Page 2 | To think this dream job is just sad.

Cucy · 2025-10-22T07:42:57+00:00

MN posted a link with a ‘dream job’ so of course I clicked it and when I saw the insane salary I read on. It just made me so sad. It feels like they’ve had children just to moulded them into what they think is the perfect person. They waited too long for the 5yo, so now they’re starting on the 1yo. Its like something out if a movie where babies are bred and moulded into a certain design. Why not let kids be kids and give them support and opportunities but let them choose their own path. AIBU to feel so sorry for kids like this? https://www.tes.com/jobs/vacancy/private-tutor-london-england-oxfordshire-2256768

TearsAndTeats · 22/10/2025 16:04

“Socially appropriate background”

povvos need not apply

SomethingInnocuousForNow · 22/10/2025 16:04

TheaBrandt1 · 22/10/2025 15:40

Teen Dd has barrelled effortlessly into these circles by being gorgeous, fun, great company and a good friend to the dd of an eminent family. They don’t care at all that she goes to a state school and isn’t one of them. So you don’t necessarily need to go to such a massive effort to infiltrate you can do so by accident!

They will care, when it matters.

Veronicasharmonica · 22/10/2025 15:57

Haha… this is INSANE!

I feel sorry for the kid (I sincerely hope he is naturally bright, musical and sporty) and for the unfortunate soul who gets the job.

Pipsquiggle · 22/10/2025 15:49

TheaBrandt1 · 22/10/2025 15:40

Teen Dd has barrelled effortlessly into these circles by being gorgeous, fun, great company and a good friend to the dd of an eminent family. They don’t care at all that she goes to a state school and isn’t one of them. So you don’t necessarily need to go to such a massive effort to infiltrate you can do so by accident!

How did your DD get to know know 'eminent family' friend?

I am assuming this is what the family want from employing an expensive tutor, they want an 'in' to this British upper class clique

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 22/10/2025 15:46

That reads like satire, and i honestly can’t tell the difference anymore.

TheaBrandt1 · 22/10/2025 15:40

Teen Dd has barrelled effortlessly into these circles by being gorgeous, fun, great company and a good friend to the dd of an eminent family. They don’t care at all that she goes to a state school and isn’t one of them. So you don’t necessarily need to go to such a massive effort to infiltrate you can do so by accident!

METimezone · 22/10/2025 15:38

Isthisright220 · 22/10/2025 15:34

I think this must be a p take

Let's hope not - what a spoilsport that would be!

Fortunately I have met a couple of parents in my time who would absolutely have written something like this so my enjoyment is not hampered by too high an opinion of human nature 😁.

Isthisright220 · 22/10/2025 15:34

I think this must be a p take

METimezone · 22/10/2025 15:33

TurraeaFloribunda · 22/10/2025 14:40

Sadly, I don’t have an EYFS qualification but I tick all the other boxes, and I’m currently doing the job unpaid for my DGC 😂

TBF, I haven’t taught them the rules of Eton and Rugby fives or how to address an ambassador yet so I might have to up my game a bit.

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Jesus Christ, exactly what HAVE you been teaching them? I hope they're under 5 and still stand a chance.

METimezone · 22/10/2025 15:31

Lesson 1: The English will rip the absolute proverbial out of anyone thought to take themselves anywhere near this seriously. They will immediately identify anyone who is comfortable openly advertising the fact as an outsider.

Lesson 2: Being English is a club not even the English can get into.

They can have that advice for free - imagine what, by their payscale, it's actually worth!

TurraeaFloribunda · 22/10/2025 14:40

GingerBeverage · 22/10/2025 10:10

They're describing an entirely imaginary person. Anyone who has the background they want surely wouldn't take this type of work. Anyone who has 'attended the best schools and universities in England' is unlikely to be have EY for UHNW weirdos as their dream job. And 180k sounds not bloody enough.

The whole thing reeks of a sad kind of class fetishism and affluent neglect.

Sadly, I don’t have an EYFS qualification but I tick all the other boxes, and I’m currently doing the job unpaid for my DGC 😂

TBF, I haven’t taught them the rules of Eton and Rugby fives or how to address an ambassador yet so I might have to up my game a bit.

smallglassbottle · 22/10/2025 14:18

Ha ha that's ridiculous. I'm hoping the hapless infant is a true individual and refuses to engage with this hothousing and grows up to form his own band at 15, stays out all night, fraternises with kids from the local comprehensive and then enrols on a heating and plumbing course at the nearest FE college 😁

I'm all for education and cultural enrichment, but this sort of parenting is stupid, because children always arrive pre programmed to a large extent and you will massively come unstuck if you force them in a certain direction, if they're unsuited to it.

chaosmaker · 22/10/2025 14:15

TheUsualChaos · 22/10/2025 11:24

Expect the Nanny does 3pm onwards, who no doubt was also very carefully selected to be quintessentially English.

They probably employ Mary Poppins.

chaosmaker · 22/10/2025 14:08

Screamingabdabz · 22/10/2025 10:31

Does asking for someone with Received Pronunciation breach the Equality Act?

Fuck me. Thanks op, for opening my eyes to a world I thought was just a parody. They say if you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Why would it? Anyone can learn to do received pronunciation.

ChelseaBagger · 22/10/2025 13:57

FairKoala · 22/10/2025 13:44

How did you teach the English Gentleman bit

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They just absorbed it effortlessly through our many high class social engagements innit.

chaosmaker · 22/10/2025 13:55

ThisGentleRaven · 22/10/2025 09:43

On MN, where interesting a child in Greek Mythology is called "pretentious horseshit", you can guess how that kind of advert will be read 😂

Greek Mythology is loads of fun, all those monsters and gods :) The advert sucks and anyone taking the job is in for hell. Awful.

I still don't know what british culture is and would fail the britsh thingy test for foreigners definitely. (UK born and bred)

milkywaynursery · 22/10/2025 13:47

Maybe they watched too much Bridgerton

MJMa · 22/10/2025 13:47

I find it bloody weird if I’m honest.

milkywaynursery · 22/10/2025 13:47

FairKoala · 22/10/2025 13:44

How did you teach the English Gentleman bit

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😂😂very funny

milkywaynursery · 22/10/2025 13:46

ChelseaBagger · 22/10/2025 13:38

I would love to turn up to the interview with my own list of questions for the parents:

What are their most recent IQ scores?
What is their own level of education?
What was the mother's exact diet and routine in pregnancy?
Was she taking appropriate supplements for 6 months before the pregnancy?
At how many weeks gestation was The Child born?
Was he breastfed, and if so, what supplements was the mother taking at this time? (If he was bottle fed, I would throw my pen down and walk out there and then in disgust)
What is his sleep regime?
What prior learning has he completed?

And whatever the answers to the above, I'd tell them that this child is also already a write-off and that they should go for a third, but make sure they get it right from the beginning this time. This may require one or other parent to find a new, more intelligent, partner.

😆😆I'd love to see you do that!!! That's just hilarious!

SomethingInnocuousForNow · 22/10/2025 13:45

"If you are raised in Britain, follow British rules, go to a British school and have British friends - you are going to act British." There is a certain part of society that doesn't really believe this though. Or they want their child to be "British" in the way it matters in old money circles.

More fool them though because what they don't realise is that you can't tutor or buy your way into this. That's why the 5 year old "failed".

FairKoala · 22/10/2025 13:44

ChelseaBagger · 22/10/2025 13:17

I provided exactly this for all my kids (starting from birth no less!) They've gone on to one of the most academically selective schools in the country. I should have charged their dad more (I will at least tell him to stop moaning about the state of the house).

One huge difference, though, was that my own kids had my very academic DNA. I'm genuinely curious as to what sort of result I could have got out of a less academically inclined child. (What's that you say? He's a real live human being, not just a science experiment? Bloody ethics committees are determined to ruin all experiments on young children....)

How did you teach the English Gentleman bit

Lemonyyy · 22/10/2025 13:41

I assume they have hired actual Mary Poppins as his nanny already

FairKoala · 22/10/2025 13:41

OldieButBaddie · 22/10/2025 13:26

This reads like the job description Jacob Rees Mogg's nanny would have had
It's absolutely tragic, that poor child

I was thinking Chris Eubanks

ChelseaBagger · 22/10/2025 13:38

I would love to turn up to the interview with my own list of questions for the parents:

What are their most recent IQ scores?
What is their own level of education?
What was the mother's exact diet and routine in pregnancy?
Was she taking appropriate supplements for 6 months before the pregnancy?
At how many weeks gestation was The Child born?
Was he breastfed, and if so, what supplements was the mother taking at this time? (If he was bottle fed, I would throw my pen down and walk out there and then in disgust)
What is his sleep regime?
What prior learning has he completed?

And whatever the answers to the above, I'd tell them that this child is also already a write-off and that they should go for a third, but make sure they get it right from the beginning this time. This may require one or other parent to find a new, more intelligent, partner.