To wonder if charging people to attend a party is normal?

That's still an odd thing to do, handing back fivers to parents when they arrive.

A deposit might mean you get the £5 back when your child attends. Maybe this is her way of ensuring all the children come if she orders lots of pizzas and there are lots of no shows. I might be being optimistic though 😆

Say 'great, be there will bells on. Oh and I'll do the after party... it's going to be £20 each + £1 for cloakroom'

No, it's not normal but in school I went to a 16th birthday party where we were all charged £2.50 at the door and the entertainment was a phone connected to speakers, and the food was some buffet food on the family dining room table. We had to bring our own drinks. Still don't know what the 2.50 was for

ManteesRock - both of those thing are equally tacky and technically not legal so make the petty person doing it look utterly ridiculous.

You cannot invite someone to a party then create a non-agreed contract and attempt to charge money regardless of if the show up or not. That would be known as a scam.

Mmm, it's definitely odd. But if your DD already knows about the party and is excited, I would probably still go. Don't start a separate WhatsApp group to talk about it, that's incredibly devisive. Chalk it up to experience and decline next year's invite if you get one.

Embarrassing for them.

You can have a party for virtually any budget but you have to feed/water your guests with in that budget. Even if thats just cordial, cheap homemade sandwiches and no brand crisps.

There is utterly no reason to be ordering each child an individual pizza from a large take away chain place, I wouldn't even do that for an adult party due to the costs never mind kids who might take 2 bites and wander off.

Kids mini pizzas are 58p is Asda for margarita and 60p for ham if they really want pizzas.

Very tacky to ask for money to attend a party!

They should just host the party they can afford.

However it would also be very tacky to start a group of all the other mums to gossip about how tacky the birthday mum is….

I've paid a bit towards a kids party before. I wouldn't have a problem with it. Time's are hard, money is tight, if the parents can't afford it, they can't afford it.

That’s just the risk you take, you can’t order “expensive” pizza then ask the party goer’s to pay for it, get a cheaper pizza, once they’re fed who cares but asking parents to pay for a party YOU are hosting is bloody rude AF & also extremely stingy if you’re willing to ask people for money for YOUR child’s party that YOU choose to have!! 😂😂

I wouldn’t do group chat but I would ask a few others what their take is on it, it is weird, if you’re planning on getting a gift or cash in card of say £10 I’d put £5 in the card instead and pay the £5 & speak to the other parents about their plans, also is that all she’s asking or is it more on arrival, saying that now when she says deposit maybe it’s refundable when your child arrives and she’s taking it so as not to be out of pocket if kids don’t attend and she’s too much pizza and she’s out of pocket over it. Reply back and ask her is it a refundable deposit just to guarantee the child attends as you’ve ever had to pay towards party food before so you’re a little confused. Me personally, I’m typically the one who just acts stupid but will text back and ask why as it’s usually the host provides the food when they invite kids to party 😂 That’s why I’m typically the one bitched about but truth is the rest are all thinking the same but won’t speak up 😂😂

Very odd. I think I'd suddenly realise I was double booked...

You really don't want to get involved in that nonsense. If everyone else drops out you'll end up with a huge bill because this is only the deposit.

I would just say "Oh I am really sorry. I realise we are actually busy that day so we won't be able to come after all. Hope xxx has a great time!"

I definitely would not do this. It will be screen shot and sent back to the host/ess as fast as you can say ‘WhatsApp’ and you’ll be tarred as the kind of woman who speaks behind backs.
The host/ess would then feel totally cr@ppy about his/herself so it will cause no end of upset.

Bring it up casually as the school gate to gage people’s opinions: ‘Who is going to X’s party?’

Maybe she’s asking for a deposit by way of ensuring people attend on the day? Which will be very controlling and contrived…and still frugal.

It is terribly crass and bad manners but perhaps pay so your kid can have a couple of hours of fun and just give a token gift, like a colouring book and cheap pens.

This wouldn’t bother me.

This is really weird - charging for food at a party?! 🤨

I wouldn't set up a separate group chat for other parents, just in case the hosts get wind of it - this may cause more trouble than it is worth. I would just have a quiet word with a couple of the other parents to gauge their response to this whole charging malarkey.

My three DC have all had various parties over the years, ranging from ones at home with a few friends, to hiring somewhere and paying for the catering and entertainment to be provided.

If money is an issue for the parents, they really should have planned this party better, as opposed to charging parents to bring their child and eat.

If money is not an issue, they are clearly tight fisted CF's and I would give them a swerve in the future!

No it's not normal at all and it is a odd. But I wouldn't be so quick to judge. Is the family strapped for cash and mum is trying to give her child a party? Is the mum just not well versed in party etiquette?

Obviously there's a chance she's just being a CF. But I'd try to understand why before jumping to CF.

That’s insane. I wouldn’t be going

I find this really odd. I went to a party in a hall of dcs friend in reception, family very clearly struggling for cash and they didnt even charge.
I wouldnt set up a group chat about her though, either you want to pay or you don't. Don't drag others into it and be a gossip.

Meant to add my reason for being so cynical.

£5 deposit suggests the cost per child will be much more on the day. Without a fixed price its giving her license to charge whatever.🤨

For those kinder souls than me suggesting the deposit may just be to ensure everyone turns up and refundable when they do, I strongly feel she would have stated this if that was the case.

I didn't see the wedding thread, but I agree it's no different - it sounds equally rude.

As for sending invoices to the parents who didn't attend a kids' party? Well, I suppose it would make the point, but it would also make you look a bit of a twat.

It is undoubtedly rude to accept an invitation and then not turn up, but personally, I think you have to accept this risk as a host. Or only invite people who you trust not to let you down.

I wonder if they've had issues before with people just not showing up and then no show children being catered for. So maybe its to try and prevent that. Why not just ask the mum directly. I think creating a WhatsApp group with some mums to discuss another mum is a bit shitty to be honest and could come across badly if it gets back to the party mum. Why not just ask her directly if it's a deposit does that mean there's an additional cost on the day or how is it all working as you haven't come across this before. She may tell you you'll get your fiver back when your kid turns up who knows.

I wonder if it’s to assure that the people who say they are attending do actually attend and if they don’t then at least she isn’t out of pocket for ordering the food that will be wasted. She may refund any payments on the day of the party to the people that go to the party. So many people nowadays seem to rsvp to say they will attend and then just not bother and it is so rude and puts the host out of pocket.

if it is just a case of asking people to pay so that she doesn’t have to foot the bill then that is a bit odd and not something I’ve come across but if it is the only way she can afford to throw a party for her kid I would feel a bit miserly not to pay if I can afford to.

Sorry just reading through the thread at present so don't know if anyone else has suggested this
but I would definitely be declining the invitation.

Call me cynical and tight - 😁 - but methinks mummy is going to make a profit from this "Party". 🤨