To dislike being called "ladies"

I wish "chaps" was gender neutral. Love that one.

Ladies is fine. Just don't say the word guys. I resent it so much.

They’re women. It’s women’s football. Not ladies football.

Men’s football isn’t called gentlemen’s football. It’s called Men’s football.

Surely you can see why those are different when you say ladies not women’s?

How is it rude? Surely it's ruder to refer to women as ladies when a lot of us dislike it so much. And so what if someone can't tell your gender???

@Greysowhat that feels very rude to me. But we're all different I guess. I would think someone couldn't tell my gender if they said "person" 😅

If it's a biggish group I say "let all the people past". But I wouldn't say person for a singular.

You could use the word person.

Lady is merely a polite form of woman. Maybe footballers who are women cannot aspire to that but it’s not wrong to use the term. Who really cares? We are so hung up on being offended these days.

Reminds me of the time I went to Lidl, new young lad on the till. In the space of 5 minutes he had called me Love, dear, and darling. The woman behind me gave me an amused look and we both cracked up. 😆
I (gently) advised him that just one, or better, none of those were necessary. He gives me the side eye nowadays.👀

It doesn’t bother me. Anything’s better than ‘you guys’ to a mixed sex group of middle-aged plus.

I grew up in the 80s, and my mum deliberately didn't say 'lady' or encourage us to do so, I think because (a) it implies a particular set of gendered behaviours that doesn't apply to men (being 'ladylike'), and (b) because it also implied to her a sense of social inferiority, i.e. something you might say to or about someone you considered socially superior to you.

Re. PP's point about sports above, I do a sport where my national governing body deliberately shifted from 'ladies' to 'women' when labelling its competitions several years ago, and I think that's a good thing.

Greetings Fellow Double X Chromosomed Earthlings is the way to go

Much of the time it’s not necessary to use anything

hi ladies, what can I get you?
hi, what can I get you?

ladies feels like a shitty little cage to me. It’s all context though isn’t it. I heard a professional address a homeless man as a gentleman and thought it was really respectful and powerful. These words do have different meanings to woman and man hence the context can grate.

But men do address groups of men this way. Or else 'gents' or 'chaps'. I don't see a difference.

Absolutely agree, OP - it's incredibly patronising. Even worse when women do it.

The only place it's acceptable is Wimbledon, where we have both Ladies' and Gentlemen's Championships!

I absolutely hate 'folk'! I don't know it's because I'm a Southerner or what but I always think of Hillbilly type people or very elderly people from the middle ages 😂

It's all irrational really isn't it? I take the point that 'lady' can sound twee but I prefer it to other labels for groups of women. Language can be so subsonsciouely loaded, cant it? It's quite fascinating really!

Yeah it’s health and safety gone mad

I loathe it, especially on here. Any thread that starts ‘Ladies’ immediately irritates me. It’s so patronising. You’d never get the equivalent ‘gentlemen…’.

@helpfulperson goodness you're right, I just played it out in my head and I would say man too, isn't that crazy.

I wonder if it's because, bear with me bit of a tangent. When I hear the word woman it reminds me of the way the older generation used to say things like "make my dinner woman" etc. My grandad still refers to my nana as woman, "make me a cuppa woman". It really bothers me, it's like we as a collective have no name, no importance. I think that's why I automatically say ladies, feels softer, kinder. I hope that makes sense 😊 x

I’d not really thought it about it before but yes I agree, it conjure up images of bloused and skirted twin set and pearls standing in unison.

our dance excercise class leader uses it a lot and I hate it - but thinking about it I’m not sure what else she could use rather than ‘come on ladies’ ?? Come on ‘group’ /people’ maybe?

I don’t mind ladies but girls used for adult women is awful

I agree that that is what I would say and think it is the the right thing. But then I thought about what I would say if it was a male and realised I would say let the man through or kind man, not gentleman.

The subtleties of language are fascinating.

I don't care. Just as long as not "girls".

Yes that's quite true. The lady at the petrol station calls me darling, local market stall holders often say love, I really don't have any issue at all with that.

If they were to say "what can I get you, you old bag/silly cow/ugly old bat" then I think I'd definitely have something to complain about.

We have a double buggy and get the bus often. I say to my toddler "we wait our turn, let the ladies through first" or "say thank you to the kind lady" etc. What else can I say? Let the woman past? Say thank you to HER over there?