Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dislike being called "ladies"

166 replies

Disco2022 · 22/10/2025 23:35

It seems to happen on here more recently and there's something about it which just grates on me! It makes me want to swear and announce "I'm no lady,"
It also reminds me a bit of David Dickinson when he used to say "Ladies, may I call you girls" in that sickening sleazy way.
Much prefer just being called a woman.
Anyway fairly light-hearted just a late night ponder.

OP posts:
Pashazade · 23/10/2025 07:46

I use ladies if I’m addressing/teaching a large group of women, it seems friendlier than people, when it is just a group of women. Can’t really get worked up about it as it is at least polite.

HRTQueen · 23/10/2025 07:44

if said in a condescending way I don’t like it but then it doesn’t matter how I am addressed if someone is being condescending then I will likely pick that up in their tone

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 23/10/2025 07:40

Thankyourose · 23/10/2025 07:39

‘Thanks everyone’ ? Would that not do? Or ‘thanks team’??
what are people saying to men ‘ thanks gentlemen?’

Show quote history

Actually they do say “Thank you Gentlemen”.

LilyCanna · 23/10/2025 07:40

I might use ‘lady’ in the context of talking to a small child (‘let the lady get on the bus first’). Otherwise I do find ‘ladies’ slightly jarring because of its history of being used in a patronising way.
I don’t think I ever feel the need for a special word to highlight the sex of a group I’m talking to. I’d just say ‘Thanks everyone!’ Or ‘Bye everyone, lovely to see you all.’ Posting on here I’d assume that if it’s a female-specific question, responses will mainly be from women, even if I don’t start my post, ‘Ladies!’.

Thankyourose · 23/10/2025 07:39

Thepeopleversuswork · 23/10/2025 07:35

I hate “ladies”. It manages to be both twee and slightly pervy at the same time.

But as others have pointed out you can’t really say; “Thanks women”.

‘Thanks everyone’ ? Would that not do? Or ‘thanks team’??
what are people saying to men ‘ thanks gentlemen?’

EleanorReally · 23/10/2025 07:39

ZenNudist · 23/10/2025 07:37

We aren't all female and seems regressive to assume.

what on earth is that supposed to mean?

Thankyourose · 23/10/2025 07:38

I don’t like it either, sounds both old fashioned and a bit patronising depending on the circumstances.
Not much call for it though, and other words can be substituted quite easily…

ZenNudist · 23/10/2025 07:37

We aren't all female and seems regressive to assume.

Thepeopleversuswork · 23/10/2025 07:35

I hate “ladies”. It manages to be both twee and slightly pervy at the same time.

But as others have pointed out you can’t really say; “Thanks women”.

Coconutter24 · 23/10/2025 07:35

hotpot444 · 23/10/2025 02:48

I haven’t liked it for ages but unsure what the alternative could be. I wouldn’t never go up to a group of men and say, hey men.

Maybe ‘hey guys’ but I also am not fully on board with that either. I guess I’m hard to please!

What’s wrong with hey guys?
tbh I don’t even address everyone in anyway I just say ‘hi, how’s everyone doing’ then I get to my point

Adooree · 23/10/2025 07:35

I'm often out in a cafe with my dh, and when our tea / coffee is being put down on the table the comment is often " There you go , guys " " Here you are guys " .

Tbh , that annoys me , we are not two guys . Make a comment by all means , it's friendly and nice to be acknowledged , but please drop the guys !

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 23/10/2025 07:35

I think we should stick with ladies. Otherwise we have no word used to address us as a group. Reclaim it!

CurlewKate · 23/10/2025 07:33

WatchingTheDetective · 22/10/2025 23:43

I really dislike it too, but you can't really say come on women, or listen, women.

“Come on, everyone.””Listen everyone!”
Sorted.

AgnesX · 23/10/2025 07:32

I didn't think ladies was appropriate these days (🙄) I'd much rather have it than guys.

EleanorReally · 23/10/2025 07:30

i say ladies
i might start saying Comrades - i am talking about in person rather than online

EleanorReally · 23/10/2025 07:28

but girls is wrong
what would you like
Females?
guys?

Soontobe60 · 23/10/2025 07:28

SilverStateLady · 23/10/2025 02:55

I’ve gone the whole other way - I’m in a WhatsApp group chat, all of us are women…..and it makes me cringe when someone starts a message relevant to everyone with “Ladies”……so if I need to address everyone I now start my message with “Alright lads?” 🤷🏻‍♀️🫠🫠😂

But if it’s a female only group, there are no ‘lads’.

SweetnsourNZ · 23/10/2025 07:24

OonaStubbs · 23/10/2025 01:23

What are people supposed to say? Girls? Ladies? Women? Pretty much every term offends somebody for some reason.

When I was young calling someone a woman was considered disrespectful. It implied she was too loose or common to be called a lady. That was in the 70s. Times change. I used to think girl was insulting but don't now. Female is probably the worst one now because that seems to be what the misogynists use a lot.

RedRec · 23/10/2025 07:18

SilverStateLady · 23/10/2025 02:55

I’ve gone the whole other way - I’m in a WhatsApp group chat, all of us are women…..and it makes me cringe when someone starts a message relevant to everyone with “Ladies”……so if I need to address everyone I now start my message with “Alright lads?” 🤷🏻‍♀️🫠🫠😂

So is the use of it in your username ironic?

CoffeeCantata · 23/10/2025 07:14

WatchingTheDetective · 22/10/2025 23:43

I really dislike it too, but you can't really say come on women, or listen, women.

Absolutely. It’s a more formal term for addressing a group of women or for a woman who’s a stranger whose name you don’t know. It definitely has a function.

I wasn’t going to say to my children “Just move out of the way for the woman” or similar.

i think people should chill about things like this. I’m a very firm feminist but am happy to hear groups addressed as ladies and gentlemen - they’re both just a formal device and have their place.

Totally different when sleazy Russell Brand types talk about “the laydeez “.

tuvamoodyson · 23/10/2025 06:20

Doesn’t bother me in the least.

SilverStateLady · 23/10/2025 02:55

I’ve gone the whole other way - I’m in a WhatsApp group chat, all of us are women…..and it makes me cringe when someone starts a message relevant to everyone with “Ladies”……so if I need to address everyone I now start my message with “Alright lads?” 🤷🏻‍♀️🫠🫠😂

hotpot444 · 23/10/2025 02:48

I haven’t liked it for ages but unsure what the alternative could be. I wouldn’t never go up to a group of men and say, hey men.

Maybe ‘hey guys’ but I also am not fully on board with that either. I guess I’m hard to please!

letsgotothebeach · 23/10/2025 02:45

I have a what I believed was an irrational dislike of the group “Hi ladies/Thanks ladies”, I’m glad to see it’s not just me. I always put “Hi all/Thanks all” on group chats - maybe other people think that sounds strange, but I definitely prefer it!

spoonbillstretford · 23/10/2025 02:26

I agree, there's no need to refer to my sex at all in any situation it is used and it always sounds a bit bleurgh to me.

Hi ladies, would you like to order?

Hi there, would you like to order?

Swipe left for the next trending thread