If you don't consider life admin to be a thing...

“Life admin” doesn’t bother me as such but housework is a PITA. I find that more stressful than “life admin”. We’re all different I suppose.

I usually get through this quickly too.

Switch to First Direct.

I just hate the term 'life admin'. It's like the new grammatically incorrect term 'overwhelm', it's just insufferable and it annoys the shit out of me when people use it. I call them errands or jobs. They are boring and tiresome and I hate them.

I can't imagine ever saying that to anyone though. If I really needed to explain, I would just say sorry, I've got some stuff that I need to sort out, or something along those lines.

But I don't tend to cluster those tasks together in the way that you suggest. The kind of tasks that you mention are the type of thing that I might squeeze into my lunch hour or while I'm getting ready in the morning/in front of the telly at night etc. So I never have a whole afternoon or evening "doing life admin". Maybe that's why it feels to me like less of a thing?

but I AM acknowledging there's a lot to do.

I am also pointing out that your attitude towards it makes all the difference, You would have finished all the life admin of the week, possibly 2 weeks, in the time you are spending on this thread.

You don't include MN in your life admin, do you?

The people I see who complain the most about being "busy/ overwhelmed/ drowning in life admin" are also the ones who miraculously will have watched everything on Netflix, and are on internet all day. It's all relative.

I lived alone for a brief period and it felt endless....car insurance, home insurance, car tax, MOT, bills blah blah. I found it so stressful

Dunno but seriously impressed.

Yes!! 🙌 I rang at 9:15…popped in a few numbers and got through to an actual person, who then transferred me to the mortgage team. It is an Irish bank so I wonder does that make a difference?😅

For those with no or very few dc this probably isn’t a big deal, for everyone else it absorbs a huge amount of time - assuming you have an interesting life.

Due to work I only have one day a week to sort out these things so I do schedule time in for “life admin”. I call extras life admin ie hospital/dental, educational, car garage, banking stuff etc. Maybe people who have everyday all week to slot a little job in here and there don’t think it is but when you have to cram it all into a couple of hours then as far as I’m concerned it is.

Life admin is a thing and it depends hugely on people's lives. A single 20 something in a houseshare with bills included will have hardly any, but others will have a lot. I say I have catmin (insurance, jabs, flea, worming, catsitter for hols, bulk order food and litter etc), parentmin (medical appointments, finances, IT and "yes, that's a scam text, please delete") and unfortunately sadmin (sorting estate after death) because they all take a lot longer than my own life admin but yes it is a burden, it takes time and it falls unevenly when one sibling carries the load for elderly parents, one parent does all the life admin for children. I thankfully have a grateful aged parent which helps a lot. It is a lot in your situation, don't feel bad about that, it's just reality.

I think a lot of the time it depends on the school.

DC secondary was awful - you'd need five minute to work out which kid it was likely refering to as having more than one kid so putting year on e-mail didn't seem to ever occur to them - then deadlines changing or being very soon.

DC first primary was awful for homework but very good with letting you know about things coming up well in advance and kept dress up days to a minium. Second hardly had any homework but random cryptic texts/apss/e-mails and things needed for next day were common and once had three dress up days in one week - in half term with one a week already - and my kids would get upset if they weren't dressed right.

Mostly though it was endless barage not one off e-mails they made me stressed - with clubs and swim lessons and school stuff that felt overwhelming - but it was only a few years- then it passed.

Isn’t it just another way of saying “having your shit together?”

I think it becomes ‘admin’ when you’re constantly having to do it for someone else (other than your immediate household), as is the case with my MIL.

Ah yes I love this my Mam and Nan were always going ‘a message’ when I was little.

definitely agree with this, DH and I both work FT and are also studying for professional exams on top of these things so actually they aren't really a priority for either of us or given any kind of category other than must do now haha - they come in, they get done and they aren't really given much extra thought as we don't have any spare headspace for them, I can absolutely see how other people will give them much more thought and categorise them with a higher importance.

I would have said it is neither here nor there, but since my husband retired he has taken on so much of this (he always did his share before), that I notice a big and positive difference. I know now that it has an impact on the amount of headspace I have.

Yes as others have said, no problem you calling your jobs whatever you want, I guess it's more just a bit irritating when people act all martyrish and overburdened as though it's this enormous all consuming task when what they mean by 'life admin' is just the stuff everyone has to do and really doesn't need to take up a huge amount of time or mental energy unless you overcomplicate it hugely - things like online banking, paying bills, renewing insurances, buying/sending gifts and cards, booking and paying for activities or holiday accommodation is so easy nowadays, it can all be done online in seconds. I personally wouldn't count things like caring for elderly parents or managing a long term health condition, or undertaking a major house renovation or maintenance project as 'life admin' though, because (a) those are not universal experiences that everyone has to do regularly and (b) they go well beyond 'admin', they're stressful, emotional difficult things to do as well as being time consuming, tedious etc so not really 'life admin' in my book.

I think it comes up like that when one person feels like the only person who even thinks of needing to do it, let alone actually doing it. It's the dirty dishes next to the sink.

You got through to your bank in one minute? That's amazing!

I don't think anyone disputes that this stuff exists, only whether it's worth making a song and dance about.

I really like doing admin possibly because I'm a bit of a control freak, but mainly because it's quite satisfying to tick off a list of important but very easy tasks. Insurance renewed- tick, energy price comparison done- tick, Ocado order- tick, uni fees paid- tick. If only everything was so easy. I therefore do it all and DH does the stuff he is good at.

I can absolutely see how frustrating it must be if you're married to a lazy man who doesn't contribute but I'm not sure that putting the emphasis on admin/mental load really makes the point- rather the reverse, in fact.

Quite. Even if I saved everything up and only did it one night a year, I'd struggle to fill a whole evening with it.

Thank you. I think I was trying to say that but used too many words.