If you don't consider life admin to be a thing...

I think this is the point that's trying to be made by a lot of the posts commenting about "life admin".

Yes these are just things we all get on with as & when, we know which things need to be done and however often, arrange things in advance, do out lists for writing birthday & Christmas cards & getting gifts, organise the kids lunches & school outings etc.

The annoyance for some posters on MN comes with the fact that as a woman they are expected to do every single one of these things for themselves, the children, and often for their husband as well. Like the poster above, who's DH only ever packed his own holidays stuff & couldn't understand why it took her so long to do hers, the DCs, and general "family" things. Often the woman is expected to remember everyone's birthdays on both sides of the family, buy cards, buy gifts, write & send if necessary. They are the ones expected to arrange doctor's appointments for all, expected to plan meals & do the shopping list, always them buying the clothes & shoes for the DC, dealing with the school etc.

So it isn't so much having to do the things for themselves, it's having to think and act for everyone else in the family including another adult, & the unfairness of it.

I work in a computer based office job, 99% of what you mention is a 30 second job that gets done at work. My DP works in the NHS in a very much not office based role. For her these types of jobs are a nightmare and pile up until she has a long list to do in the evenings (I do as much as I cant but there are some things that I cant do)

how do you mentally 'label' (so to speak) things like banking and official correspondence?

In my head, these don't actually feel separate from mopping a floor or unloading the dishwasher; they're just another task on a mental to-do list. Just a thing that has to be done.

But if I was asked to categorise them separately, I'd just label them 'admin'. I don't really get why the 'life' part has to be added - it seems superfluous to me. We don't call cooking 'life cooking'.

But didn't you also use a butt plug, nipple clamps and have an under the stairs cupboard with your ex OP? I mean, if he wants to experiment based upon what you did with your ex...
Also, don't you have a fetish for whacking your partner with a hammer on his toes during foreplay? No pain, no gain right? And isn't enduring pain and suffering the best part of sex, right?
I would say to him, "let me get this right? Are you saying that you would like to hurt me and that you wre turned on by the thought?"

I don't even want to know which thread this was supposed to be on😂

I think admin takes up loads of time. And I’m not even including day to day stuff like direct debit.

This week:
someone hit our parked car. So I have to email, call their insurance, call garage for appointment, take car to get looked at, book second appointment to get fixed.

spent 45 mins on phone to hospital for Ds specialist being moved from one place to another.

ages on phone to book visa update

Phonecall with fil solicitor re probate/ house sale

had to call then go in person to local council to sign for garden bin size increase. Couldn’t do online.

ds parents evening had pre paperwork - 3 pages! To fill out.

Ordered cat food/ new kitchen bits, self employment taxes, banking - these were all expected but general and online so ok.

I also work, and some of these this had stupid times like only 9am-12 to call also, and had to try several times

The only reason these concepts exist is to explain to men that they're treating women like support humans.

Before kids, almost no-one feels them as a real burden. When you become a mother you reach a tipping point where you can't keep up - and it's at that point that you notice that not only is your male partner not doing 50% of the joint stuff, you're doing most of his personal stuff too.

As with so many things, having children is what makes women aware of what feminism really is or should be.

Before that, lots of us feel that sexism isn't really that much of an issue in Western societies any more. LOL.

I don’t give these things much thought as they are comparatively easy to when I first married. A bill would land on the mat, walk into town and pay it. Need insurance walk to insurance broker. Now it’s just pick up phone click.

pardon

I honestly just don't think dirty dishes, which realistically is a once a day job at least, is comparable to some of the once-every-six-months 3 minute tasks that people add to their Points Scoring lists.

I think it depends on what sorts of things need doing, and also what you share with your partner/husband. Like, christmas is a busy time of year for buying gifts, wrapping presents, organising family stuff, keeping on top of school events etc etc, and some would view this sort of thing as 'life admin', whereas others just class it as Christmas!

I always wonder what life admin really is, but then my partner does most of the bill sorting and organising of holidays and childcare, so I don't really feel the burden in all honesty. I do other things, like organise for the plumber to come out, or the decorator to give a quote etc, so it's fairly evenly split.

You seem to have more admin than most though. I don't really do much "banking" for instance

'Life Admin' is definitely a thing and requires a certain amount being set aside every so often (maybe four weekly), to deal with.

It has always existed and now it has a label which I, as someone who does not generally care for labels and the like, think is a very appropriate one. When I first saw it I knew exactly what it meant.

To be fair, I have had to call HMRC recently to deal with something for an elderly relative, and it did take ages to get through.

Personally, I wouldn't class caring for elderly relatives, including the administrative burden that often goes along with that, "life admin". Apart from anything else, none of that admin relates to my life!!!

Personally I don't like the term life admin as it just lumps a load of complete unrelated tasks of varying importance together.

For example dealing with your mums care home, making sure she's safe is an important and draining task. Changing energy supplier possibly needs doing but isn't usually urgent. Banking can usually be delayed until you've got time, and with banking apps takes no time. Complaining about poor service is unnecessary if you don't have time.

If you add in every tiny little task you do into that one great umbrella it's just creating a massive wad of 'task" which then becomes very difficult to manage, and seems overwhelming. Most little tasks I just do and don't really think about, usually when I'm watching TV in the evening or if I've got a minute on my lunch break.

Agreed if organised and decisive and in full possession of all the knowledge you need. There's follow through too though. Did gutter man come? Paying him by BACS probably.
Birthday presents for parents?

Because the majority of people on here make such a deal about it, as they do about many simple tasks, poor me, when in reality they're very simple.

I am someone who just gets things done and so is DH so I don’t see these things as some massive task. Kids needs a dentist appointment? Phone and make one. Dog needs his annual vaccines? Phone and make the appointment. School forms need filled in? Fill it in and pop it straight back in the school bag.

One of my DC had multiple health issues with lots of appointments so we get the appointment through and then check work diaries to see who can go then just go.

Both DC have out of school activities with endless emails, invoices, showcases to buy tickets for, new uniforms etc so I just action the stuff as it comes up.

Insurances are once a year. Holidays don’t take long to organise at all but do take lots of research (food allergies make holiday planning lots of fun) but I want to go on holiday so just do it when sitting waiting on the kids or on lunch at work or sitting in bed at night when I can’t sleep.

Banking - I don’t get what ‘banking’ people are constantly doing that takes so much time. I just look on the app every few days.

It isn’t ’life admin’ to me it’s just ‘life’.

I call HMRC regularly in my role as a Treasurer and never have a problem either getting through or with their helpfulness, in fact the advice I received when I first called them saved us money!

Definitely is real, I would also call it Adulting.

Commiserations as I know how hard care admin is tangled with Alzheimer's. Later comes Death Admin which is awful.

I agree with others that it depends on the life stage people are in.

I do handle most of the life admin in our marriage, I would say it's because I'm more detail oriented, hubby not so much. It's just something he doesn't notice really, stressful for him, whereas I'm good at it. He does handle car aspects though and other aspects that I don't need to worry about so it is like 75/25 split I would say.

Because this is MN, everything has to be a type of martyrdom, especially if it's in favour of the female! It's only on MN that I've ever seen the words 'life admin'.

I'm guessing your grandmother was Scottish? My family in Scotland always talked about "going for the messages" which included everything from buying groceries and kid's shoes, to doing banking, post office etc. Always got blank looks if I used the term when I lived in England. Now that I live in Canada it's "running errands."

My dealing with official correspondence is - open - skim read - put in a box.
Nothing really important comes via post anyway.

I think the eyrolls really do come on because some people on MN make it look like they change suppliers and insurance every month tbh...