To wonder if charging people to attend a party is normal?

You cook the pizzas before, have you literally never been to a kids party before? Or does Tarquin only get invited exclusive hire package parties with gourmet chefs working in their own restaurant kitchens.

Strange, people have managed this all my life despite living in a poor area and virtually no one driving before the 2000s (hell, in my old town I still dont know anyone with a car). Even many weddings where hosted in the same cold buffet in the local hall/pub room format with everyone piling on the bus with arms full off stuff to be moved.

Its hilarious that its always 'better off' people who plead poverty, have ZERO basic problem solving skills and feel entitled to better option than they can afford.

Imagine thinking charging your guests money is less tacky than just 'slumming it' by doing a cheaper option you can afford.

Proper 'Choosey Begger' shit.

My thought is that people might decide to pay but then not bring a gift. Poor kid.

If you can't afford a party without charging guests, what's wrong with inviting a few friends instead?

My parents would have been mortified asking for money.

It isn't far fetched at all.

From what OP said, she didn't sound demanding and people are capable of saying no.

Reply and say "Money's a bit tight this month and I hadn't expected we'd need to pay for our own food as well as bring a gift. We'll bring our own pizza seeing as the supermarket ones are only a couple of quid. Anyone else interested on doing the same?"

That’s far fetched and still no excuse to be calling prospective guests to demand money.

Then her kid doesn’t get a party. Invite a friend for a fun cheap dinner of pancakes.

Charging guests for hospitality is grim.

They may just be having a laaarrrrffff.
Sounds like a scam to me so someone can trouser the deposit money.

Report them if you are worried.

I think you would be doing them a favour by pointing out that it isn't usual to ask for financial contributions to a party and that a lot of people will probably decline the invitation.

I feel sorry for the birthday child here.

Then do sandwiches? Much cheaper.

No i have never been asked to pay at a party. I would decline on principle.

Use it instead of buying a birthday present or buy a cheaper birthday present
Say DC doesn't like pizza and ask about bringing a packed lunch
Ask if you'll get the deposit back/what exactly is the deposit for
Don't go

Quite a few options.

The thing is what of those that can’t afford it

The poor woman is probably struggling with the cost of living and doesn’t want to disappoint her child. Of course you shouldn’t set up a group chat to discuss her

I’d pay a fiver for a lunch castle!

I have a friend who would charge for a party.
She works out how much it will cost her…
Then decides to do nothing or ask for money.
But will come to your party & eat everything!

I’ve got 3 DC and I’ve never been asked to pay anything towards a kids party that they’ve been invited to.

It’s pretty odd but I’m going to guess there’s a back story to it. Perhaps they’ve had parties before where they’ve paid a lot and someone didn’t show, and want to make sure people do attend. Do you know if it’s a refundable deposit? Also too it might be considered as an alternative to a present or you could just pay a lot less for a present.

Personally I’ve never known anyone to request a deposit for a child’s birthday party (different for adult birthday dinners where everyone pays their own meal and maybe doesn’t bring a present or a token item). But… having been burnt myself and paying out and having several no shows at a party, at considerable expense, I don’t blame them and a fiver isn’t unreasonable.

I’d clarify whether you get the deposit back?!

very strange!! Never had this before.

I know your child is in reception but surely you know there is no need for a WhatsApp. You walk into the playground and find the group of mums having a whispered conversation about the mad bat who asked them to pay to attend a party.

Properly weird and not typical, no.

I would pay it though as it’s a fiver for kids to have fun.

party is life at that age. Even at 8 my son lives for a birthday party.

Do you think she’s asking for a deposit to ensure that people turn up and don’t flake last minute? That seems like a good idea if you then get the deposit back before the party finishes.

In your shoes, I’d ask her to clarify what the deposit covers and if it’s refundable etc. as you’ve never been asked to pay a deposit for a children’s birthday party before.

Firstly to clarify, this is not something I would ever do!
But... I can kind of see why she would want to, as at that age they normally invite the whole class and lots will either not RSVP or say yes and never turn up. Asking for money allows her to know how many people are genuinely intending on turning up. Can't imagine why that is such a problem for a party in a hall though, definitely annoying if it is a party where you have to prepay per person.
Personally I'd just stick to cheap party food from Iceland or whatever and if more or less people turn up than expected then it's not a huge deal.
But whatever the reason, it's really cheeky! I've often taken DC's friends with us to do activities and will never accept any money towards it as I factor in paying for them and if I can't afford it, we don't take them!

I assume you are talking about a children's party? I wouldn't expect to pay if my child has been invited.
I would say that if the parent can't afford a pizza party in a hall, then a simple party at home would be the answer.
I have never done any of my children's parties at another venue as I can't afford to.
I only ever had complaints once - dd's 16th Birthday. I didn't organise games. You would have thought the world had ended. 17th Birthday and I'm organising games again!
Often get asked by friends of my children whether there is going to be a party and can they come. They all prefer it to going to a hall with bouncy castle/ clown/ magician/ disco.

That’s completely shameful. I’d be declining.

Not normal at all. We took 8 boys to pizza hut one year, we paid. Been to at least a billion birthday parties never paid for any of them

They may not have a kitchen available at the venue to cook supermarket pizzas. They may also struggle with transporting sandwiches and other party food if they don't drive so takeaway pizza might be the easiest option for them.