To wonder if charging people to attend a party is normal?

I would just pay the £5 and if you must then take it off the value of the present. If it’s a full class party then I wouldn’t care. It’s nice to invite the full class and to be fair even though I wouldn’t do it and it isn’t the norm then who really cares. I would probably have a laugh with my closest mum, raise eyebrows and totally forget about it

I agree with RosesAndHellebores - peculiar but also a bit sad. I would try to be charitable towards her unless you have an actual reason not to be. Perhaps she has never organised a big party before and doesn't understand what is the done thing? Lots of people don't do 'friends' parties before their child starts school. Or perhaps the hall and bouncy castle is already a financial stretch for her but she doesn't want her child not to have a proper party? Your DC won't eat more than 2 slices of pizza so £5 each will absolutely cover it. If you can afford to I would just suck it up for the sake of the birthday child. If you want clarification that £5 is the total cost then message directly rather than start a group which will quickly descend into criticising her.

it might well not be normal, but a bit bonkers to stop your own kid having fun, and the birthday child, for the sake of a fiver.

so, not normal, but maybe they’re hard up, who knows.

id just pay it and not think anything more of it.

It’s not anything I’ve experienced. Perhaps they haven’t got much money, I’d just pay it for the sake of the child so they get a party.

I would not go

Not normal in my experience, but as PP said above, maybe she promised a party but can't afford it, or just is otherwise clueless. I had people who never responded to dd's bday invitations, messaging 30 mins before to ask what time I was collecting their child! As already said, does your child want to go, and can you afford the £5 easily. And take if from there. Bitching about it with the other parents is not nice.

This is completely out of order. Host pay for the party & food, never had this either.
I'd reply back and say sorry we won't be attending as I didn't realise I would have to pay for it.

The norm is that everyone puts on a party for their children’s friends in line with what they can afford. I think I would decline the invitation,
or I suppose pay the cash but not bring a gift.

Is it normal? No. Is it a reason for everyone to be saying to gleefully cancel, snigger at her or bitch with other mums? No.

Shes a human being. She either doesn’t know the expectations or can’t afford to pay or something else. Maybe she’s from another culture that does things differently.

If you can’t afford it tell her. If you can, pay so your kid can have fun. Even mention to her it was an unusual way of doing things if you must.

But please stop clutching your pearls over mums audacity.

It’s weird and not normal. I’d feel like declining the invitation on principle tbh - “sorry, I had thought you were inviting my child to a birthday party but I don’t have the budget to contribute towards the costs for a party that isn’t their own, so will have to decline. Hope your child has a lovely time!”

Very strange. Not heard of this before and I have attended more than my fair share of kids parties!

I would be tempted to message back don’t worry about pizza for sittingonit junior they are not keen on pizza and see what the mum replies 😂

I would message back and ask if there is a cost for attending the party. If she says yes thn just say that unfortunately your child won't be able to attend

Decline! Really weird

Not normal. Ridiculous in fact

4 kids later this has never happened. So odd! Probably would just let it go and give a tiny present. Unless this starts a whole trend in your class.. ... 🙄 good luck to her collecting all these fivers. She hasn't a clue.

I agree with this, everyone is being quite nasty without thinking about why the mum doesn't know how parties work

Is there a cultural difference that might explain it?

My dc are teens now but of all the varied parties they have been to I have never been charged for food or anything else. Very odd

Nope I have two kids now grown never been charged for a party! Between them they’ve been skating, dry ski slope, laser tag, go-karts, bowling, trampoline… never asked for money.

That is very strange. My kids have been to over a hundred parties between them and I have never experienced this.

The worst I experienced was a party where no food was provided, which I thought was very mean. (It was a well off family, and in their house, so no hire cost). I left early because my child was hungry.

I wouldn't pay to attend a party.

Not. Normal! I’d also want to ensure it’s only the one payment not more on the day. What being said, a £5 with no present to buy (because surely they don’t need one if they are charging) is still quite a cheap afternoon activity to tire out a kid so I’d consider it that way

I would text back and say ‘this doesn’t sound like my kind of party, thanks for the invite but I will not be going now. Good day’

It's peculiar but also a bit sad. Perhaps the mother wasn't well.parented and just doesn't know the rules. She'll soon find out when others invite her child to parties and there's no charge.

It's saddest for the innocent child who may have to suffer sniggering behind her back.

It's the child's party and it isn't the child's fault. I think I'd just pay the fiver and suck it up and chalk it to experience for the sakenof the little girl having a nice party to remember.

So odd!! Definitely ask more questions about fi al payment etc. I would be inclined to decline out of principle!!

Is it a group WhatsApp? If so, do what @FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren says.

With 4 Dc, I've never heard of such cheap fuckery. Have had a Dc invited to a place 3 hours away and then received a group WhatsApp less than a week before saying 'oh by the way, you all need to sort your own transport', I thought that was really odd.

Just to add, was recently my birthday and I wanted Papa Johns and guess who paid for my guests to eat...Me! My birthday, my guests, my payment!