To wonder if charging people to attend a party is normal?

Are you sure that it isn't a scam?
Don't send any money; just bring cash on day in case it wasn't a scam..

But there was a thread on here from a bride where people agreed she should be asking her flakey friends to pay a deposit for their wedding meal in case they didn't turn up. Surely this is no different? It's people who are saying yes to something going to the cost and time of organising everything and then people not turning up.
There was another thread where someone had catered a bouncy castle party at a community hall for their child and out of 30 yeses to the invite only 4 turned up and she was praised for sending invoices for the wasted food etc to the 26 parents whose kids didn't turn up. Surely asking for a refundable deposit is no different?

May have already been suggested, but playing Devils Advocate, the use of deposit makes me wonder if you pay and then turn up you'll get that back. Still very weird and not the norm.

Maybe this parent has hosted parties before and people on the day have just decided not to turn up? Because regardless of whether it's papa John's pizza or cheap Aldi pizza it's still a cost to the host, that is people weren't flakey could go to extra gifts or a special day out for their child.
Maybe by taking a deposit for the food she thinks it'll guarantee people turn up - or maybe she doesn't want the money at all but is looking to weed out the flakes before buying food!

Oh, I completely agree that it's rude to accept an invitation and then not turn up - unless genuinely incapacitated by illness etc.

But I still don't think the host charging is a reasonable response to this. I think it's just one of the costs of hosting that you accept when you decide to host.

Honestly I think it's more rude to accept an invite and then to decide on the day that you just can't be bothered!
And even if it's just cheap pizzas, sandwiches whatever it's still wasting the hosts money by not turning up.
And in my case I made it known to the parents beforehand that I needed to know for definite if they were going as I needed to pay for each child, their skates and skate aid in advance!
In fact the girl who didn't know an ice rink would be cold actually had her party there a few months later and in the playground the next morning the mum was complaining about the amount of no-shows they'd had and the money she'd wasted.
As I said maybe if people started taking a small payment from parents that they'd get back if they turned up it would stop people from taking the piss and saying they'll be going but then deciding on the day they just can't be bothered?

Don't order papa johns! Just go to Aldi and not expect parents to pay.

A deposit would imply that's only part of the cost of the pizza so that needs to be clarified.
I think it's not on though. If they can't afford it they should host a smaller party.

I wouldn't go and would be thinking about whether I want to continue this friendship. This just seems like someone who is going to be a difficult person to get on with.

I've never heard of this and if you can't afford food you don't have a party.
Mind you, I was invited to a friend's house for afternoon tea and when we'd finished she asked me and the other guests to pay for our food. I thought she was joking at first.

Absolutely not the norm but will become it if people just pay it instead of saying no.

I've never heard of this and if you can't afford food you don't have a party.
Mind you, I was invited to a friend's house for afternoon tea and when we'd finished she asked me and the other guests to pay for our food. I thought she was joking at first.

Definitely not normal. In the past when hosting I've had a mum offer to bring some food for her daughter as she had a dairy allergy, but apart from that I wouldn't dream of asking for a donation.

Then don’t get them papa johns … ridiculous

Then don’t get papa johns 🙄🤣

Wow there are a lot of mean people on here. It's five pounds. Maybe this is the only way she can afford to give her kid a party. Don't text her and tell her you're not going because of the fiver as some have suggested that is awful

But the money isn’t towards the party, the child is having a party, this is towards an unnecessary food delivery.

Maybe it's to ensure people turn up if they say they will, or don't forget to rsvp but turn up anyway/bring siblings and expect them to be fed? It's very odd though and not something I've seen before.

But this isn’t for the party, it’s for a food delivery which is unnecessary anyway.

Yes but you can get pizza a lot cheaper than a papa johns delivery without having to then charge people.

Well, you've not lived! 😂 The year I took VR from teaching, I did a whole class party in a village hall with a Dominoes delivery. I was a Food/Textiles teacher so we did Easter crafts (birthday was in April,) some games and then my then DH popped out to Dominoes and picked up pizzas for everyone. Worked out much cheaper than the soft play/pizza express parties we'd usually had.

In answer to your question OP, no, it's not normal and actually quite cheeky. It's a bit like those people who charge you for going to their (usually quite tacky) wedding. I'd politely decline on this one.

Also deposit indicates there will be a follow up bill.....

If you go you normalise this behaviour.

Exactly … just stick some pizzas from the supermarket in the oven with a couple of sausage rolls … kids don’t care anyway!

It's not something I've ever come across and my youngest is still of party age.

However, I do think it's relatively simple and in your shoes and I wanted my child to attend the party, I'd send £5. I wouldn't need to know the reason for this, it's none of my business - they could have had an unexpected bill, they might have has lots of children not turn up to previous parties but, at the end of the day, not my business.

If I was so hell bent on not paying £5, I'd decline the invite.