To be hurt?

Oh honestly OP, reading your update, just tell him to fuck right off! What a load of bullshit 🙄 please don't waste another minute on this loser!

I'm both worried and frightened for you @JustAGuessingGame

Your bs radar seems to have fallen deep into the Mariana trench, please be careful.

So much drama for four months! Leave him, he's a knob.

He's scum, messing you about.
Stop accepting it.
Dump him.

Do the www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

Ugh, he sounds grim. The first year is the honeymoon period when someone shows you their best side! Please don't accept anymore of his bullshit and just end it with a "We want different things..." text - not a phone call or in person, it's only 4 months and he has a history of gaslighting and talking you round. Don't let yourself be swayed.

This currently feels like something to stress/ponder over because he's making it seem like you're being demanding, unreasonable, whatever and there's something to salvage. There isn't.

The reality is this: he is manipulating you and the only response is to stop seeing him and cut all contact. He's testing how much bollocks you'll put up with from him and currently you're putting up with everything he throws at you!

When you cut off contact you have to hold firm, because he'll probably change his manipulation tactics and try to ingratiate himself with you again. Block him, stick to it, and move on to better things. Your self esteem is already damaged and it will be absolutely obliterated if you waste any more time on someone as toxic as this.

I've only read the first paragraph, just say no, he's already a pain in the arse and will only get worse.

He's messimg with your head and causing ypu distress, you don't need this headache. Just hold your head high and end this farce.

In the new age of dating is different than old ways, it can be acceptable to date multiple people at the start. But only if it suits your values. But dating and sex are different.

my values in this was if I wanted to have a 3rd date with someone I came off dating sites and only dated that person as I can’t give effort to many people and felt it was disrespectful. It meant I was interested in seeing if something could develop. Certainly no sex would happen.

he is gaslighting you. He is dating and having sex with multiple people. He is trying to get you to conform to his way of dating. If you are comfortable with this that’s fine. But I assume you are not so please end it.

Dump and met a guy that matches your dating values. What I learned during my OLD journey is if it’s hard with a few months in, it’s not going to get better.

Omg! Imagine! If they all had to act like normal humans instead of like they are total gods that we should chase for crumbs! I also say ditch him. I don’t think you are likely to get any responses on here advising you to keep wasting time on this creature.

He’s the only manipulative one, giving you mixed signals, sounds like he enjoys the act of hurting people by telling you he’s slept with someone else, a very nasty character. What else can you, just completely ignore him.

Do you really think this man is capable of a healthy relationship?

Do you think you deserve more? I certainly think you do - I can't think who would deserve that sort of treatment.

If you end it with him (and properly end it, not just threaten to) then your life will be so much easier and happier.

You don't need men like this in your life.

You sound extremely vulnerable, OP. Stop seeing him, delete and block his number, and do the Freedom Programme.

Please leave him, you deserve so much better and this will only lead to heart ache and him destroying you.

What are you doing with this guy, OP? He is shouting loud and clear what a waste of time and space he is. The first hint of his unpleasant opinions should have been the moment you ended it. Get rid of him now, and spend some time thinking about what you want in a relationship in future.

Honestly with kindness you are far too desperate to be dating currently- if you weren’t there is no way you would put up with this shit. People treat you as badly as you allow - honestly when I was dating no one ever treated me remotely like this as they knew I wouldn’t put up with it. No guys get away with the most appalling behaviour as there is a vast number of women lining up to put up with any manner of shit all in the name of having a man , any man and to be “picked” Raise the bar and your self esteem and self worth before you even think about dating again. No man is better than this crap.

Wow. I think it's time to slow down with the dating in general and put some effort in on getting your selfesteem up to a decent level. He's scum that's for sure and the moment he started to show it was when you should have kicked him to the curb. Instead you let him come over and you slept with him besides not wanting to. This is crazy. I am NOT blaming you for what you did- I am telling you that you deserve respect. Until youvknow that don't date because the scumbags will stand in line to dump their shit on you.

"Lower your standards and count yourself lucky, girl!"

No, Prince Charming, I don't think so.

Remember who you are, @JustAGuessingGame . Don't waste your one wild and precious life on this disrespectful arse.

(With acknowledgements to the poet Mary Oliver)

YABU to keep seeing this bell-end. He is playing you to get a jealous reaction. He is enjoying your unhapiness. Dump, Block, Delete. You don't need this level of crap in your life. No need for emotionless showdowns and drama. "This is not working for me, good luck in finding the person for you." Block. Job done. Then you can enjoy your peace.

ETA: I was on the apps 3 years ago and am now happily living with DP who is lovely and was open, kind and respectful from the get-go. All this "all men are like this" shit is exactly that - shit. There are MANY better men out there that you aren't meeting because you are expending energy on this waste of space!

He says how women expect too much from men?

This is him saying “I’m going to treat you like shit and you have to put up with it because that’s how all men behave.”

OP, this is a terrible relationship and this man is a complete cunt.

It literally could not be any more obvious.

I can't believe you've put up with this shit for as long as four months, frankly. Dump him now, for god's sake.

Dump him, work on yourself and building your self respect/confidence/esteem and then you’ll never even entertain men like this.

I know this will sound critical OP, but it boggles me that anyone gets away with the sort of behaviour this guy is displaying. If someone tried that on with me I'd probably laugh in his face, it's so stupid and childish.

Please don't give this idiot another minute of thought. He is a dick who likes messing you about and you've fallen for it. There are plenty of people out there who are kind, straightforward and fun. Spend time with them instead.

Just stop immediately. He’s playing games and doesn’t want a serious relationship with you or probably with anyone. ‘Falling for you’ - so what.