Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have done this to his clothes?

232 replies

Dockerty · 22/10/2025 14:11

Bloke im seeing - first time he stayed at my house he had a shower and then left all his clothes (work uniform etc) folded (in a fashion) and piled up on the toilet. I went in to use the toilet, picked up his clothes and moved them into the bedroom.

Second time he stayed, he did the same thing so I went in to use the toilet, picked up his clothes and shouted of him to come and move them which he did.

3rd time - same thing - this time I didn’t pick them up, I just shouted of him to come and move them and asked him to stop doing this as I don’t want to be moving his clothes everytime I use the bathroom. He made a sarky “ooo ok boss” comment but moved them. I was pissed off and told him it’s a bit ridiculous that a grown man would leave his clothes like that for someone else to sort out! He said I was making a mountain out of a molehill.

So last night he stayed over again - same thing happened so this time I simply swiped the lot onto the floor, used the toilet and then got a shower myself. Accidentally on purpose stood on his clothes as I got out of the shower so they were wet.

An hour or so later he went to use the toilet and came back asking how his clothes got wet. I said they were on the floor. He said no they weren’t, they were on the toilet so I said yeah but then I needed to use the toilet so they ended up on the floor”.

He went in a full on mood about it saying it was petty and disrespectful and maybe he should treat my clothes the same way. I said he could - but he’d have to take them out of the drawer or wardrobe to do it which would be a bit weird.

so, who is BU, me or him?

OP posts:
RememberBeKindWithKaren · 22/10/2025 20:40

Charlize43 · 22/10/2025 19:07

This is MN so get a divorce!

Yes but don't forget you have to go NC first.

Wingingit73 · 22/10/2025 20:17

Not wotking

ReadingSoManyThreads · 22/10/2025 20:16

You're both being unreasonable.

Yes, it's irritating what he's doing, but shouting at him, swiping them onto the floor then getting them wet was just immature.

At least he's not leaving them strewn all over the floor like a slob would.

Cucy · 22/10/2025 20:14

pinkyredrose · 22/10/2025 18:41

No it's disrespectful to not remove them when asked several times and then get in a mood and be sarcastic.

She asked him to remove them from the toilet on 2 occasions and he did straight away both times.

He got in a mood because she’s thrown his clothes on the floor and walked all over them.

If a man did that to my clothes I would bd raging.

NamelessNancy · 22/10/2025 20:14

Fucking hell, some people have a very low bar for men don't they?

Zucker · 22/10/2025 20:09

He's crap in bed, he's broke and lives with his mum (wants you to clean up his clothes after his shower like his mummy does too)
The must be someone better than this for you OP?

Anxietybummer · 22/10/2025 19:54

Dockerty · 22/10/2025 15:43

Hardly a crime, no. But we have 1 toilet in this house, am I meant to sort out his clothes for him everytime I need to use the toilet?

No, but you could have put them on the floor and not trampled on them 😳

Seriously, it’s early days and it’s not working out so just leave him and move on.

LlynTegid · 22/10/2025 19:50

YABU for continuing the relationship.

ElectoralControversy · 22/10/2025 19:38

The FOURTH time he left his clothes on the ONLY toilet in the house?

You might have tipped over to being unreasonable if you'd shat on them, but you were very restrained IMO - and my household standards are at the bottom of any MN discussion, I'm not a neat freak by any means

ComfortFoodCafe · 22/10/2025 19:37

Look if your aruging like this so early on, its not going to work. Ever.

Duckswaddle · 22/10/2025 19:36

And you’re still seeing him because…?

Rosscameasdoody · 22/10/2025 19:29

MaryBeardsShoes · 22/10/2025 19:25

You should take up gymnastics with a leap like that.

To be fair it’s bloody petty to chuck his clothes on the floor knowing you’re about to shower, and then to go out of your way to make sure they were wet. A simple ‘l’ve asked you twice before, don’t leave your clothes on the toilet seat’ would have sufficed.

MaryBeardsShoes · 22/10/2025 19:25

StrawberryJangle · 22/10/2025 15:56

I sense he left them there because your behaviour suggests he'd be wrong wherever he left them. I bet he was on eggshells.

You should take up gymnastics with a leap like that.

Balloonhearts · 22/10/2025 19:16

Dump him. He basically wants to date his mother. I don't want to date someone I basically have to parent and clean up after.

TheFiveLakes · 22/10/2025 19:16

Charlize43 · 22/10/2025 19:07

This is MN so get a divorce!

She'd have to get married first - this is a new relationship.

Terrytheweasel · 22/10/2025 19:15

Starlight1984 · 22/10/2025 14:53

I can't believe so many people have voted YANBU?!?!

Also, you sound like you can't stand the man so not really sure why you're even dating him?

I know mental right. I mean, he doesn’t exactly sound like a catch but throwing his clothes on the floor and shouted at him 🤣 a few dates in!

Sassylovesbooks · 22/10/2025 19:13

Why on earth would anyone pile up clothes on the toilet lid????!!!! The mind boggles!! If he lives by himself, and does this at home, then the only person he's going to annoy is himself. However, when staying in someone else's home, when you're not the only person needing to use the bathroom, it's very annoying!! I don't blame you for being miffed. It's a very odd habit.

Rosscameasdoody · 22/10/2025 19:13

Grow up. You’re both childish and clearly not suited so dump him and move on.

Charlize43 · 22/10/2025 19:07

This is MN so get a divorce!

Nandina · 22/10/2025 19:03

He has no manners so dump him. Everyone should leave a bathroom ready for the next person to use.

pinkyredrose · 22/10/2025 18:57

PrincessofWells · 22/10/2025 18:50

I hope the sex is good . . .

She said it was crap

WeeGeeBored · 22/10/2025 18:55

myopinionis · 22/10/2025 17:02

For those who think the OP was unreasonable, what do they think the OP should have done, and do in future?

She'd already tried quietly moving the clothes herself.
She'd already asked him nicely.
She'd already asked more aggressively.

I know it seems like a minor issue, but what is the way forward? Because the only obvious alternative is to accept the behaviour and move his clothes yourself every time. Forever.

What the hell does he think the toilet is for? Is he not going to be irritated when he wants to use it and there are clothes on top?

Nope. The alternative is to ltb.

unsync · 22/10/2025 18:53

Bin him. You've told him your boundary, he's disrespecting it.

I threw all my then H's clothes out the window into a skip in the yard below when he wouldn't take them with him after we split.

ThatCyanCat · 22/10/2025 18:53

Dockerty · 22/10/2025 16:54

He hasn’t, he lives with his mum (I know)

Oh good God.

Does he have bunkbeds??

PrincessofWells · 22/10/2025 18:50

I hope the sex is good . . .

Swipe left for the next trending thread