To think this is really unfair

I feel I’m falling short though, what do you say other than ‘yep, life’s not fair, suck it up and move on’. Is there anything more encouraging I can say?

You can tell him to stop focusing on what other people are doing and worry about himself.

Sorry thus has happened to your son, but lets be honest we would all do it for our own kids wouldn’t we?

Well unfortunately life is not fair
I will use my contacts to help DS get Summer work in the field he is interested in and also for any future employment. Its all about networking
I make no apology for it

Most young people have good jobs they got of their own accord? Well that’s not true is it? And most people wouldn’t engage in blatant nepotism, no.

It can be unfair, but I do think in my own experience & that of my friends these kind of situations are getting to be much less common. Hiring & interview processes, especially for big companies, involve so many hoops and steps that far more people are getting jobs based on what they know than who they know now.

I’d really encourage your son to put himself out there, especially if he has a certain industry in mind, do shadowing work, entry level roles, attend events etc just mingle and get his name out there a bit. My husband landed his job like this, he started with no connections whatsoever, PIL have barely ever worked nevermind had connections to pass on, he managed to get his foot in the door by forging his own connections. His company have recently taken on 2 new people who did the same thing, reached out on LinkedIn, attended the same events the company was attending etc.

The one I know is ‘It’s not what you know, it’s who you know’ but yours is also very true.

Of course it’s unfair but the old adage of it’s not what you know it’s who you are is true.

What type of career is he looking at? Is there any additional studying or volunteering that could help?

It's hard when they're starting out. My son did A levels but didn't want to go to Uni, he did a 2 year apprenticeship and is now in his final year of a degree apprenticeship. He was a bit lost with which way to go after school though.

Except it’s far more likely that nepotism will win out over hard work, just like how wealthy your parents are is the biggest factor influencing how wealthy you will become.

In my experience after 40 years in the workplace, hard work just generally leads to more hard work. It has relatively little impact on how successful you are.

I'd set out your own feelers on LinkedIn and encourage him to do the same. Unfortunately it does matter who you know (or who knows of you), but you can network to try and find a position that way even if you initially don't know anyone.

Ok .. just crack on with the obvious then, what are you wanting people to tell you?

Connections go a very long way, as does charisma and confidence. I'd say they are all more beneficial than getting good grades in many fields. Luck and being at the right place at the right time also plays a big part. I don't even know if I would term it unfair, it's just the way life is.

It is unfair but ultimately getting a job handed to you by a family member is often not a good thing. I’d be deeply concerned if I was a parent of the friend. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear in a year or two that your son is thriving while his friend hasn’t quite stepped up …

What’s with the sarky reply?

Life isn’t fair though is it. You both need to suck this one up and your son needs to find his own opportunities.

It’s not fair but like pp said, by working hard your son will do well eventually and this lad will probably not unless stuff changes,

Since when is life fair? Your son is in good health, is it fair there re kids the sane age in hospital diagnosed with cancer?

Going on about life being unfair is only going to harm yourself and the onrs you love. It's pointless. Your son still has many opportunities to enjoy a great career.

I don't agree with you OP. This uncle might have worked very hard without 'knowing anyone' and has done very well. One of the benefits is being able to support his nephew.

When your son manages to get a brilliant opportunity and could offer in the future a chance to a young person, don't you think he would prioritise his own children?

My son has a good job and he got it of his own accord. Most young people do.

Which field is he looking for?

A colleague I worked with years ago posted on Facebook looking for apprenticeship opportunities for her DS. DH has his own business in this field- I passed on the details to DH and her DS is now working for a colleague of his.

My point is you may well know someone who knows someone, it's worth putting feelers out!

I don’t think apprenticeships have ever been easy to come by unless you knew someone in the industry.

You will be doing some important parenting by modelling a good response -

It's ok to be disappointed.
Personal connections do matter: we are all responsible for our own reputation. Yes this boy's uncle may have secured him the apprenticeship but if he is useless he wont last long
Its not that finding something you can be good at (and enjoy) isnt important, but it isnt enough by itself to get you a job.

This isnt and wont be the only opportunity out there. Bitterness is a pretty useless mindset