To wonder if charging people to attend a party is normal?

Did the birthday picnic with frisbees and balloons happen in October/November?

It’s not normal, no. However, if my kid got on with their kid, I’d see a few quid as money well spent. If you’re hard up, don’t go, that’s perfectly reasonable too.

My kids are 13 and 10 now, never once have we been asked to contribute to a party. Likewise we’ve hosted many parties and would never have dreamt of asking for money. This is one of the bizarre things I’ve heard in a long time.

Very weird. If my dc really wanted to go I would pay and reduce the gift. If not I would make up an excuse. Can't stand CF.

I would just say ( no coming to The Party ) but I would make sure to do something with your Daughter/son

Not normal and totally cringe.

Or no money!

I thought this post was about Raves! But kids party, no! As another poster said, you have the party you can afford. When my child was 5 that was a picnic on the grass with some frisbees and balloons as that’s all I could afford. Kids had a great time. Crazy late stage capitalist stuff.

I’m going to be charitable here. Could it be anything to with the appalling lack of manners in this generation of parents whereby an invitation is sent out and only about 3/30 actually reply .. and then 20 turn up when they have catered for 5 ? A deposit might actually galvanise people into not deciding a better offer came up.. and at least give the host parent an idea on numbers - and then if they don’t appear - not wasting money on piles of uneaten food ? Just an idea . Happened at one of my DGC parties when she was 5.

She hasn’t said she’s going to charge for the pizza, she’s asked for a “deposit” whatever that means. Do you think she forked out loads for a party a previous year and had a load of no shows?! Do you think it’s just to confirm numbers? It’s pretty mysterious so maybe there’s a bit more to it!

It's for the CHILDREN that would be a bizarre response!

@SittingOnIt

no it's not 'normal' but I'd just pay it because my child would enjoy it and I wouldn't want the birthday child to miss out on their party.

id also get my child pick a present to take, no need to take the batshit behaviour out on the birthday child.

Just ask is the deposit refundable

It's probably to ensure people turn up.
They might be worried about parting with the money perhaps and all the waste etc if people don't bring their kids etc.
Never heard of it before though myself.

I'd just say 'no pizza thanks, we'll eat before we come'

No this is not normal!! The host of the party should be paying for the food and if they can't afford to just do cake and a drink.
Id probably decline the invite or say sorry you can't make it anymore. It's really cheeky! Also what do they mean by deposit? What will you get charged for on the day!!

Quite possibly this is her first experience hosting a party and she has got it a bit wrong, if you can afford the money and your child wants to attend then go. Otherwise decline. Don't set up a group chat to bitch about the mum.

I have extended family who charges for dinner parties. I don't go. It's ridiculous, as is this parent. If you can't afford it, don't host anything.

But definitely no to the group chat. No need for that.

If the family are well off I would be a bit put out but regardless , it's for a child's birthday who is probably very excited about it .
I would pay the fiver but give a smaller gift .

Please don't start a group chat to discuss !! How mean !

Not normal at all. Are they expecting you to pay more on the day as they are calling it a deposit? Or maybe you get it back if you turn up. Who knows.

Id pay it though if my DC wanted to go but I’d be spending less on the present.

Not normal at all as you’ve probably realised. I have attended loads of kid’s parties and never been charged. Also invited other kids to parties and I’ve never asked for payment. All turn up with a gift for the birthday child but that’s the only expense (and that’s really variable in terms of cost at that age depending on how well you know the child etc).

The word “deposit” suggests you’ll be charged more later! I would ask around and see what others think. It would be awful for the child if no one turned up! Is the child a good friend or is it a whole class party? If it is a whole class party they can get expensive, but as others have said if you cannot afford a party then don’t have one.

All parties that I have attended or invited, there has been party bags too. I guess you’re not getting one here!

Unless they’re really good friends, my initial thought would be to decline, but at the back of my mind, I’d be thinking about all those “no one came to my child’s party and they’re devastated” posts I’ve seen over the years. So I might go for the child’s sake. However I might clarify the full payment first! Find out if it’s going to be than £5 or more. Then

I’ve done two parties with food like that and the kids ate the crisps, veggies and popcorn and left the sandwiches. I have done two where I bought a couple of big Pizza Hut pizzas (not particularly expensive given it fed 25 kids) and cut them into squares, and the kids demolished them. Pizzas win I’m afraid!

My children are adults now but we were never asked to pay to attend a party.
The closest we got to this was a party at a girl’s home where all the attendees were expected to bring a plate of food.
The hosts were probably one of the most affluent in the village judging by their house and cars, but I just found it amusing.
I did reduce what I spent on the gift a little to help cover the cost of the food though.

Pizza and a party in a hall is hardly a luxury birthday party. If you can afford £5 for the pizza, I'd just pay it personally.

So weird. Our neighbours hold a Halloween party every year, and a couple of years ago they said they were always the ones to host (only because I don't think any of us would bother with Halloween otherwise!) at that time of year, so she was charging £10 per person.

Barely anyone - including us - went that year. They didn't charge again.

I thought it was so weird.. to charge people, but also a group of fully grown adults with no children celebrating Halloween anyway!

They always insist on costumes too. If we weren't next door and could get away with not going without falling out with them, we wouldn't go.

We're going next weekend..

Definitely don't start a group chat about it. Unless your kids are super best friends, I would say you are busy and can't attend - you can bet there will be other weird stuff going on around this party.