's something I genuinely enjoy. DH is the same. We never get drunk. We just slowly drink 3-4 glasses over the course of the evening (from about 6pm to 11ish) whilst making dinner, sitting down to eat, watching a film / reading a book... It's just something that helps us to unwind after a busy week!

So for AIBU

YABU - No thanks, would rather have a cup of tea.
YANBU - Pour me a large one!

I'm pretty much exactly the same as you!

ConstitutionHill · 23/10/2025 11:29

@crackofdoomIm menopausal, 56. Since menopause I don't get hangovers. Not that I'm ever really drunk. Occasionally when I'm at my wealthy, fine wine loving friends for dinner and do over indulgence, I feel fine the next day.

TreeDudette · 23/10/2025 11:29

My DP is tea-total following a horrible relationship breakup with an alcoholic ex 10years ago. I use wine in cooking but the only alcoholic drink I really enjoy is a cocktail and I don’t make them at home (can’t be bothered). If we go out for dinner and there are cocktails and I’m not driving then I’ll order one or maybe two. I think I’ve averaged 1 cocktail per month this year. On holiday in the summer I drank one small bottle of beer (or most of one). Other than that I don’t drink, not out of virtue - I’m just not bothered!

mamagogo1 · 23/10/2025 11:28

Rarely mon- Thursday unless out somewhere, then only a half an ale or cider, Fridays we often have a g&t to start then share a bottle if we are at home. Saturdays we go to the pub usually so 3 pints perhaps and Sundays vary between nothing, nipping to the pub for one or 2 or sharing wine

longtompot · 23/10/2025 11:28

I was drinking the same as you @Starlight1984 Several bottles Friday to Sunday, sometimes Thursday to Sunday, between us, plus g&ts, dh would have a few cans of cider.

Now it's no alcohol Sunday to Friday, maybe a glass with dinner Friday, I share a bottle with my dh Saturday night, maybe a nightcap before bed. Sunday we used to have wine with our roast but have switched to zero or very low alcohol sparkling wine which still feels special without the guilt.
I buy zero alcohol gin, Tanqueray, which tastes like the real thing and now lasts me for far longer than the alcoholic version. I guess now not having the alcohol making me want more and more has helped me cut down.

We have done this because of our ages (early 50s) and dh has had a bit of a wake up call with regards to his health, something had to change. The daily creep of drinking had crept up so much over the years, especially since covid as we would usually have a a drink every night, and it just didn't stop.
The other thing that has helped is my dh doing a fasting diet and not having calories after 8pm and before 2pm (I'm starting at 10am as it made me feel too awful waiting until 2pm) so we don't just sit there having drinks when watching tv in the evening. That's now just a treat for Saturday night.

Tryingmybest100 · 23/10/2025 11:27

Only about 2-3 times a year. I don't like wine or beer.

I much prefer a glass of squash to alcohol!

Starlight1984 · 23/10/2025 11:27

Couldthiswork · 23/10/2025 11:23

I think you will Invariably get more responses from people who don’t drink much on here. In real life I would say the most people I know
(myself included) drink similar levels to yourself.

Honestly I do understand why people don't want to admit it in real life (I always stick to the 10 units a week if my GP asks me 😬) but this is an anonymous forum!

OP posts:
Belladog1 · 23/10/2025 11:27

crackofdoom · 23/10/2025 11:26

Am I the only menopausal woman who ^isn't affected by reasonable amounts of alcohol?! Half a bottle of wine the night before doesn't affect my mental performance (it's uniformly awful nowadays, alcohol or no) or stop me going for a run.

I'm menopausal and I can drink with no ill effects.

BrainItch · 23/10/2025 11:27

Also I thought it would be obvious that 30 units a week for a female is double the recommended safe amount.

When I drank a lot I too used to seek out others who drank to normalise my alcohol intake when I knew deep down it wasn’t good for me. This is very common and I see it all the times on the threads.

hellotojason · 23/10/2025 11:26

Currently zero, I used to drink how much you did, then gradually reduced and since entering my mid 40s have found even a small amount makes me feel anxious/crap & the downsides are not worth the up. I did sober spring and just carried on, been about 8 months now, occasionally miss having a glass of wine with dinner and friends but honestly it really isn't that big a deal now, I've massively shifted the associations I had with weekends/events and a glass of wine being the way I relax and I never wake up wishing I'd drank the night before.

crackofdoom · 23/10/2025 11:26

Thepeopleversuswork · 23/10/2025 11:22

I drink very little nowadays: probably average two units a week (usually on a Saturday night) - I'm comfortably under the recommended drinking guidelines. If I go out during the week (maybe once or twice a month) I'll typically have one or two glasses of wine. If I'm at home I don't drink alcohol at all Sunday through Thursday. DP and I usually share a bottle on Saturday night.

Until I was in my early 40s I probably drank a bottle of wine every two days and could more or less tolerate it and most of my social circle drank about the same.

I'm now nearly post menopause and my body just can't process alcohol any more: even fairly small amounts of alcohol (more than about two units) make me feel sluggish and interfere with memory and intellectual functioning. I have a hectic job and a DD doing GCSEs and I just can't afford to not be functioning on four cylinders so its only worth it if I have nothing to do the following day (which is rare). I also run three times a week and I can't run if I've been drinking. Given the choice between exercise and booze, exercise wins.

I think its fairly common that people drink less as they get older.

Am I the only menopausal woman who ^isn't affected by reasonable amounts of alcohol?! Half a bottle of wine the night before doesn't affect my mental performance (it's uniformly awful nowadays, alcohol or no) or stop me going for a run.

redluckycat · 23/10/2025 11:25

Zero.

For no particular reason other than I tried it when younger, didn’t like the taste of it and it didn’t do anything positive for me either.

preparingforthepileon · 23/10/2025 11:25

ChessBess · 23/10/2025 11:20

So many on here weened themselves off drink or really cut down. It makes me wonder why some people stop drinking or at least cut down significantly, when they realise they’re damaging themselves (emotionally/physically or both) whereas other don’t and end up alcoholics.

I realise people will say it’s addiction etc… but if alcohol is considered addictive then why can some still stop.

There's lots of reasons why some people are able to cut down or stop and others find it harder or can't. Some of them might be related to the physical affect alcohol has had on their brain (the way we drink, has an impact on the neural pathways our brain creates) but some may be down to lifestyle related things -
How much does alcohol affect their life (hangovers / arguments / falling over / unable to perform well at work etc etc)
How much other people in their life drink
How happy they are with their life (ie are they drinking to mask pain or dissatisfaction).
To name but a few.

Irritatedandsad · 23/10/2025 11:25

ChessBess · 23/10/2025 11:20

So many on here weened themselves off drink or really cut down. It makes me wonder why some people stop drinking or at least cut down significantly, when they realise they’re damaging themselves (emotionally/physically or both) whereas other don’t and end up alcoholics.

I realise people will say it’s addiction etc… but if alcohol is considered addictive then why can some still stop.

Apparently we all have different susceptability to addiction due to chemical and wiring in our brains. Some people can do heroine once and never do it again and for some people that once is enough to create lifelong addiction.
Same as smoking and drinking, some people can never give up and others can give up easily or never even be addicted.
There is a part of the brain responsible for addiction and it must be wired differently for diffetent people. Unfortunately, you don't know which one you are until its too late. My nan always said she never tried drugs in the 60s as she thought she had an addictive personality and was afraid she would not be able to stop.

ConstitutionHill · 23/10/2025 11:25

30 units a week, wine. Edited to say that's 3 large glasses of decent red, 5 days a week. I try to have 2 booze free days.

BrainItch · 23/10/2025 11:23

It is a good point that you are just more likely to know more drinkers if you drink a fair bit.

I drink less partly as my partner doesn’t really like drinking so it was another encouragement and natural way to cut down

Your DH drinks as well so you are drinking frequently in company which makes it seem more socially acceptable to you.

Mine and my DP’s social circle and family circle do not really drink either so it’s not something we go out to do.

I did used to socialise with heavier drinkers and I would drink more back then as we all normalised it with each other.

Couldthiswork · 23/10/2025 11:23

I think you will Invariably get more responses from people who don’t drink much on here. In real life I would say the most people I know
(myself included) drink similar levels to yourself.

xxxwd · 23/10/2025 11:23

Late thirties and now only drink once a month. I don’t like how it makes me feel the next day and it’s not worth it.

Thepeopleversuswork · 23/10/2025 11:22

I drink very little nowadays: probably average two units a week (usually on a Saturday night) - I'm comfortably under the recommended drinking guidelines. If I go out during the week (maybe once or twice a month) I'll typically have one or two glasses of wine. If I'm at home I don't drink alcohol at all Sunday through Thursday. DP and I usually share a bottle on Saturday night.

Until I was in my early 40s I probably drank a bottle of wine every two days and could more or less tolerate it and most of my social circle drank about the same.

I'm now nearly post menopause and my body just can't process alcohol any more: even fairly small amounts of alcohol (more than about two units) make me feel sluggish and interfere with memory and intellectual functioning. I have a hectic job and a DD doing GCSEs and I just can't afford to not be functioning on four cylinders so its only worth it if I have nothing to do the following day (which is rare). I also run three times a week and I can't run if I've been drinking. Given the choice between exercise and booze, exercise wins.

I think its fairly common that people drink less as they get older.

Winteriscoming80 · 23/10/2025 11:20

Same as you op,don’t drink mon-thurs,I’ll have a bottle of wine Friday/Saturday,I drink on Sunday to diminish the Monday blues.

Zodiacrobat · 23/10/2025 11:20

preparingforthepileon · 23/10/2025 11:05

I think most of the drinking is done by a relatively small section of society. So it can be true that everyone you know drinks a fair bit (if you are a drinker then you are more likely to have friends who are drinkers, for obvious reasons) but also that most people don't think much.

I've just asked Chat GPT -

Around 20% of the adult population drinks almost 70% of all the alcohol sold in the UK.
The heaviest-drinking 4% of adults account for over 30% of all the alcohol consumed.
Conversely, around 30% of adults either don’t drink at all or drink very little, meaning the “average” per-capita figure can be misleading.

That’s very interesting. I definitely think most of my friends drinking levels dropped significantly in their 30’s when kids and responsibilities came along. And even more now in our 50’s with menopause!

The one who didn’t and kept up student levels of drinking became an alcoholic, lost his job and died of cancer recently in his early 50’s after a chaotic last few years. Very sad.

ChessBess · 23/10/2025 11:20

So many on here weened themselves off drink or really cut down. It makes me wonder why some people stop drinking or at least cut down significantly, when they realise they’re damaging themselves (emotionally/physically or both) whereas other don’t and end up alcoholics.

I realise people will say it’s addiction etc… but if alcohol is considered addictive then why can some still stop.

preparingforthepileon · 23/10/2025 11:19

Andthatrightsoon · 23/10/2025 11:16

Honestly. 0. I grew up with an alcoholic parent 🤷‍♂️

You are statistically much more likely to become an alcoholic if you have an alcoholic parent; you have done well to go the other way.

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