Alcohol is such a tricky one, because it’s loaded with judgement as well as whatever health issues or effects on mood. Likewise food, although obviously humans need to eat.
My alcohol intake has changed massively over the years, because it really does have an effect on the body and our behaviour that has to change with time, imo.
As a student I drank like a fish, every Wednesday after a sports club, every Friday and Saturday, to the point of being dangerously blackout drunk. Hangover cures were more drink.
In my 20s, it moved to just the weekends as I worked long hours Monday to Friday. Dh and I would spend the entire time drinking, socialising, probably drinking more than as students but over a longer time period and not getting stupid on it.
When pregnant and with young kids in my 30s, I stopped completely and it was fine. Drink was the last thing I wanted. By the time the kids were school age I guess I was drinking a couple of bottles a week, spread out.
During the lockdowns I was driving a lot less, not needing to be up early, drink became a habit and a pleasure when I was finding very little pleasure anywhere else. It crept up and up. A bottle every night was not unusual. I felt like hell and was taking painkillers daily for the hangovers. I knew it was too much. I doubt anyone else would have known though, because I didn’t see anyone.
As life got back to normal I knew it was too much, so I made silly rules for myself. No wine before nine! I never drank if I was driving, but I was working from home and didn’t need to very often. I would easily drink half a bottle of wine every night. I didn’t need it, but I wanted it. I enjoyed it, looked forward to it. I was fooling myself that it wasn’t as much alcohol as before. All my friends were doing the same! Except, I don’t think they were. But behind closed doors with the kids, who knows?
Now, almost 50, I have a medical condition that wasn’t caused by alcohol, but in my case is definitely made worse by it. So since January I’ve stopped drinking. I had a few drinks while away in the summer and felt like hell, so I’ve now stopped completely. The flares it causes me are so painful and go on for weeks, one night of drinking isn’t worth it. I suspect if it weren’t for that, I would still be having half a bottle every night and feeling rotten about it. I still miss it sometimes.
All those people were me. What is normal for today doesn’t have to be for tomorrow. Don’t feel guilty, bad or lesser. You are human. Alcohol is a thing, remove the judgement. It is addictive, it tastes great, it removes inhibitions and helps relaxation. Humans are tricky creatures! Every culture needs to get out of their heads, in whatever way they can. But if you start to feel unhappy, ill or anxious, you have a choice. It absolutely does not make you a bad person if you choose to drink.