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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have done this to his clothes?

232 replies

Dockerty · 22/10/2025 14:11

Bloke im seeing - first time he stayed at my house he had a shower and then left all his clothes (work uniform etc) folded (in a fashion) and piled up on the toilet. I went in to use the toilet, picked up his clothes and moved them into the bedroom.

Second time he stayed, he did the same thing so I went in to use the toilet, picked up his clothes and shouted of him to come and move them which he did.

3rd time - same thing - this time I didn’t pick them up, I just shouted of him to come and move them and asked him to stop doing this as I don’t want to be moving his clothes everytime I use the bathroom. He made a sarky “ooo ok boss” comment but moved them. I was pissed off and told him it’s a bit ridiculous that a grown man would leave his clothes like that for someone else to sort out! He said I was making a mountain out of a molehill.

So last night he stayed over again - same thing happened so this time I simply swiped the lot onto the floor, used the toilet and then got a shower myself. Accidentally on purpose stood on his clothes as I got out of the shower so they were wet.

An hour or so later he went to use the toilet and came back asking how his clothes got wet. I said they were on the floor. He said no they weren’t, they were on the toilet so I said yeah but then I needed to use the toilet so they ended up on the floor”.

He went in a full on mood about it saying it was petty and disrespectful and maybe he should treat my clothes the same way. I said he could - but he’d have to take them out of the drawer or wardrobe to do it which would be a bit weird.

so, who is BU, me or him?

OP posts:
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GooseberryGreen · 21/12/2025 09:23

There are so many women on this thread with subterranean standards. He kept on with an annoying habit after she asked him several times to stop and then he sulked.

The13thFairy · 26/10/2025 08:48

One morning a man was getting dressed after our first night together. He had brought with him a clean shirt - he gestured to the one he'd left on the floor and asked if it was ok if he left it. I said of course. When he got out of bed after the second night together, he said, "Oh, that shirt I left?" and I said, "It's where you left it." Because it was - and the look he gave me! He'd assumed I'd wash and iron it. As if! Never saw him again - no loss.

StrawberryJangle · 25/10/2025 21:54

MaryBeardsShoes · 22/10/2025 19:25

You should take up gymnastics with a leap like that.

He's folded them and left them in a place and in a pile that can easily be moved.
He hasn't left them strewn and asked her to wash them when she gets a chance.

I got my BAGA 3 in the 80s. My gymnastics career ended at that level.

I'm grateful for your encouragement and support though.

Throwmoneyatit · 24/10/2025 11:18

This thread is nuts 😂

You're quite clearly both going to irritate the life out of each other.

Taking the sex of the two people out of the equation, I couldn't live with either of these. Both seem highly annoying.

Dragonfly97 · 24/10/2025 09:48

Viviennemary · 22/10/2025 14:33

He's untidy you aren't. It was mean and disrespectful to stand on his clothes. Good luck with finding somebody who comes up to your expectations. Trained poodle maybe.

I don't think it's unreasonable for him to not leave his clothes in the bathroom! Who does that?! He sounds a bit thick as well as idle, I'd dump him. He needs to grow up.

If more women had a higher bar where these men are concerned, there'd be a lot less unhappy women. I think OP is doing the right thing.

TwinklySquid · 24/10/2025 07:58

At this stage in the relationship, he should still be in “perfect” mode. He’s clearly not and this sort of thing will only get worse.

Chuck him!

CherryRipe1 · 24/10/2025 06:43

My partner used to do this, he has ADHD and just forgets what he's doing sometimes. It took some time & the occasional thing gets left behind but he's mostly been trained not to now.

Kitterkitkat · 24/10/2025 04:19

From the thread title I thought it involved scissors!

@Dockerty if he's being this much of a nuisance it won't work out. I tried to help someone recently and left him to sleep but heard a crash and went into the bedroom. He'd fallen out of bed. Then it happened again and I was thinking 'what the fuck' and went in and moved the bedside chest of drawers out of the way.

This wasn't even in a romantic way I thought he was a house guest but I don't like thrashing around and knocking my furniture over. You get exasperated. Yes he should clear up his clothes it's not your responsibility.

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 24/10/2025 04:04

If he does it again. After you have used the toilet a no d flushed it. Throw his clothes into the toilet and say you were half asleep and went into bathroom.

And must have accidentally opened the toilet lid and knocked them into the toilet.

TOUGH!!!

JayJayj · 23/10/2025 22:31

How annoying. How is it disrespectful of you but can’t see the disrespect that he has done?????

I would say just end it. Things will only get worse the longer you are together and if you ever move in together.

ManchesterGirl2 · 23/10/2025 21:39

Just break up. If his communication and respect for your wishes is so bad that you're getting into petty fights, better to just find someone else. Don't stay with someone you dislike and then feel justified in behaving badly.

Pessismistic · 23/10/2025 21:36

Dockerty · 22/10/2025 14:16

No and no to both those questions. Very much the opposite on both

Why are you even with him he’s not listening or respecting you. His mum must collect them off the toilet once he’s finished in the bathroom you’re not compatible get rid. Don’t keep letting him stay over.

Sam9769 · 23/10/2025 21:32

Dump!

Spinmerightroundbaby · 23/10/2025 21:28

Dockerty · 22/10/2025 14:11

Bloke im seeing - first time he stayed at my house he had a shower and then left all his clothes (work uniform etc) folded (in a fashion) and piled up on the toilet. I went in to use the toilet, picked up his clothes and moved them into the bedroom.

Second time he stayed, he did the same thing so I went in to use the toilet, picked up his clothes and shouted of him to come and move them which he did.

3rd time - same thing - this time I didn’t pick them up, I just shouted of him to come and move them and asked him to stop doing this as I don’t want to be moving his clothes everytime I use the bathroom. He made a sarky “ooo ok boss” comment but moved them. I was pissed off and told him it’s a bit ridiculous that a grown man would leave his clothes like that for someone else to sort out! He said I was making a mountain out of a molehill.

So last night he stayed over again - same thing happened so this time I simply swiped the lot onto the floor, used the toilet and then got a shower myself. Accidentally on purpose stood on his clothes as I got out of the shower so they were wet.

An hour or so later he went to use the toilet and came back asking how his clothes got wet. I said they were on the floor. He said no they weren’t, they were on the toilet so I said yeah but then I needed to use the toilet so they ended up on the floor”.

He went in a full on mood about it saying it was petty and disrespectful and maybe he should treat my clothes the same way. I said he could - but he’d have to take them out of the drawer or wardrobe to do it which would be a bit weird.

so, who is BU, me or him?

Uggghh, men! This would annoy me too. Sounds like you handled it the right way. Ignored it the first time and treated it as a one off, raised it politely, then not so politely. Honestly it doesn’t bode well that you have to go nuclear for him to respond to your requests. He will probably be like that in other regards too.

Oldwmn · 23/10/2025 19:46

Dockerty · 22/10/2025 14:11

Bloke im seeing - first time he stayed at my house he had a shower and then left all his clothes (work uniform etc) folded (in a fashion) and piled up on the toilet. I went in to use the toilet, picked up his clothes and moved them into the bedroom.

Second time he stayed, he did the same thing so I went in to use the toilet, picked up his clothes and shouted of him to come and move them which he did.

3rd time - same thing - this time I didn’t pick them up, I just shouted of him to come and move them and asked him to stop doing this as I don’t want to be moving his clothes everytime I use the bathroom. He made a sarky “ooo ok boss” comment but moved them. I was pissed off and told him it’s a bit ridiculous that a grown man would leave his clothes like that for someone else to sort out! He said I was making a mountain out of a molehill.

So last night he stayed over again - same thing happened so this time I simply swiped the lot onto the floor, used the toilet and then got a shower myself. Accidentally on purpose stood on his clothes as I got out of the shower so they were wet.

An hour or so later he went to use the toilet and came back asking how his clothes got wet. I said they were on the floor. He said no they weren’t, they were on the toilet so I said yeah but then I needed to use the toilet so they ended up on the floor”.

He went in a full on mood about it saying it was petty and disrespectful and maybe he should treat my clothes the same way. I said he could - but he’d have to take them out of the drawer or wardrobe to do it which would be a bit weird.

so, who is BU, me or him?

Chuck him

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/10/2025 19:45

Get rid. It doesn’t sound like he has any redeeming features!

Ladymeade · 23/10/2025 19:27

SkinnyOatFlatWhiteForMePlease · 22/10/2025 14:13

Honestly I would just stop seeing him.

Thought the same - doesn't sound like a "match made in heaven" tbf

AutumnCosy2025 · 23/10/2025 16:45

MotherTuckinGenius · 23/10/2025 16:04

@AutumnCosy2025my toilets lids are lovely and clean ta very much but I still wouldn’t store my clothing on top of one nor eat my dinner off them but you do you babes 👍

You're the one that said it was gross! 🙄🙄🙄

If your toilet isn't dirty, why is it 'gross'??

or were you just being ridiculously dramatic??

it's inconvenient, irritating, but not 'gross'

obviously I don't store my clothes on the toilet because I have more convenient options, but I have No issue with putting things in the lid because it's CLEAN & not gross.

but you do you babes.

🙄🙄

MotherTuckinGenius · 23/10/2025 16:04

@AutumnCosy2025my toilets lids are lovely and clean ta very much but I still wouldn’t store my clothing on top of one nor eat my dinner off them but you do you babes 👍

OhNineFiftyFour · 23/10/2025 10:22

NamelessNancy · 22/10/2025 20:14

Fucking hell, some people have a very low bar for men don't they?

It's practically subterranean. So depressing.

"The poor man has to keep putting his clothes on the toilet even after she's asked him three times not to, because OP is too scary."

LOL.

Meandmyguy · 23/10/2025 08:43

YodasHairyButt · 22/10/2025 16:16

Me 🤣 I’d have done the same thing.

Get him binned.

Another nut job.

BunnyLake · 23/10/2025 08:38

A relationship should bring out the best in people, not the worst. If you find you’re not liking who you are in this then it’s time to walk away and give yourself the chance to find something better.

CluelessAboutBiology · 22/10/2025 23:22

He’s lucky OP didn’t lift the toilet lid and drop his clothes in.

2Rebecca · 22/10/2025 21:50

YABU for giving him more than 2 chances. The third time he did this should have been the last.

mumoftwo99x · 22/10/2025 21:47

YANBU but I wouldn’t continue a relationship with a man I was having issues like this with so early on