To wonder if charging people to attend a party is normal?

If the parents want to avoid being embarrassed, all they have to do is not throw a party they can't afford.
Nobody is forcing them to have a bouncy castle and pizza for the entire class.

Hi Jean, received text but rather puzzled. Have never before been asked for payment to attend child's party. Is this a miscommunication? Please advise.

If they can't afford it themselves then they shouldn't be planning that sort of food.

This has reminded me about a party my 8yo dd went to recently, the party mum gave my dd her phone to call me to say she couldn’t eat the food provided because of her allergies. No offer to get something else. The same party mums first party we were ever invited to was the most disorganised event, bouncy castle and dj in a village hall, some tea and coffee a bit of juice, not enough cups then the grandparents left half way through and brought back half a dozen pizzas for 30plus kids, no checks on what everyone could eat and the party family also got stuck in so kids missed out.

I thought given the amount of times we gone to parties together, hosted each others children, my DDs had sleep overs there, that I didn’t think I needed to remind her of my DDs allergies, especially given one of her DCs has the same.

It really pissed me off at the time as my dd had a party at the same venue literally one week earlier on the same package so I know for a fact there were plenty of food options available.

Any way, no this is not normal, I wouldn’t pay. If you want to say you will bring your own food and see what they say to that.

YANBU

Party mother is a CF. If you can't afford ro host a party, then don't throw one.

I'd be inclined to decline the invitation.

Plus, Papa John's pizza is boakworthy.

I think it's appalling.

I’d reply along the lines of ‘sorry I wasn’t aware this was a paid for event, as I thought you were hosting! We’ll have to decline I’m afraid - hope you have a lovely day.’

No one is entitled to a birthday party, but you shouldn’t be throwing a party that is beyond your means. I am sure they could
get a few frozen pizzas and brought over instead .

Or it's just a deposit for food so 20 people don't ignore the RSVP and then randomly turn up expecting food and party bags for their child.

Absolute joke!

Wedding meals are for adults and also aren't going to be £5 and for pizza.

It's a bouncy castle and pizza for a 5 year old child.

Ask the parent who has sent the WhatsApp directly.
Is more money required for the party as you need to check finances, as the £5 required is a deposit so how much is the full amount

I never would have charged, but it seems like I'm one of the few who has once been asked to pay. Think she only wanted us to pay for the centre, not food, but we didn't go so who knows?
I have heard a lot of parents say they want to charge though, for all the people who say they're coming and don't turn up, or don't let you know so you have to pay for them anyway.
This seems to be much more common, another mum I know who had her first kid in 2005 says people are much ruder these days than the parents she knew back then (and no, I don't think she means I'm one of the rude ones as I'd always reply and turn up unless there was an emergency), so whether people are just trying to make sure they're not stuck with a bill because parents can't be bothered, I don't know.
Wasn't there a wedding recently where they charged guests to attend?

£5 is only the deposit, she'll probably be looking for more money on the day.

Not something I’ve ever experienced or would do, but wouldn’t bother me. I’d assume they wanted to secure numbers or they were tight on money. Either way wouldn’t faze me, afternoon out for my child - I’m paying for her to eat. No drama.

It's not common but I wouldn't begrudge paying a fiver for my kid to go and have a fun afternoon with friends and get pizza. What's worse you paying £5 or a kid having a crap birthday with no one showing up to the party because his mum asked for a small contribution?

@Laura95167 I know someone who charged guests to go to her wedding. It was 10+ years ago, and she asked for £25ph for the evening reception. Thankfully I wasn’t invited.

Not normal. Can't afford party, don't have party. Or at the very very least explain what you're doing at the invitation stage.

A lot of assumptions being made here. It's the easiest thing to clutch our pearls about the cheeky-fuckery/gaucheness of the party hosts, and maybe they are indeed one or the other. Or maybe they just want a commitment before they order in pizza for 30 kids in case only 7 of them show up. Either way, none of it is the birthday child's fault. Just ask the host.

Can you please tell me how that would be classed as “confrontational” 🤣🤣🤣

Are you the type of person to be “left shaken” at a simple text message?

For goodness sake don't set up a group chat to talk behind the host's back about it!

I think it is CF to invite people to a party then say theres a deposit.

I think at the invitation stage you say, this is the party X is included. Some of the kids have mentioned wanting a Papa John's but unfortunately I cant afford this as well but thought id suggest if any parents wanted to chip in £Y ill get DP to pick them up for anyone wanting to join in. Thanks for understanding.

If it was one of those wedding invites where guests are asked to pay for the meal wed all think CF.

I think its massively CF to invite people to a party you cant afford and after people accept casually message for a deposit.

Extremely odd. I feel like nowadays people often seem to forget that celebrations are entirely optional and if you don’t have the money to host one you don’t have to

Deposit also implies youll have a balance. I think its weird. She could have always just put on a few tesco pizzas if money is the issue

No. I know you don't mean any harm but it comes off bitchy AF.

"Hey, no pizza for Johnny, see you Saturday!)"