Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To dislike being called "ladies"

166 replies

Disco2022 · 22/10/2025 23:35

It seems to happen on here more recently and there's something about it which just grates on me! It makes me want to swear and announce "I'm no lady,"
It also reminds me a bit of David Dickinson when he used to say "Ladies, may I call you girls" in that sickening sleazy way.
Much prefer just being called a woman.
Anyway fairly light-hearted just a late night ponder.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
fuzzyduck1 · 25/10/2025 22:27

I don’t like being called a Lady.
but then I am a gentleman.

i think ladies and gentlemen sounds better than the alternatives

men and women,
boys and girls,
guys and dolls,
hims and hers

i think I’ll stick with lady/ladies just sounds better.

Seabubbles · 25/10/2025 21:50

Something that mightily pissed me off (and I'll probably get flamed for this) was when I was in the Verity Facebook Group (PCOS Support Group) and someone who said they are Trans put a post up asking everyone in the group to stop beginning posts with Hello Ladies because it's made them feel excluded as they aren't aren't a Lady. And OK, I get it but it really annoyed me as it is a group about a female gynocelogical condition, and I felt it unnecessary. So to answer your question I get more irritated being asked not to use it. And no I'm a dark ages, Anti Trans Bigot either, as I was called.

TheFiveLakes · 24/10/2025 20:29

Washingupdone · 24/10/2025 18:11

So what do you suggest OP?

Goodbye women and gentlemen.
I am not a doll, person, guy nor ladette or folk.

Personally I prefer ladies

You're not a person?

What's wrong with the world "everyone" - it works in most of the cases "ladies" is being used - "hi everyone," or "thanks everyone!" or "have a good weekend everyone!" or "excuse me everyone,".

Unless you're referring to the toilets or changing rooms there aren't many situations where the word ladies is more useful than "everyone", especially as a form of address.

ticklyfeet · 24/10/2025 19:19

I know exactly what you mean. It’s not only being called a lady but also prefixing with Young…as though you were to giggle and be flattered as being referred to as young. Piss off you patronising twit. This type of greeting is meant to demean you even if it’s done subconsciously..

Washingupdone · 24/10/2025 18:11

So what do you suggest OP?

Goodbye women and gentlemen.
I am not a doll, person, guy nor ladette or folk.

Personally I prefer ladies

SweetnsourNZ · 24/10/2025 01:17

Throughahedgebackwards · 23/10/2025 13:19

Interesting. At a girls' secondary in the mid eighties we were outraged at being addressed as ladies by a male teacher, and left him in no doubt that we considered it sexist.
Ithink the idea that women is somehow rude is deeply misogynistic.

Just shows you the difference a few decades makes. When I was at high school in the 80s we had the girls can do anything campaign and I still remember the backlash from men in trades saying they would never employ a woman. Now no one blinks an eye about a female plumber or builder.

Ohthatsabitshit · 24/10/2025 00:54

I don’t find it creepy at all. Preferable to “women” by a mile.

TheFiveLakes · 23/10/2025 20:51

Folks makes me think of Bugs Bunny - "That's all folks ha ha ha har ha" - [carrot crunch sound]

Showing my age?

Why not just "All" or "Everyone".

One all women group I'm in some people open with "Hello lovelies" but whether that's ok or weird depends very much who is writing it I think...

Ladies is better than girls if the women are indeed adults, but it's just very old fashioned (says the person old enough to have referenced Loony Tunes) and just slightly creepy somehow...

TheFiveLakes · 23/10/2025 20:38

IstillloveKingThistle · 23/10/2025 00:39

I hate it .
An example for me is the class WhatsApp group ( all on mute - then deleted .. but that’s a whole different thread) , whereby a person will ask a question and the response will be “‘thanks ladies”.
Fuck off.

I have really thought about it ( that’s how much it pisses me off ) and about what I would prefer the response to be and I’m a bit stumped - as ridiculous as it sounds .
‘ guys/ chicks / girlies ‘ Nope, not for me.

So fuck knows but yeah, agree with you wholeheartedly OP.

In that specific case "thanks everyone" would surely have been appropriate... Do none of the children in your child's class have fathers?

mumofoneAloneandwell · 23/10/2025 20:35

Ive been known to say hey ladies on here 😩😄

Ohthatsabitshit · 23/10/2025 20:30

It’s the equivalent of gentlemen, surely?

MNLurker1345 · 23/10/2025 20:28

Touch! or a fist bump!

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 23/10/2025 20:26

IstillloveKingThistle · 23/10/2025 00:39

I hate it .
An example for me is the class WhatsApp group ( all on mute - then deleted .. but that’s a whole different thread) , whereby a person will ask a question and the response will be “‘thanks ladies”.
Fuck off.

I have really thought about it ( that’s how much it pisses me off ) and about what I would prefer the response to be and I’m a bit stumped - as ridiculous as it sounds .
‘ guys/ chicks / girlies ‘ Nope, not for me.

So fuck knows but yeah, agree with you wholeheartedly OP.

Thanks all
Thank you everyone
Cheers peeps

HedwigEliza · 23/10/2025 20:26

It’s polite. Much better than girls, or girlies, which sound ridiculous when addressing adult women.

MNLurker1345 · 23/10/2025 20:22

I had my DGD and her friend over yesterday. 14/15. I referred to them as ladies in passing. My DGD chuckled and said “she’s not a lady…..oh yes she is I suppose”. Her friend beamed! Yes she did! Most probably the first and last time she will be called a lady. I hope not!

IstillloveKingThistle · 23/10/2025 20:18

FanFckingTastic · 23/10/2025 13:25

Honestly, I could not care...As long as I'm not being spoken to a rude way then crack on!

I like you! 😁

OchreReader · 23/10/2025 19:53

OonaStubbs · 23/10/2025 01:23

What are people supposed to say? Girls? Ladies? Women? Pretty much every term offends somebody for some reason.

I agree!

eatreadsleeprepeat · 23/10/2025 19:44

I am another one who grew up to think that ladies was politer than women. For mixed sex groups I would say, hi all or hi folks, in groups of people I am closer to I would say thank you ladies because that is what everyone in the group says. I am quite conscientious about trying to keep up with the currently accepted terminology and don’t want to offend people but sometimes the accepted term changes overnight.

Bec1968 · 23/10/2025 19:34

I always use 'ladies' ....

At work when i walk into staff room or when im leaving, I say .... hello ladies or bye ladies have a great afternoon etc ..

airportfloor · 23/10/2025 19:10

I absolutely hate it too but cannot stop saying it and writing it. Thanks ladies!

Mistyglade · 23/10/2025 19:09

ResusciAnnie · 23/10/2025 18:38

Oh god that would make me physically recoil. Human Beans. It's giving early 00s David Brent. It's one of those things that the person saying thinks is an original, witty thought, but it's just tiresome.

Someone who was very disparaging about me calls her family members, bean. Yuk and cringe.

HangingOver · 23/10/2025 19:07

CalmShaker · 22/10/2025 23:58

I actually find David a true old school gentleman and think you are being unreasonable, I have voted accordingly.

I've worked with him, he's an egomaniac.

utamea · 23/10/2025 19:06

Difficult really. I recall that 40 years ago woman/women used as an address was not very polite. It implied you were not a lady. If you said “that woman there” instead of “that lady there” it would imply that you thought the woman was not a lady - ie a bit of a tramp.

dontcomeatme · 23/10/2025 18:58

ResusciAnnie · 23/10/2025 18:38

Oh god that would make me physically recoil. Human Beans. It's giving early 00s David Brent. It's one of those things that the person saying thinks is an original, witty thought, but it's just tiresome.

@ResusciAnnie completely agree, but it is gender neutral 😅 I don't think there's any other phrase in the world that's gender neutral, well according to this thread! (Hyperbole obviously).

ResusciAnnie · 23/10/2025 18:38

dontcomeatme · 23/10/2025 18:23

@OonaStubbs my friend refers to everyone as Bean. She always has. She says that we're all "human beans". She might be onto something 🤔 not much to get offended over by Bean is there? Plus gender neutral as far as I'm aware!

Oh god that would make me physically recoil. Human Beans. It's giving early 00s David Brent. It's one of those things that the person saying thinks is an original, witty thought, but it's just tiresome.

Swipe left for the next trending thread