Dh saw old images of my ex ex and I

Perhaps she doesn't.
But it's not ridiculous. Sharing of explicit images on the Internet is a very real thing.

And she is blaming her H for his reaction. When in fact he has cause to be shaken about seeing these images on a few levels.

I’m not sure once taking intimate photos with your partner makes you a different person. Sounds a bit shame-y to me.

You need to stop talking about it or thinking about it. It's in the past. You also need to let your DH have the space to get himself over it, without smothering him to be normal. He will return to normal.

Of course it was a shock for him to see intimate photos of you with another man

God knows why you didn't delete the photos - absolute fucking madness

I expect he feels shocked, insecure, mind-fucked and I dont imagine you saying sorry is going to cut it

Give him some time .....men can be very competitive.....maybe he feels 'less than' now

Op has not indicated that she thought it was a daft thing to do in the past. It is not my thing but many couples do enjoy taking intimate pics and videos. Young and old. Some might regret them, some might not.In this case it was unfortunate that someone outside of the couple got access to them. Which is also very unfair to the ex.

The OP doesn't need your ridiculous catastrophising at the moment.

This. The voice of reason.

There is doing " daft things" and there is taking pornographic images of yourself.

And there is taking pornographic images of yourself and " losing track" of these images, as OP has said she has done.

That is not just a bit of " daftness". That has serious implications for your privacy. Goodness knows who has access to these images.

Roles reversed we would be tearing him apart. That's a horrible thing to see.

All you can do is give it time, it heals all wounds.

It's not a rational response but sometimes we're not rational.

I also don't think he's done much wrong, he wasn't snooping and I'm a bit suspicious of posters who are trying to make him out to be the bad guy, nobody's the bad guy.

To wipe a phone you don’t need to go through it! If it was your phone from the very early days of your relationship (possibly still in a relationship with your ex when you got it) then he should have been mindful of that! You’ve done nothing wrong! Of course it stung him but being distant is crazy. Serves him right. I struggle with always thinking I’ve done something wrong (childhood trauma - thanks 🙈) but you have done NOTHING wrong. Let him have a sulk, you carry on as normal, stress and upset is not good for your baby. It won’t hurt husband to realise you’re still a desirable woman to other men in my opinion.

I don’t understand this at all. If the images were from a couple of years ago even I might get it but not from OP’s 20’s.

Regarding images online: that is not something to put onto Op is it? That should make him feel more empathy for her.

Give him a few days to get over it, he is just dealing with his emotions which would be quite visceral. I too would be a bit schocked with the visual confrontation of a partner's previous intimate life. You have done nothing wrong, neither has he. He'll process his feelings soon enough. Try not to let the anxiety get to you and concentrate on the pregnancy and rest of your life. All will be fine.

Surely checking the photos is the main reason to fire up an old phone before you get rid.

Just let them have feelings for a few days. Sometimes you need time to process even after the discussions.

That still doesn’t give him license to look through your old photos.

I have been in his position before. It may be that he is really struggling with holding these images in his head now and will need lots and lots of time for them to fade and for them not to pop up in his mind when he sees you or is intimate with you. He may also struggle if he thinks sex was somehow ‘better’ or ‘more fun’ for you with a previous partner.

its not a rational’ response but visceral and very hard to overcome. I found that the only way I could move past images like this is when my partner very clearly and lovingly reassured me of his unwavering love and fancying me and choosing me first etc etc iyswim? Even years after, these images sometimes pop into my head when we are being intimate but we have found ways to erase them again but it has required him to do a LOT of work to reassure me that I am his special one, and he knows how to bring me back when my head goes there.

If he is anything like me you need to reassure him lots and understand it may take a long time for the images to move towards the back of his mind when you are being intimate.

he is the love of my life and I know rationally I am his, but it’s very hard to move past jealousy of previous experiences and it takes time. We all have pasts.

good luck op

Ah I assumed she meant one of those recycle schemes where you get a few quid.

Ive never recycled a really old phone ive just smashed shit out of it if ive ever come across one in the house after an IT geek told me it was easier to recover files from older phones even if theyve been wiped

Oh come on. We've all done daft things when we're young - some of us are old enough to be very thankful camera phones didn't exist back then!

Just give it some time OP - imagine how you would have felt if you'd found the same of him. You haven't done anything wrong.

Bit off that he’s sulking. Yes it’s not pleasant but what’s done is done.

You will probably laugh about this in the future. Yes its super awkward but you did nothing wrong.
Its probably more a ego thing for him. Its one thing knowing your partner has a previous sex life but its another seeing it.
He may just be wondering if the other person satisfied you more then he does.
Obviously very daft thing to worry about .