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The £100k childcare cliff edge - how is anyone meant to make this work?

262 replies

Saladleaf · 21/10/2025 22:06

I completely understand that on paper, a six-figure household income sounds like a lot. I’m not trying to be ignorant of the fact that many people are struggling far more. But for anyone actually living it, especially in the South East, the reality feels very different once you factor in childcare costs.

We’re looking at full-time nursery fees of around £2,500 a month per child, and I honestly don’t know how families are supposed to make it work once you hit the £100k cliff edge and lose access to the 30 free hours. It’s completely unsustainable.

I know some people say you can get around it by putting more into your pension so your income technically falls below the threshold, but that just isn’t realistic for everyone. With the cost of living, mortgage, and general expenses, we simply can’t afford to take home hundreds less each month. We already don’t have holidays, don’t buy new clothes, and don’t even have a car. There isn’t any more to cut back.

It’s not even about wanting handouts, it’s that full-priced childcare in this country is so eye-wateringly expensive that it makes working impossible for many women. The system actually discourages the lower earner, usually the mother, from staying in work.

A friend of mine is a good example. Her husband earns over the threshold, and she’s just spent years retraining into a new career that she’s passionate about, but is now entry level. We worked out that if they have a baby, it would literally cost them money they can't afford for her to keep working once childcare, rising mortgage payments and bills are factored in. She’d have to give it all up. It’s so demoralising.

And the whole system makes no sense. Two people earning £99k each can claim free hours, but one person earning £100k can’t. Someone on £50k with one child gets support, but a couple on £100k with two children get nothing, even though their childcare costs are double and they are taxed more. It’s not unreasonable to have worked hard, built a decent career and want two children, but the government seems to penalise you for it.

Other countries manage to offer affordable childcare to everyone because they see it as essential. Here it just feels like you’re being punished for trying to do well. For those of us in the South East, it’s even harder. Living costs are sky high, childcare is extortionate, and it’s not realistic to just move somewhere cheaper when your jobs and lives are here.

It feels like you’re being backed into a corner. I find it so demoralising that the system seems designed to push mothers out of their careers, especially when you’ve worked so hard to build one in the first place. AIBU in feeling like this?

OP posts:
OhamIreally · 22/10/2025 08:26

I do think there has been at best a lack of regard to which sex will be most impacted here. High earning male partners are not obliged to share their earnings and whilst this thread refers to couples tax planning together as a team, that doesn’t always happen.

See also the high income child benefit cap. This was a benefit designed to “take from the wallet and give to the purse”. A male partner earns over the threshold and (generally) the mother loses it. This is particularly impactful for single parents, the vast majority of which are women, who then lose child benefit on a single salary.

I remember when UC was brought in there was a lot of unease that the claim would be a family claim rather than individual and that this might exacerbate financial abuse.

Bearfan · 22/10/2025 08:25

Lors24462 · 22/10/2025 07:59

In Wales it’s based on gross income so there isn’t even the option of paying extra into pension or salary sacrifice schemes to bring income under £100k. My husband‘s earnings have just tipped very slightly over the threshold as a result of doctor pay rises and we are so much worse off now.

Edited

dropping his hours is the other option.

frozendaisy · 22/10/2025 08:24

If one of you is on £100K whilst your children are under 5/4 you are in a great financial position and have a long wealthy life ahead of you

You can put up to £60k into a pension to bring the earnings under the threshold.

If you are earning over £160k whilst your children are under school age then you can put a bit less in your pension to cover the few years of childcare costs and still bring home a fantastic wage, plus the other parent's wage because you wouldn't need childcare then.

At some point you have to ask the question how much do you need?

Right now I don't think the country's payments need to be supporting people in this sort of financial position.

OhamIreally · 22/10/2025 08:13

YesImaman1100 · 22/10/2025 06:29

It's cute that you think this government or any other would have the intelligence to think with that level of detail.

Someone upthread said it was Jeremy Hunt who introduced this. Whatever else I may think of that man I don’t consider him to be unintelligent.

Halloweeeeeeeeen · 22/10/2025 08:11

I don’t think there should be a cliff edge on this or on income tax, it should be proportionate to salary. The computer systems are able to handle all this, it’s not like it is all calculated manually in this day and age. It should also be per household salary.

RobustPastry · 22/10/2025 08:09

Why did they remove the childcare vouchers system?

PoorPhaedra · 22/10/2025 08:09

I agree and other European countries have much cheaper childcare. But this is because it is heavily subsidised and paid for by higher taxes - particularly income tax and often VAT. But people in the UK seem to have some primal fear of raising taxes and refuse to consider paying more tax so we’re stuck in this conundrum.

babyproblems · 22/10/2025 08:06

YANBU.
I won’t believe a government ‘cares about women’ until childcare is heavily subsidised for everyone; and I mean heavily subsidised to the level it is affordable- and the CMS is completely overhauled.
I agree it’s all about reducing choices for women.

Side note but in keeping with the women’s choices & societal support part - Can you imagine what life is like for single mothers without family support? I literally don’t know how single mothers of young children manage

helpfulperson · 22/10/2025 08:02

Saladleaf · 21/10/2025 22:17

I agree, and it's forcing women who have worked just as hard as men in their careers to become a SAHP against their wishes, which is detrimental to their career aspirations and general wellbeing. It's extremely hard being a SAHP with no support or village, and is not something you should be forced into. That's if you can even afford it on £100k in the South East with the cost of living.

No it isn't. It is forcing couples to look at how they manage the situation they are in. There is no reason the SAHP needs to be mum and society will be a lot better off once this stops being the presumption. There are also other options I work for local government and many of the male staff work 4 days a week and their partners also work 4 days reducing the number of nursery days to 3. Often this is compressed hours rather than dropping a day so still the same salary. With WFT this is a much more accessible option.

TheNightingalesStarling · 22/10/2025 08:01

I think many people just see 100k and think "its massive, how can they spend all that?" Without actually stopping to think through implications.

It is a massive salary but very easy to spend in major cities where just a normal 2or3 bed house or flat costs more than half a million minimum, plus not seeing how much goes on tax each year.

Fearfulsaints · 22/10/2025 08:01

The threshold is ridiculous.

It makes no sense to push people to earn less so they are better off.

It doesn't affect me, neither of us earn that much. I also got the 15 hours at 3 and childcare was expensive then too, but the tax system didn't make me better off on a lower salary and this tax threshold is damaging the economy.

Lors24462 · 22/10/2025 07:59

In Wales it’s based on gross income so there isn’t even the option of paying extra into pension or salary sacrifice schemes to bring income under £100k. My husband‘s earnings have just tipped very slightly over the threshold as a result of doctor pay rises and we are so much worse off now.

limescale · 22/10/2025 07:58

Glittertwins · 22/10/2025 07:48

It is rubbish and at the time £100k was brought in, far fewer people were caught in this and the cost of living / inflation was a lot lot lower.
We’re dumping into pension to avoid it however we are fortunate in that our childcare needs are long gone.

I think this is the crux of the issue - the number of people it impacted was so small when the policy was made.

Needlenardlenoo · 22/10/2025 07:52

I have no skin in the game any more but yes I agree. This is one of the more stupid ways a government could subsidise childcare and calling it "free" was even more stupid. As was low balling the hourly rate expecting it to fall to that while simultaneously following policies that have increased wages significantly at the lower end, employment taxes, business rates...

I don't know why the subsidy can't go to the parents directly via the tax system (we have examples of that already within Universal Credit, and the "tax free childcare", plus the childcare vouchers that preceded them).

Producer subsidies always have perverse effects. Any Economics student could tell you that.

Glittertwins · 22/10/2025 07:48

It is rubbish and at the time £100k was brought in, far fewer people were caught in this and the cost of living / inflation was a lot lot lower.
We’re dumping into pension to avoid it however we are fortunate in that our childcare needs are long gone.

Bearfan · 22/10/2025 07:45

MidnightPatrol · 22/10/2025 07:41

Another poster not understanding the current situation.

Due to tax and loss of benefits with two in nursery now, I need to earn £150k to have the same net result as earning £99k.

If I earn less than £150k… I actually have a lower net income after tax and benefits, than on £99k.

This isn’t ‘oooh yes but it’s always been hard’ - there’s an income threshold at which unless you earn dramatically more, you are financially worse off. This means people are heavily incentivised to earn less - that is a huge productivity issue (and means the country raises less tax as a result).

Virtually every other poster in this thread is missing the fundamental point of how economically damaging this policy is both to the parent and the UK. Sigh! This is why we cannot have good taxes in this country.

JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch · 22/10/2025 07:44

And the other side of things - the quality of our childcare seems poor, again down to gov't funding. Disinterested (cheap) apprentices, wages that would be higher at Lidl. It's a government decision that devalues Early Years.

JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch · 22/10/2025 07:42

Gruffporcupine · 22/10/2025 07:33

A few reasons why childcare costs are inflated. Ratios in the UK mean childcare workers look after far fewer kids than other comparative countries. Running costs, energy being the big one. We have some of the most expensive energy in the world. The way funding is structured means that people who get the most support with childcare and pay nothing push up the price for everybody else, especially those who have to pay full whack. The only solution if you're a high earner is careful birth spacing (putting multiples aside), or taking a massive salary hit with self sacrifice schemes, someone dropping their hours or quitting altogether. There's no way around it

Edited

These reasons seem like a bit of a nonsense when you look at our childcare costs versus literally every other country in Europe with the exception of Switzerland. It is a government decision, and a poor one.

OP - yes, it is shit. Sincerely, mum of preschooler twins.

RhaenysRocks · 22/10/2025 07:42

Saladleaf · 21/10/2025 22:22

I agree. Why can other countries seem to offer universal affordable childcare but not us? Why is the UK any different when we already pay some of the highest taxes? I don't get it.

Childcare costs have increased exponentially so those on over £100k paying full price are now paying a disproportionate amount. For those with two children it's just not feasible.

I don't disagree with this but there's so much venom directed at public sector employees and calls for their T&C's and pensions to be downgraded, expanding that sector to include childcare workers would not go down well. The only way full subsidized childcare would happen would be at huge expense and at a basic minimum standard. Private businesses would operate as an alternative and you get a two tier system just like schools with cries of inequality and unequal playing fields. I don't know how it does work in other countries but given the "feel" in the UK right now, I can't see it happening here.

MidnightPatrol · 22/10/2025 07:41

Puregoldy · 22/10/2025 07:30

It has changed over the years. My dc are of the age when you used to get 15 hours free the term after they turned 3. So if you had a summer born they were at school before long. We were classed as middle earners I guess but I couldn’t afford to work as my wage would be gone on childcare. I worked around dh in minimum wage roles. There was a recession and we ended up in a lot of debt. I think the only sensible solution looking back is to have bigger age gaps. But there is no perfect solution. I wonder if we are lucky the government pay towards childcare at all. But it doesn’t benefit everyone and never has.

Another poster not understanding the current situation.

Due to tax and loss of benefits with two in nursery now, I need to earn £150k to have the same net result as earning £99k.

If I earn less than £150k… I actually have a lower net income after tax and benefits, than on £99k.

This isn’t ‘oooh yes but it’s always been hard’ - there’s an income threshold at which unless you earn dramatically more, you are financially worse off. This means people are heavily incentivised to earn less - that is a huge productivity issue (and means the country raises less tax as a result).

Gruffporcupine · 22/10/2025 07:33

A few reasons why childcare costs are inflated. Ratios in the UK mean childcare workers look after far fewer kids than other comparative countries. Running costs, energy being the big one. We have some of the most expensive energy in the world. The way funding is structured means that people who get the most support with childcare and pay nothing push up the price for everybody else, especially those who have to pay full whack. The only solution if you're a high earner is careful birth spacing (putting multiples aside), or taking a massive salary hit with self sacrifice schemes, someone dropping their hours or quitting altogether. There's no way around it

Puregoldy · 22/10/2025 07:30

It has changed over the years. My dc are of the age when you used to get 15 hours free the term after they turned 3. So if you had a summer born they were at school before long. We were classed as middle earners I guess but I couldn’t afford to work as my wage would be gone on childcare. I worked around dh in minimum wage roles. There was a recession and we ended up in a lot of debt. I think the only sensible solution looking back is to have bigger age gaps. But there is no perfect solution. I wonder if we are lucky the government pay towards childcare at all. But it doesn’t benefit everyone and never has.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 22/10/2025 07:28

Bunnycat101 · 21/10/2025 22:13

It is a temporary expense. People have been complaining about nursery fees for years and now there is more help than there ever was. It is a tough period of life if you’re working but for many people keeping a career and pension going are worth it longer-term. So yes women have been making decisions that might not be financially advantageous in the short term for ages re childcare and most of them will be earning much less than £100k.

Are the costs high? Yes. But they also should be high. Looking after babies and toddlers shouldn’t be done on the cheap. I remember a former minister (might have even been Liz Truss but I can’t remember) proposing lowering ratios for cheaper childcare and everyone was outraged.

A temporary expense that potentially goes on fora decade if you have more than one child.

MidnightPatrol · 22/10/2025 07:20

It’s amazing how many people engage in this topic saying it’s fine and just how it is, ‘childcare has always been expensive etc’ - with absolutely no grasp whatsoever of what the issue is for people earning over the childcare threshold.

My immediate loss of benefits for earning 1p over £100k is currently £22,000. To take home £22,000 after tax over £100k, I need to earn an EXTRA £50,000.

That creates a massive incentive to ensure I can claim the free hours - by working part time, by using pension contributions etc. Otherwise I get paid £0 for a third of the year.

It has not ‘always been this way’ - the 30 free hours policy from 9 months (which is the real distorter) was introduced LAST MONTH.

@mustytrusty and @Cantseetreesforthewood above, this may help your understanding of the situation posters are describing.

Bearfan · 22/10/2025 07:19

OhamIreally · 22/10/2025 04:01

This scenario does make you wonder if the policy was ideological in nature. It’s more likely to be the male partner earning the higher wage so the female partner steps back into the home.

There would be a short term gain to this policy. It took time for people to rearrange their tax affairs to regain the childcare hours but it happened eventually and the policy went from on that earned the government money to one that costs the government money. The government are well aware it’s a stupid policy which is bad for the economy but they are also well aware that quite a lot of the public aren’t intelligent enough to know that rolling back this policy isn’t a giveaway to the wealthy but to help grow the UK economy. Taking action to benefit the UK economy like this will damage them in the polls so they won’t do it.

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