Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To dislike being called "ladies"

166 replies

Disco2022 · 22/10/2025 23:35

It seems to happen on here more recently and there's something about it which just grates on me! It makes me want to swear and announce "I'm no lady,"
It also reminds me a bit of David Dickinson when he used to say "Ladies, may I call you girls" in that sickening sleazy way.
Much prefer just being called a woman.
Anyway fairly light-hearted just a late night ponder.

OP posts:
Borethefuckoff · 23/10/2025 08:28

I don’t have the energy to get bothered by such things!

susiedaisy1912 · 23/10/2025 08:27

Doesn’t bother me one bit.

Bundleflower · 23/10/2025 08:27

I like being called a lady. Judging by threads I see on here nobody likes being called ANYTHING!

Coconutter24 · 23/10/2025 08:27

ZenNudist · 23/10/2025 07:37

We aren't all female and seems regressive to assume.

Surely people in a group chat know if their friends are female (or what they identify as 🤦‍♀️)

DontGoJasonWaterfalls · 23/10/2025 08:27

Clawdy · 23/10/2025 08:11

Someone said they thought David Dickinson was dead!? He's on tv every day in Dickinson's Real Deal!

I only watch things on demand / streaming so I assumed it had all ended years ago when he died (except that he didn't 🙈)

EmeraldShamrock000 · 23/10/2025 08:26

I use gentleman when the male is an older gent, they probably hate it too.

NamelessNancy · 23/10/2025 08:26

CurlewKate · 23/10/2025 08:19

The “guys” thing is interesting. Another example of the fact that in English, “unisex” usually means something masculine that women are allowed to use. You can see it on baby name threads.

Very much. To the point where there is a drifting of names which began as boys' names, became unisex and then end up being almost universally used as girls' names. Hilary and Alison are a couple of examples. There is no drift in the opposite direction funnily enough. People start to use eg James as a girl's name but nobody is deciding to call their son Lucy.

Myblueclematis · 23/10/2025 08:25

I don't mind ladies, I think it's just polite and must be a minefield these days to find a way of not upsetting or offending someone or other with how you refer to them. 🙄

Personally, it wasn't something I stewed over if someone called me a lady or collectively, ladies if in a group of women.

I have never come across anyone ever in the workplace or outside it who was miffed about being referred to as lady or ladies either.

I obviously need to get out more.

CurlewKate · 23/10/2025 08:19

The “guys” thing is interesting. Another example of the fact that in English, “unisex” usually means something masculine that women are allowed to use. You can see it on baby name threads.

Clingfilm · 23/10/2025 08:17

Doesn't bother me at all, it's a polite plural and it has male equivalent eg 'what can I get you, gents?'.

I'm a fan of using a range of greetings depending who I'm with though - gals, fwends, chaps, nerds, chumps, slags, knobbers 😁

CurlewKate · 23/10/2025 08:17

Pashazade · 23/10/2025 07:46

I use ladies if I’m addressing/teaching a large group of women, it seems friendlier than people, when it is just a group of women. Can’t really get worked up about it as it is at least polite.

So what to you say for a group of men?

HumerousHumous · 23/10/2025 08:16

Adooree · 23/10/2025 07:35

I'm often out in a cafe with my dh, and when our tea / coffee is being put down on the table the comment is often " There you go , guys " " Here you are guys " .

Tbh , that annoys me , we are not two guys . Make a comment by all means , it's friendly and nice to be acknowledged , but please drop the guys !

Yes this. Worst is my sport that I do. We’re an all female team and the coach says “ok, guys, let’s start with …”.

And walking into a gym once two women both probably in their sixties came through at the same time and the man on reception called out “Hi guys!”. Hate it. So disrespectful.

Op, I don’t mind “ladies” at all as what’s the alternative. Maybe “Hi everyone”.

helpfulperson · 23/10/2025 08:11

spoonbillstretford · 23/10/2025 02:26

I agree, there's no need to refer to my sex at all in any situation it is used and it always sounds a bit bleurgh to me.

Hi ladies, would you like to order?

Hi there, would you like to order?

To me 'Hi there' sound quite rude, certainly not how I would be expect to be addressed as a customer.

ThePerfectTimeToPanic · 23/10/2025 08:11

A lot of creepy men that hang around the sex board and sex threads on the relationships board say ladies, even worse when they say ‘the ladies’. 🤢

Clawdy · 23/10/2025 08:11

Someone said they thought David Dickinson was dead!? He's on tv every day in Dickinson's Real Deal!

WildFlowerBees · 23/10/2025 08:11

I’ll take ladies over guys. ‘Hey guys’…piss off.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 23/10/2025 08:10

Meh, it's the same word. I prefer it at times.
If a child is in my pathway and the parents says make way for the woman or lady, I prefer lady.

FuzzyPuffling · 23/10/2025 08:10

I hate "guys".

user5972308467 · 23/10/2025 08:09

SilverStateLady · 23/10/2025 02:55

I’ve gone the whole other way - I’m in a WhatsApp group chat, all of us are women…..and it makes me cringe when someone starts a message relevant to everyone with “Ladies”……so if I need to address everyone I now start my message with “Alright lads?” 🤷🏻‍♀️🫠🫠😂

Yet your user name…🤣

LasVegass · 23/10/2025 08:08

The older I get the more I think it’s actually ok. Maybe I’m finally becoming a lady myself. Better than client, patient, service user etc.

PersephoneParlormaid · 23/10/2025 08:07

I use it myself as a woman, can’t see the problem.

Iwanttoliveinagardencentre · 23/10/2025 08:05

I don’t mind “ladies” at all.

“Guys” on the other hand gets right on my tits.

Westfacing · 23/10/2025 08:04

It can seem condescending when said by a man - and creepy when said by male posters on Mumsnet.

I don't have a huge problem with it, and certainly not when it's women to women.

NamelessNancy · 23/10/2025 07:53

Bigcat25 · 23/10/2025 00:14

I know 'ladies' is sometimes considered out-moded now but I do kinda like it; I like how the word sounds and find it much preferable to 'females,' which is also being used by some misogynists to describe women.

Yeah, this 'females' thing is awful. I've only recently noticed it but perhaps it was always a thing? Those who use it will typically use 'men' rather than 'males'.

Thepeopleversuswork · 23/10/2025 07:50

Thankyourose · 23/10/2025 07:39

‘Thanks everyone’ ? Would that not do? Or ‘thanks team’??
what are people saying to men ‘ thanks gentlemen?’

Trouble is I hate most of these forms of collective address. There’s something so cringe about them. I loathe it when people say “Team” at the start of an email. It makes me shudder. “Guys” isn’t much better. “All” is OK.

These words are just intrinsically naff. I don’t know why.

Swipe left for the next trending thread