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The £100k childcare cliff edge - how is anyone meant to make this work?

262 replies

Saladleaf · 21/10/2025 22:06

I completely understand that on paper, a six-figure household income sounds like a lot. I’m not trying to be ignorant of the fact that many people are struggling far more. But for anyone actually living it, especially in the South East, the reality feels very different once you factor in childcare costs.

We’re looking at full-time nursery fees of around £2,500 a month per child, and I honestly don’t know how families are supposed to make it work once you hit the £100k cliff edge and lose access to the 30 free hours. It’s completely unsustainable.

I know some people say you can get around it by putting more into your pension so your income technically falls below the threshold, but that just isn’t realistic for everyone. With the cost of living, mortgage, and general expenses, we simply can’t afford to take home hundreds less each month. We already don’t have holidays, don’t buy new clothes, and don’t even have a car. There isn’t any more to cut back.

It’s not even about wanting handouts, it’s that full-priced childcare in this country is so eye-wateringly expensive that it makes working impossible for many women. The system actually discourages the lower earner, usually the mother, from staying in work.

A friend of mine is a good example. Her husband earns over the threshold, and she’s just spent years retraining into a new career that she’s passionate about, but is now entry level. We worked out that if they have a baby, it would literally cost them money they can't afford for her to keep working once childcare, rising mortgage payments and bills are factored in. She’d have to give it all up. It’s so demoralising.

And the whole system makes no sense. Two people earning £99k each can claim free hours, but one person earning £100k can’t. Someone on £50k with one child gets support, but a couple on £100k with two children get nothing, even though their childcare costs are double and they are taxed more. It’s not unreasonable to have worked hard, built a decent career and want two children, but the government seems to penalise you for it.

Other countries manage to offer affordable childcare to everyone because they see it as essential. Here it just feels like you’re being punished for trying to do well. For those of us in the South East, it’s even harder. Living costs are sky high, childcare is extortionate, and it’s not realistic to just move somewhere cheaper when your jobs and lives are here.

It feels like you’re being backed into a corner. I find it so demoralising that the system seems designed to push mothers out of their careers, especially when you’ve worked so hard to build one in the first place. AIBU in feeling like this?

OP posts:
MidnightPatrol · 22/10/2025 12:28

Leadonmacduffs · 22/10/2025 12:18

Agreed - it should be £100k per HOUSEHOLD.

But still - sorry but you’re going to have to suck that up. £100k is enough. Make some lifestyle changes. It’s what we did and it is not forever.

Once again, you have missed the point of how the threshold impacts behaviour - and overall tax take.

I earn 1p over £100k, and I lose benefits to the tune of £22k (which is £50k pre tax). The incentives for me to claim the benefit are huge - and if I do so, the government loses ~£26k in tax on that £50k. Plus of course - has to pay me the £22k in childcare support.

No one is just going to ‘suck it up’ when the sums are so enormous.

OneAmberFinch · 22/10/2025 12:23

Coldsoup · 22/10/2025 12:15

No, most employees don't put anywhere near enough away in their pensions, this would just be good financial management anyway.

And if you are earning way in excess of the 100k mark then the silly fiddling with numbers people are doing to claim they are "worse off" just doesn't wash.

Edited

What silly fiddling?

Digdongdoo · 22/10/2025 12:20

Leadonmacduffs · 22/10/2025 12:18

Agreed - it should be £100k per HOUSEHOLD.

But still - sorry but you’re going to have to suck that up. £100k is enough. Make some lifestyle changes. It’s what we did and it is not forever.

Why should it be £100k per household? That would exclude far more people and be vastly counterproductive.

Leadonmacduffs · 22/10/2025 12:18

WickedElpheba · 21/10/2025 22:08

Yes it doesn't make sense that two people can earn £90k and get the funding but a couple with one person earning £100k can't but it's the same with child benefit in that it's not a joint threshold. You should be able to afford nursery for one child with one of you on £100k though. It's not forever.

Edited

Agreed - it should be £100k per HOUSEHOLD.

But still - sorry but you’re going to have to suck that up. £100k is enough. Make some lifestyle changes. It’s what we did and it is not forever.

OneAmberFinch · 22/10/2025 12:16

StrawberrySquash · 22/10/2025 12:03

I think that's a plausible example and a consequence of assessing our income only on an annual basis (for tax) - when in reality it's more complicated than that.

But if you sacrificed £50k out of that £150k a year to take you under the £100k, then won't that mean you aren't paying all that childcare? And if you do it for 2 years that's a total of £100k into the pension which is significant. (Although you'd likely have put a good chunk of that in anyway.) So you do get some of the benefit, it's just delayed and you get it as a pensioner (or you reduce pension contribution in subsequent years)

But I agree £100k isn't as much as it sounds. Partly because of inflation recently. You see this in other posts with people on lower incomes wondering why they suddenly can't afford things they used to. The answer is their income has been eroded. But the headline number still sounds a lot.

Sure, the pension value is non-zero. It just doesn't help today with bills - I can't sacrifice down to £100k because that plus my partner's income doesn't cover our housing, loan repayment and living costs. FYI - we live in a 2-bed ex council terrace in zone 3 London, not a rough area but not posh either. But we bought recently with a 10% deposit, no family money, so exhausted all our savings and have a huge mortgage.

I appreciate that many people literally can't do that, but I guess my point is the only way I can earn that flashy income is by living in London and paying exorbitant nursery costs this year, not in the future.

Coldsoup · 22/10/2025 12:15

123ZYX · 22/10/2025 12:05

That’s exactly what people do and so the government doesn’t get the tax on that income, but wouldn’t you expect to see some benefit to earning that amount? The rules just don’t make sense.

Also, the person I was replying to was making a comparison to someone earning half the amount (so £50k) - I was explaining why there can be little difference

Edited

No, most employees don't put anywhere near enough away in their pensions, this would just be good financial management anyway.

And if you are earning way in excess of the 100k mark then the silly fiddling with numbers people are doing to claim they are "worse off" just doesn't wash.

123ZYX · 22/10/2025 12:05

Coldsoup · 22/10/2025 11:55

Well if they are only just on £100k all they need to do is chuck £1000 extra in their pension and they get their 30 free hours and take home £59K

That’s exactly what people do and so the government doesn’t get the tax on that income, but wouldn’t you expect to see some benefit to earning that amount? The rules just don’t make sense.

Also, the person I was replying to was making a comparison to someone earning half the amount (so £50k) - I was explaining why there can be little difference

StrawberrySquash · 22/10/2025 12:03

OneAmberFinch · 22/10/2025 11:40

People's incomes aren't necessarily stable, particularly women's. Let me explain a very common scenario for women at my workplace.

Graduate mid-20s (usually with masters). By around 30, climb up to the level earning £100k+. Student loan payments shoot up but at least the balance is going down from the 2 degrees and you'll be home free soon.

Great maternity package so stay for a kid or two. Just about manage to make it work for this period, using pregnancy accommodations, taking a non-client facing role temporarily when coming back, etc. Kids will be out of nursery then you'll be home free soon.

Realise by the time the kids start school that this life is not compatible with family and quit for a job earning say £80-90k on better hours.

On paper, there was a period where you earned up to £150k for a few years. Incredible right? But you never got to reap the fruits of it because you either sacrificed into pension or took massive tax hits during the short window of time you had that salary. That could have been a period of building a nest egg and getting ahead on the mortgage etc. But it's just wasted.

And pension sacrifice doesn't pay the bills today. You live in London, mortgage is £3k+, childcare for 2 is £5k+ - you can't pay that on £99k gross. I don't sacrifice into pension beyond employer payments because our household would not be able to make ends meet.

I think that's a plausible example and a consequence of assessing our income only on an annual basis (for tax) - when in reality it's more complicated than that.

But if you sacrificed £50k out of that £150k a year to take you under the £100k, then won't that mean you aren't paying all that childcare? And if you do it for 2 years that's a total of £100k into the pension which is significant. (Although you'd likely have put a good chunk of that in anyway.) So you do get some of the benefit, it's just delayed and you get it as a pensioner (or you reduce pension contribution in subsequent years)

But I agree £100k isn't as much as it sounds. Partly because of inflation recently. You see this in other posts with people on lower incomes wondering why they suddenly can't afford things they used to. The answer is their income has been eroded. But the headline number still sounds a lot.

OneAmberFinch · 22/10/2025 12:01

IMO nursery costs should be tax deductible - in the year that the income is earned and the costs are paid out.

Coldsoup · 22/10/2025 11:55

123ZYX · 22/10/2025 11:43

Based on 1 child, single parent with £2.5k a month additional nursery costs (as estimated by previous posters, since I’m past nursery stage), autoenrolment pension and type 1 student loan, someone on £100k takes home £60k, less £30k nursery leaving £30k. Someone on £50k takes home £35k.

Well if they are only just on £100k all they need to do is chuck £1000 extra in their pension and they get their 30 free hours and take home £59K

123ZYX · 22/10/2025 11:43

ApplebyArrows · 22/10/2025 11:21

I just really struggle to understand posts like OP's. I know families living in the southeast, with mortgages and kids, on half or even a quarter of a hundred grand, and they still manage to buy clothes and go on holiday. Every post like this just makes me feel some people's incomes must vastly outstrip their financial management skills!

Based on 1 child, single parent with £2.5k a month additional nursery costs (as estimated by previous posters, since I’m past nursery stage), autoenrolment pension and type 1 student loan, someone on £100k takes home £60k, less £30k nursery leaving £30k. Someone on £50k takes home £35k.

OneAmberFinch · 22/10/2025 11:40

StrawberrySquash · 22/10/2025 10:39

A cliff edge is always illogical. It causes perverse incentives like encouraging people not to get promoted. Fine, don't give lots of help to higher earners, but taper these things. Everything around the £100k is badly thought out; it's also where you get the withdrawal of the personal allowance. Just be honest and make that a higher income tax rate. Although at least that is gradual.

The only thing I will say to people saying they can't afford to salary sacrifice is that at their level of income I'd be expecting them to have a way of smoothing longer term income vs expenditure. By which I mean you accept that for a few years income will be lower while you pay childcare/salary sacrifice under £100k. But those big pension contributions now mean you can afford to reduce them slightly in later years, thus recouping the 'lost' money. If it makes sense to shove a ton of money into a pension one year and less the next then I'll do that level of medium term planning. It's still far less stressful thean balancing payday loans to pay your council tax.

People's incomes aren't necessarily stable, particularly women's. Let me explain a very common scenario for women at my workplace.

Graduate mid-20s (usually with masters). By around 30, climb up to the level earning £100k+. Student loan payments shoot up but at least the balance is going down from the 2 degrees and you'll be home free soon.

Great maternity package so stay for a kid or two. Just about manage to make it work for this period, using pregnancy accommodations, taking a non-client facing role temporarily when coming back, etc. Kids will be out of nursery then you'll be home free soon.

Realise by the time the kids start school that this life is not compatible with family and quit for a job earning say £80-90k on better hours.

On paper, there was a period where you earned up to £150k for a few years. Incredible right? But you never got to reap the fruits of it because you either sacrificed into pension or took massive tax hits during the short window of time you had that salary. That could have been a period of building a nest egg and getting ahead on the mortgage etc. But it's just wasted.

And pension sacrifice doesn't pay the bills today. You live in London, mortgage is £3k+, childcare for 2 is £5k+ - you can't pay that on £99k gross. I don't sacrifice into pension beyond employer payments because our household would not be able to make ends meet.

Doseofreality · 22/10/2025 11:33

People earning over £100k aren’t supposed to have children, they are supposed to use all their free time to work more to pay for other pwiple’s children.

Digdongdoo · 22/10/2025 11:25

ApplebyArrows · 22/10/2025 11:21

I just really struggle to understand posts like OP's. I know families living in the southeast, with mortgages and kids, on half or even a quarter of a hundred grand, and they still manage to buy clothes and go on holiday. Every post like this just makes me feel some people's incomes must vastly outstrip their financial management skills!

Or their circumstances are just different. The value of the subsidised hours is thousands of pounds a year. Someone who bought a house a decade earlier might have a mortgage tens of thousands of pounds (or more) smaller. Or they might have social housing. Or a cheaper commute.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 22/10/2025 11:23

Or of course the people you know are getting help or have had a financial leg up from family. There are some people who are lugging behind them student debts, high mortgages and now eye watering childcare costs with absolutely no help from grandparents or future inheritances.

ApplebyArrows · 22/10/2025 11:21

I just really struggle to understand posts like OP's. I know families living in the southeast, with mortgages and kids, on half or even a quarter of a hundred grand, and they still manage to buy clothes and go on holiday. Every post like this just makes me feel some people's incomes must vastly outstrip their financial management skills!

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 22/10/2025 11:20

The ‘cut your cloth’ brigade are ensuring the brain drain out of the country continues alongside people who would have otherwise had two or three children, now only have one.

NoFavourz · 22/10/2025 11:17

My kids are at university. When they were born, we didn’t have any of these free hours and had to pay out of our income.

However, I can see how ridiculous the new rules are. How they discourage mainly women from earning more, and can result in less tax income for the UK. Which is in nobody’s interest. And I quite like having a world where there are high-earning women occupying positions of power in medicine, the judiciary, politics, the police, business etc.

People from the ‘cut your cloth’ brigade are either too stupid/uneducated or too resentful/jealous to understand what they are saying. They see five zeros in a salary and lose the capacity for rational thought.

MidnightPatrol · 22/10/2025 10:46

@StrawberrySquash the issue with putting it in your pension though, is that housing costs are so high - people want the money now, to pay their enormous mortgages.

I’m in London and know lots of people in this situation with childcare costs - but also pay £3-4k in monthly mortgage costs for a house that would be seen as utterly unremarkable elsewhere in the country.

That means putting a third of their annual income into a pension for several years is more complicated than ‘at least you’ll have a good pension’ - as they want to be able to afford a family home too.

arcticpandas · 22/10/2025 10:42

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 22/10/2025 10:28

Gosh whereabouts do you live? I keep trying to think of places my kids could move to when they’re older and where you live sounds wonderful!

France? Any Scandinavian country? And that's just the countries I know of but it's probably like that in Italy and other countries as well

StrawberrySquash · 22/10/2025 10:39

A cliff edge is always illogical. It causes perverse incentives like encouraging people not to get promoted. Fine, don't give lots of help to higher earners, but taper these things. Everything around the £100k is badly thought out; it's also where you get the withdrawal of the personal allowance. Just be honest and make that a higher income tax rate. Although at least that is gradual.

The only thing I will say to people saying they can't afford to salary sacrifice is that at their level of income I'd be expecting them to have a way of smoothing longer term income vs expenditure. By which I mean you accept that for a few years income will be lower while you pay childcare/salary sacrifice under £100k. But those big pension contributions now mean you can afford to reduce them slightly in later years, thus recouping the 'lost' money. If it makes sense to shove a ton of money into a pension one year and less the next then I'll do that level of medium term planning. It's still far less stressful thean balancing payday loans to pay your council tax.

Digdongdoo · 22/10/2025 10:34

It's an illogical policy and it's kept me out of work, or working fewer hours than I'd like. Without the cliff edge we both would have worked more and the extra tax we paid would have covered the additional childcare many times over. But I shan't moan too much, it's a nice problem to have.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 22/10/2025 10:31

Fabulously · 22/10/2025 09:57

so childcare costs £30k a year, you earn over 1 million a year. So what is happening with the remainder of £970,000+?

It doesn’t seem like the right hill for you to die on.

Bloody hell. Who is talking about earning millions?!! A million pounds is a number with six zeros after it, so 1,000 000. One hundred thousand pounds is a number with five zeros after it, so 100, 000.

Maybe this is what’s causing all the confusion on here. Are people thinking that one hundred thousand pounds a year is equivalent to one million pounds?!

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 22/10/2025 10:28

readingismycardio · 22/10/2025 09:56

100% agree. I am from (and live now) in a country in Europe that is often looked down on in the UK. I went to uni in Scotland. I left the UK in 2016, but it was always shocking to me how education isn’t free - we have free nursery/kindergarden (unless you choose to go private), affordable private healthcare and state healthcare - you get to see a dr in the same day you have a problem. So yes - the cost of childcare is eye watering.

Gosh whereabouts do you live? I keep trying to think of places my kids could move to when they’re older and where you live sounds wonderful!

Adelle79360 · 22/10/2025 10:24

Fabulously · 22/10/2025 09:57

so childcare costs £30k a year, you earn over 1 million a year. So what is happening with the remainder of £970,000+?

It doesn’t seem like the right hill for you to die on.

The threshold being talked about is £100,000 not £1m. And that’s gross not net. The absolute vast majority of people are not earning £1m net. I think we would all agree that if you have that sort of income you are not going to be disincentivised by paying childcare costs.