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AIBU?

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Original poster

Partners Weight Comment

53 replies

LomotheGreat · 23/10/2025 08:12

"We need to loose some weight"

Context: Partner has always had body issues. He has always been self-conscious about his weight and will berate himself all the time for eating 'snacks.'

Until I had my DD (8 years ago) I was slim. When pregnant, people would say things to me like "you'll spring back into shape as soon as you've had baby." I didn't. I'm in my 40's now, I have a few health issues related to hormones and possibly peri-menopausal. I'm constantly tired. I have little inclination to exercise, and I have changed careers from a job where I was on my feet all day to an office environment where I'm sitting for most of the day.

I notice his eyes looking at my stomach area, and more recently he playfully grabs me in the area where the band of my bra creates a bulges on my back (kind of the back of my armpits).

I have become bigger and I'm very aware of it, I just don't vocalise my self-consciousness.

AIBU to be so hurt by his comment?

I have expressed to him that I am not happy about the comment.

OP posts:
Hohofortherobbers · 23/10/2025 08:20

Grabbing you is unkind, but i dont think his comment is insensitive, your dp cares about both of your healths. It wasn't nasty, but maybe difficult to hear.

Wildgoat · 23/10/2025 08:19

The grabbing your fat isn’t ok but I think “we need to lose some weight” is. How much do you weigh/dress size. As you might say oh I’m five foot 8 weigh ten stone and am a size 12. Secondly are you happy with your weight or do you agree with him?

if you are overweight or obese, and wish to lose the weight, why not embrace it. If you’re overweight or obese and don’t wish to lose weight, then tell him that, if you’re neither, then tell him to sod off.

BigOldBlobsy · 23/10/2025 08:16

He shouldn’t be making comments or physical digs about your weight. Have you called him out on his behaviour?

It’s one thing offering to support and motivate you both to lose weight, if that is what you BOTH want. But making you feel self conscious isn’t okay.

It’s hard isn’t it as we’re entitled to find whatever we want attractive in terms of body shape, but he’s your partner so should be supporting you in a less judgemental way.

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