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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boss keeps contacting me while on leave?

135 replies

wetlettuce41 · 23/10/2025 09:02

AIBU to want to be left alone to enjoy my leave?

Only on my second day of leave, and both days I have had missed calls from my boss at 8am…

Then he got a colleague to text me and ask for a call back.

Yesterday I did phone back, thinking it was urgent.

It really wasn’t. To do with my flexible working arrangement not having its yearly review back in June. This was supposed to be done by previous boss. I logged on yesterday as requested by new boss and sent through all the paperwork, forwarded the emails from June to show that I did send old boss the paperwork… I don’t know why it hasn’t been done. He said HR is on his back about it.

Not my problem is it?

I’ve done what was asked yesterday and this morning I’ve had another 8am phone call when I am trying to relax and text messages asking me to call back.

I work in the public sector. Never had this before. Boss is newly promoted.

OP posts:
EarthSight · 23/10/2025 15:37

Springersrock · 23/10/2025 13:45

My boss does this to me and it drives me nuts. It’s never anything important, she just thinks the world revolves around her.

I put the work group chat on mute (although she’s discovered she can @ me and it gets round the mute) and just ignore any work messages or phone calls. I just ignore them all, I don’t open the messages, don’t pick up the phone or anything

Mind you, I was in Thailand earlier this year and she fucking called me at midnight there - I did answer that one and tore her off a strip - she was apologetic, had forgotten the time difference but while I’m on could I just tell her where to find something. I said no and hung up. She actually hasn’t called me when I’m on leave since

Edited

while I’m on could I just tell her where to find something

People who work in Sales are often this type of CF. I work with one and keep her at a distance because as soon as I behave normally around her (like a friendly face), she starts taking the piss. In her case she doesn't learn.

I don't even have Teams on my phone and as soon as I leave work for the day, I shut down my laptop.

EarthSight · 23/10/2025 15:32

8am???

That's batshit, and in no way was that an emergency. He's acting incredibly unprofessionally. Twat.

Unless you work in some kind of medical capacity or it has to do with national infrastructure, NO situation is truly an emergency. None.

There has been at atmosphere since he came of the team feeling on edge. I’m worried if I push back it will make things worse at work for me

And he likely knows that and is already abusing his position.

If you do the professional route and ask him if you can talk about this when you get back, he will likely say no and push for results now.

In your situation I wouldn't be answering the phone at all to my workplace during my annual leave. He should be discussing things like your working arrangements with you during normal working hours, and the fact he isn't means that he doesn't like spending your work hours on things he finds trivial or waste of time......so he's trying to ensure he wastes your holiday doing it.

Be prepared for him to get angry though if you ignore everyone. If does, you must remain calm and breezy about it all, and send the situation to HR to review if he bullshits about it being an emergency, but don't expect any support. They're generally useless in situations like that and are paid to protect the company from its employees, not the employees from the company, including in the public sector. They often don't do anything about unreasonable or toxic managers, so I'm afraid this could be the beginning of the end in your job.

GelatoForMe · 23/10/2025 15:17

That's telling you what kind of boss you're going to come to.

8 am on holiday, I am fast asleep. Lord ...

Plus, spend some evenings looking online for possible new jobs

Nonameagain31 · 23/10/2025 15:11

Boundaries OP, i had a CF line manager who tried this and got very upset when i asked her not to call my personal phone for work reasons but she actually didn't do it again after i stonewalled her its just a quick question.

I would send an e-mail and tell him your calendar is up-to-date and can they make a meeting for when you are back from annual leave - then stick your phone on do not disturb until after ten just in case!

Notagain75 · 23/10/2025 15:08

wetlettuce41 · 23/10/2025 09:23

So yesterday I did phone back, as I saw a few missed calls then I had a text from my colleague. I assumed it was something urgent because of that.

Now that I know it’s not… to have more calls at just a few minutes past 8 this morning when I’m in bed has really annoyed me. I’m usually up early as I have a long commute so was looking forward to being able to have a lie in!

I feel in a difficult position as the new boss has been making a point of reviewing mine and other peoples reasonable adjustments (I have a disability), and has made comments that he is needing to check if “people are working in the right place”. There has been at atmosphere since he came of the team feeling on edge. I’m worried if I push back it will make things worse at work for me.

Are you in a Union?
If so log it with a Union rep and keep a record of your new boss's behaviour because I think it sounds like harassment.
If you are not in a Union I would join one. If you don't want to look up your employers grievance policy.

Notagain75 · 23/10/2025 15:02

Don't respond. If he complains tell him.you switched your phone off. Because you were away on holiday.
He is being very unreasonable

caringcarer · 23/10/2025 15:01

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 23/10/2025 09:04

“I’m on leave. I’ll respond when I’m back.”

Then stop responding. You’re enabling this shitty behaviour.

This

StokePotteries · 23/10/2025 14:58

Set automatic email reply and phone message saying you are on annual leave and will reply on return. Then let any messages from work go through to these.

ChristmasFluff · 23/10/2025 14:57

He is new into post, so he's throwing his weight around and seeing who he can guilt-trip into doing work above and beyond what is required. If you have no boundaries now, he will keep on busting them for the rest of the time he is there.

Block him, and if colleague keeps messaging work stuff, block them too. You can unblock when you are back at work.

You don't need to explain why. He knows exactly why already.

godmum56 · 23/10/2025 14:54

wetlettuce41 · 23/10/2025 09:23

So yesterday I did phone back, as I saw a few missed calls then I had a text from my colleague. I assumed it was something urgent because of that.

Now that I know it’s not… to have more calls at just a few minutes past 8 this morning when I’m in bed has really annoyed me. I’m usually up early as I have a long commute so was looking forward to being able to have a lie in!

I feel in a difficult position as the new boss has been making a point of reviewing mine and other peoples reasonable adjustments (I have a disability), and has made comments that he is needing to check if “people are working in the right place”. There has been at atmosphere since he came of the team feeling on edge. I’m worried if I push back it will make things worse at work for me.

instead of making things worse during your leave?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 23/10/2025 14:54

wetlettuce41 · 23/10/2025 11:07

I do have a work phone, but these calls and messages are to my personal phone. Only a couple of colleagues have my number and I have theirs. My boss has my personal number too. It’s pretty standard in my organisation as our work phones are so rubbish, never work properly or have signal.

Then that's up to them to sort it out or get a better system

I do understand your thinking yesterday might have been some sort of emergency, but now true colours have been shown you'll need to shut it down politely and formally - apart from anything else if he's some whizz kid out to make his mark you may need the formality in future

Breadcat24 · 23/10/2025 14:52

One polite email saying I am not sure you realise I am on leave until xxThen ignore

usedtobeaylis · 23/10/2025 14:50

I would be querying him reviewing the reasonable adjustments, not being afraid that he will reverse them. I think you need to raise that and the phone calls with HR - it's up to them and HIS manager to make him aware that he is overstepping his boundaries.

WashYourDamnRice · 23/10/2025 14:46

This is why work don't have my personal number. The breaking point came when I had 16 missed calls over some trivial shit that could absolutely have waited. I appreciate this may not be an option but definitely something to think about.

nosleepforme · 23/10/2025 14:40

do not answer
id be asking if they realised that if I’m required to work, they’re required to pay me as regi

PlaceIntheClouds · 23/10/2025 14:38

Reject the calls. Don't even ignore them.
They need to get the hint.

Ratafia · 23/10/2025 14:21

If HR are on your boss's back about something, all he has to do is tell them it will have to await your return. HR of all people should be conscious of the importance of not interrupting your holiday.

SprayWhiteDung · 23/10/2025 14:14

I wonder how he would react if you turned up with a sandpit and deckchair and set them up near your desk, before getting yourself relaxed, calming music in your headphones and reading your book?

If he complains... well he was the one who decided to bring work to your holiday, so how can he possibly object to the other way around?!

SprayWhiteDung · 23/10/2025 14:11

Cardinalita90 · 23/10/2025 09:36

Clearly YANBU and I'm surprised he thinks 8am is an acceptable time to call anyone whether they're on leave or not! You need to set some boundaries or this will become the norm.

It's a weird time to choose, isn't it?

Many people are either not up or properly breakfasted/ready for the day yet if they are retired, on leave, school holidays or whatever; or otherwise they're getting ready for work or school and likely travelling.

Not that a routine work call is welcome at any time when you're on leave; but 8am is especially likely to be an inconvenient time for many people.

Wrenjay · 23/10/2025 14:07

Ask/request your 2 days to be paid overtime or reinstated to be taken later. He is going to do this all round the Company and it is not a legal requirement that you must adhere to his rules. You must have a contract: look up your terms and conditions. When you are going on leave put a message on your work phone and email that you are out of the office on leave and will reply on your return. Also add that your private email and phone number are not for the Company's use under ANY circumstances and let HR know.

MrsJeanLuc · 23/10/2025 14:06

wetlettuce41 · 23/10/2025 09:23

So yesterday I did phone back, as I saw a few missed calls then I had a text from my colleague. I assumed it was something urgent because of that.

Now that I know it’s not… to have more calls at just a few minutes past 8 this morning when I’m in bed has really annoyed me. I’m usually up early as I have a long commute so was looking forward to being able to have a lie in!

I feel in a difficult position as the new boss has been making a point of reviewing mine and other peoples reasonable adjustments (I have a disability), and has made comments that he is needing to check if “people are working in the right place”. There has been at atmosphere since he came of the team feeling on edge. I’m worried if I push back it will make things worse at work for me.

It rather depends how senior you are.

Assuming you are no higher than first or second tier of management then what you are describing is unacceptable, and I think you SHOULD log a complaint with HR.

Cakeandusername · 23/10/2025 13:53

Not on at all. He shouldn’t be contacting you on your own device at all.
I’d reply I’m in annual leave until x date. It drags your head back into work mode. It will be against all sorts of HR policies.

Nurseleaver82 · 23/10/2025 13:52

Just say 'I'm really sorry, I only answered yesterday as I initially thought there was an emergency, I am on leave and would prefer not to be contacted whilst on leave"

buckeejit · 23/10/2025 13:48

Yanbu - soft complaint to HR in order.

messagebhim back saying you don’t wish to be contacted when you’re on leave. You don’t deal with private matters on work time & you don’t deal with work matters on private time, (unless really urgent which this obv isn’t)

I'm seething on your behalf!

Springersrock · 23/10/2025 13:45

My boss does this to me and it drives me nuts. It’s never anything important, she just thinks the world revolves around her.

I put the work group chat on mute (although she’s discovered she can @ me and it gets round the mute) and just ignore any work messages or phone calls. I just ignore them all, I don’t open the messages, don’t pick up the phone or anything

Mind you, I was in Thailand earlier this year and she fucking called me at midnight there - I did answer that one and tore her off a strip - she was apologetic, had forgotten the time difference but while I’m on could I just tell her where to find something. I said no and hung up. She actually hasn’t called me when I’m on leave since