I completely understand that on paper, a six-figure household income sounds like a lot. I’m not trying to be ignorant of the fact that many people are struggling far more. But for anyone actually living it, especially in the South East, the reality feels very different once you factor in childcare costs.
We’re looking at full-time nursery fees of around £2,500 a month per child, and I honestly don’t know how families are supposed to make it work once you hit the £100k cliff edge and lose access to the 30 free hours. It’s completely unsustainable.
I know some people say you can get around it by putting more into your pension so your income technically falls below the threshold, but that just isn’t realistic for everyone. With the cost of living, mortgage, and general expenses, we simply can’t afford to take home hundreds less each month. We already don’t have holidays, don’t buy new clothes, and don’t even have a car. There isn’t any more to cut back.
It’s not even about wanting handouts, it’s that full-priced childcare in this country is so eye-wateringly expensive that it makes working impossible for many women. The system actually discourages the lower earner, usually the mother, from staying in work.
A friend of mine is a good example. Her husband earns over the threshold, and she’s just spent years retraining into a new career that she’s passionate about, but is now entry level. We worked out that if they have a baby, it would literally cost them money they can't afford for her to keep working once childcare, rising mortgage payments and bills are factored in. She’d have to give it all up. It’s so demoralising.
And the whole system makes no sense. Two people earning £99k each can claim free hours, but one person earning £100k can’t. Someone on £50k with one child gets support, but a couple on £100k with two children get nothing, even though their childcare costs are double and they are taxed more. It’s not unreasonable to have worked hard, built a decent career and want two children, but the government seems to penalise you for it.
Other countries manage to offer affordable childcare to everyone because they see it as essential. Here it just feels like you’re being punished for trying to do well. For those of us in the South East, it’s even harder. Living costs are sky high, childcare is extortionate, and it’s not realistic to just move somewhere cheaper when your jobs and lives are here.
It feels like you’re being backed into a corner. I find it so demoralising that the system seems designed to push mothers out of their careers, especially when you’ve worked so hard to build one in the first place. AIBU in feeling like this?