What age would you let your child do this train by themself?

Has she video called the boy to check he is the age he says he is? I would be worried about this . Can she go with a friend the first time she meets him and he brings a friend too? Or he be a gentleman and travel closer to her?
the trains, we have all got on the wrong train I did when teenage but as long as not late at night she’ll be ok

This thread is a sad reflection on parenting and clearly spells out why some dc are not great at managing their lives. Parents are forever hovering! It’s awful to read the ludicrous levels of suspicion between adults and dc. Surely meet the boy?! Then let them go. No wonder employers tear their hair out with these teen babies! Let dc experiment and accept they don’t always get it right. But - they learn.

I do find it interesting that the OP is clearly okay with her 14 year old at the time having a boyfriend but at 15 she’s not okay with her getting the train. The risk of harm from having an intimate relationship with a boy is far far greater than getting public transport.

This thread is mad. The boy is a friend in her year at school. It is mad for the OP to be on the same train and keeping an eye in case they get on the wrong train home. And the poster who asked ‘what if it rains?’, well they wear their coats, get wet or decide to come home.

I know people say that the amount of adults living at home for years as due to money but the fact that teenagers can’t do really normal activities alone without parents panicking is mad.

I guess the most I would do, is take dc to the station , and check she’s meeting who she says she is. Then I’d let them crack on.

Do people really follow their teens on trains? That seems crazy to me. She 15 and it's daytime, going to a place she's familiar with. Either trust them or not. If they get the wrong train, she will learn from it. Talk through the journey with her so she has less of a chance of that happening - look up possible return times, etc.

The train is fine, many dc take regular trains to see other parents from late primary school age, my dc took the 3 hour intercity to their grandparents at aged 11&12, dropping off on the platform and being picked up on the platform. The boyfriend is the elephant in this room!

When I was 15 I was allowed to go underage clubbing with my older (but still underage) sibling. Our dad would pick us up at 2am and give us a lift home though.

I agree with PPs that if it was someone dodgy she'd say it was a girl from school or pretend she wasn't getting the train to York. Though if she hasn't got the wit to make up a plausible and comforting lie, maybe she does need her mum to follow her?

It's crazy isn't it?! The amount of monitoring and tracking that goes on is seriously worrying. The article the other day about tracking Uni kids on their iPhones was even worse.

Well yes but in that case she could have just said she's going with a friend! At the end of the day, teens will lie to go and meet boys anyway (I certainly used to!). You can't control every little thing they do. Certainly not at 15.

She could but if she was doing that then why would she even say she was off to York with him rather than saying going to a friend's house.?

Makes me wonder how my parents coped when I was 15. It was sort of " I'm meeting up with *friend today see u later.. No mobile phones, tracking etc and I really can't imagine my dad taking time off work to follow me, that would be just weird

SD did this from aged 12. Her Mum went with her onto the platform, saw her get on the train at one end, and we met her on the platform at the other end.

To walk around a city with a friend, I'd say 14/15.

To see that the DD SAYS that's who it is. She might actually be covering for something a lot less suitable.

Right, but she might not be telling the truth - could be a man she met online or anything.

She thinks I shouldn't go. I just want to make sure they get the right train back.

And what are you going to do if you see them getting on the wrong train? Jump out from behind a pillar on the platform and drag them off?! Or run over waving "Coooeee Mummy's here!"

Come on OP. This is actually insane.

I think 15 is fine tbh. She'll be going to university open days and other stuff by herself in a year or so.

At 15 I'd be happy for her to go with another 15 year old friend from school. Or indeed, on her own. I would not be accompanying them on the train.

It does, doesn't it? 😁

My son is 15. He's been getting himself to the station and on the train to see friends, of his own volition since he was 13 (paid for with his own money, he's also had a part time job since he was 13).

OP, do not get the train with your daughter. That's ridiculous.

And if things go wrong - guess what - they cope!

Threads like this always remind me of the journey my mother did aged 15 when the train she was on didn't stop at the station where she was supposed to change. Just like the song, she was taken on to Crewe. It was wartime and no-one had a phone.

She coped.

Now that we know its a boy from her school rather than some stranger she met online then of course it's fine, she's not a small child. DD has been taking the train to our nearest city (hour away) by herself since 13, but would have been fine with it from younger too (like 11)

He's a schoolmate not a random off the Internet

And if things go wrong - guess what - they cope!

My Dd must have been about 13/14 when she missed her station and ended up at Gatwick. She phoned me, and I said she was a bit daft, and she better get the next train back. she did.

She also managed to be in the wrong section of one of those trains that splits into two part way along the journey and ended up in the wrong place. She rang, we googled and she took the next train to get her back on track.

It's good for them!

I'm a very anxious worrier and seriously risk averse but some of these replies are absolutely nuts!

She's 15 and going with a school friend from the same year!

I'd have said about 13 would be fine, the suggestions of 17+ is seriously worrying, why you'd want to make your children so dependent and incapable is beyond me.

Getting on the same train and following them at those ages is absolutely bonkers unless there's a huge drip feed about additional needs.

I grew up in a shit town with nothing to do, and was allowed to get the train to London (1.5ish hours) with my friends from 14. Based on the other things we did at that age (hanging round our own shit town, and at other people's houses), I would think a day trip to a city would probably be safer if the boy from school turns out to be a knob, as they'll be in busy places with lots of people, and not in someone's bedroom or round the back of a leisure centre or similar.

If you really want to go then I suggest you say to your DD that you quite fancy some time in York, that you might head there after them, then you could arrange to meet in York station and have a cup of tea<insert beverage of choice> together (meet the boy) and head back on the same train, not sitting with them. I wouldn't do any covert spying.

If it's rainy though, I have no suggestions for that.