To wonder if charging people to attend a party is normal?

I’ve never been charged a deposit for a party, and no it’s not normal. It is however very very tempting given the number of families who’ve rsvp’d yes, not turned up, and I’ve lost the money I’ve paid for an unused place!

I would pay it, take my child, and let them have a nice afternoon…..

I’d not react as badly as some of the posters here or decline, if my child wished to go and I could afford it. Yes it’s not the norm, but maybe she can’t afford a party, and sure I get that means she should not have one, but maybe it means her kid could never have one. I’d pay to be honest.

Not normal. I would pull out.

No, ridiculous. They provide the food, supply what you can afford or don’t have the party.

I'd reach out to the parent and ask what they mean by "deposit" cos you've never heard of it before. I'm wondering if they don't know what deposits are? Is it to avoid ordering too much and having no shows? Are they inexperienced in the world on kid's parties? Can they afford the party? Haven't they thought about taking a load of cheap oven cooked pizzas/homemade food with them? Is she just a CF? I suspect it's the CF thing but I am quite empathetic and like to see the good in people.

Surely that's just a risk you take when you decide to host?!

And if Papa John's pizzas are expensive, the host could buy a couple of loaves of bread and some cheese and make sandwiches instead.

If you can't afford it, then don't host. Or at the very least, you make any costs clear to invitees at the time of sending the invitation.

It's rude, OP. Perfectly reasonable if you decide to decline the invitation in response, though you may want to suck it up if your dc is already excited about the party.

No not normal and definately rude. If shes struggling to have the money to cater then doing the party inbetween meal times and just putting out some packs of crisps and a slice of birthday cake is so much better than this CF pizza charging idea

My DD has just turned 4. We bought every child a happy meal as I couldn’t be bothered to do the food myself. Would never dream of charging the parents, after all, it’s my child and my choice to do what I did

Perfectly reasonable, Papa Johns pizza is expensive and at our local one if ordering more than 4 you have to pay and order a few days in advance
People are flakey and don't turn up to parties nowadays for stupid reasons. At my daughter's indoor ice skating party where I'd paid £10 per child in advance someone cancelled 10 minutes before it was due to start "because it was raining and her daughter had just had her hair done" another cancelled because "she didn't realise it would be cold at the ice rink" and she wanted to wear a party dress not wrap up warm!
I honestly wish I'd have asked for refundable deposits from parents!

That's disappointing...I was looking forward to finding out what a lunch castle was!!

I really hate parties that charge. If I’ve invited someone to something that they would give their time and bring a gift to, last thing I would be doing is asking them to chip in aswell. It’s so tacky.

God, don't do that!

Either speak to someone else or the party parents in person, or don't go.

That’s a new one!
never have I charged or been asked to pay for attending a party. Being a host you should organise the party you can afford.

sone halls have kitchens and you can buy your own pizzas and cook them there - a lot cheaper and they’re usually easier for little ones to eat than huge takeaway type ones.

Not all 5 year olds like pizza, so could be interesting. If yours doesn’t politely suggest you’ll pack a lunch for them instead.

To be fair it was always in the summer holidays but his classmates’ were spread over the year.

a popular ‘party’ was to take a bus somewhere free with a packed lunch. I think the trip out with their class mates was the treat.

Probably not viable unless you live in a large town/city with decent public transport though.

None of us had much money or room so we had widen/flex the definition of ‘party’.

At 5 - 11 quite a lot of the kids had a class party where the mum bought in a bag of fruit and crisps from Asda. The kids loved it as it was a treat and the teachers were great and really understood the difficulties parents faced.

however I don’t know what was generally normal for the time as we all had disabled children in a unit attached to primary mainstream. So in that way none of us were governed by convention.

Ask whether the £5 is a deposit and more is expected?

I hate any idea of folk paying for a birthday meal, if you choose to invite you pay
!
kids or adults

I absolutely agree.

My point is only that I do think its cheeky to not include that pertinent info in the invitation

The worst thing about it is how she's just left it hanging there on 'deposit'. What are the actual plans? Do you have to pay more? Do you get to choose the pizza for your kid if that's the only food option? This would irritate the fuck out of me, making people go back and forth and make it much more involved than it needs to be. The steps should be receive party invite, accept, source gift, turn up. Nobody's got time for this shit.

Wait what? Deposits are non-refundable, that's the point of taking a deposit isn't it?
Deposit is paid upfront as a partial payment to book the kid's place in. I'd be more concerned that OP'll be invoiced extra after the party if they did attend.

It’s not normal, but 1) if its a deposit, not a payment, will it be returned to you? 2) maybe previous experience has taught her people are fecking flakey, and either nobody responds to the invite OR kids don’t turn up OR they bring uninvited siblings to join in. At least this way she has an idea of numbers! I can see more people doing this in the future, just ask if you will get the deposit back, if she says no, cool that’s the birthday present sorted. If she says yes, you know it’s about numbers!

Not normal! They shouldn’t host if they can’t afford but I guess I’d feel bad for the child if mine didn’t go!

I agree. Judging by everyone’s reaction on here, I imagine this hasn’t gone down well
with the other parents. I don’t think I would personally be quite so put out by it. I normally give cash in a card anyway and see that as my contribution to the party and for the parents to do what they want with.

Someone’s throwing a birthday party that they can’t afford.

Definitely not normal. The party host pays for kids parties. I have organised and been to a fair few parties never charged anyone and never been asked.

Dc2 is actually having a birthday party in a couple of weeks its averaging £14 a head including pizza but I am paying for it for all invited kids. I won't be paying for uninvited siblings that turn up at the trampoline place although if there is spare food they are welcome to have some.

Never heard of this! Ever. Parents pay for the party and my kids have been to ones where they have activities or are at a centre and those that are in a park or in the beach or in a house and costs little.
kids don’t care, as long as there’s some rubbish food and sweets!