To feel envious of friends who had DC in their 20s.

I think it depends on how you use your time. Like if you had kids a bit older but spent your 20s getting a degree a solid work experience or building a stable relationship, then thats obviously a good thing. But If you spent your 20s partying and hanging around, however and you're the type who would have pulled themselves together if they did have them young then ya, maybe it would have been a good thing. The ones at your reunion sound like they're in a place to make up for lost time. That's fine too but if they're broke, it's not something they'll be able to keep up! You're probably in a place that's right for you. Parenting is tough in general!

They had children in their 20s and are having fun now.

You had fun and travelled in your 20s and had children later.

I can't really see the difference. If you'd had children in your 20s, you wouldn't have had the experiences you did.

It doesn't matter how old you are when you have children, you still spend the same amount of time with dependent children.

There are pros and cons to both. I do wonder when people express this attitude, whether they feel it was the 'better' more virtuous decision to have children older and they expected to reap additional benefits. Because that's really not how it works.

No one im just adding to it not every one wants to party.

Unlit you hit your 30s and dont care what anyone says lol.

Who said anything about 'sleeping around' ?

Or 'pissed up' for that matter?

I had my first at 18, then two more much later. I've enjoyed parenthood far more as an older parent. It entirely depends on your circumstances.

I had my younger and honestly if I’d of waited till I was 30 I don’t think I’d of had any.

Im too selfish, to say in that other life being care free home owners traveling the world to wiping bottoms and sleepless nights no thank you.

Even now I wouldn’t have anymore as my youngest is gearing up to leave primary oldest has finished secondary again I wouldn’t go back to babies. So much work.

Im definitely enjoying them becoming older and more independent and don’t envy those in our friend group only just starting out. Very much awww cute baby now take it back 😅

I get this - I had a chaotic upbringing and often think if I had had kids first I could have learned a lot from them and being stable for them when I had energy in my youth. I also think I'd have been better at helping with school work as my brain feels like it flatlined at 42 and I now struggle to remember anything whereas in my 20/30s I remembered every subject fairly precisely. DD has GCSE's soon and I can't help her as much as I could have 10/15 years ago. I think having kids around 23-26 would have been ideal really. Enough time to work in at least one boring job and realise I should think about retraining. I'd then decide what I really wanted to do and go to uni and study harder for something I wanted to do rather than what my family did.

I didn’t have my DD until I was in my 40s and that was fine with me. My 20s and 30s were full of travel, working overseas, dating inappropriate people and generally having fun! By the time I had my DD, I’d done everything I wanted to do and was ready to be a mum. I had a good job, my own house and was financially secure. I also have tons more patience! I wouldn’t have made a good young mum!

I'm in the middle I had kids at 26 and 33, had some holidays and partying before and had a mortgage before having kids. I don't envy anyone having kids in there late 30s and 40s. My kids are 13 and 7 and Im bloody tired at 40 but my elder can now babysit for a short time so we are able to go out more now. Having a baby at this age absolutely no way and being 50+ with a teen again no way! I have friends who had kids at 20 and have more freedom now which is lovely for them but they don't own thier own home and won't have anything to leave their kids. As pp say comparison is the thief of joy. I have friends who can't have kids so we shouldn't be complaining.

exactly! I cannot think of anything worst to be a "young" grandmother 😂

Plenty time for that later, when I am interested in baking and gardening, but I am still way too young for that

I would have been a shit mother in my 20s, I had not done enough to happily put my life "on hold" and concentrate on the kids. I wouldn't have had the money to leave them every couple of months or so to go away for the weekend without them either 😂

God no.

I would have missed out on at least 15 years of my life, I would be miserable today. Being child-free was amazing, did all the usual, uni, travelling, start a career. Everything I wanted to do, I did.

No way would I have work so freely if I had to run around childcare, and the rest.
I have a house, I moved to be nearer the best school. I can't imagine the stress of renting, changing address when you have to worry about catchment and schools.

My kids could be grown up now if I had them earlier. So what? I still would not be young, would not be care free, still would have to support them through uni, properties, mariage eventually and their kids.

Dealing with schools and everything around the kids would so much easier. I was grown up enough, taken seriously enough, I always felt on an equal footing with teachers and headteacher and always have excellent relation with them.
Never involved or even seeing any of the school gate drama people keep whinging about.

Now my kids are older, I can enjoy more freedom but am still a parent, they always come first and always will.

I am also a hell of a lot fitter and healthier than in my 20s, I don't think I would have exercised that much back then.

Everything I could have done, I've done it. I wasn't bothered about doing a few child-orientated holidays later. Now I can everything else.

no because I had the best time in my 20s and 30s travelling and partying for years with zero responsibility

i now have way more money than I did back then and can still travel and afford really fun activities to do with my kids ! I spent my whole second maternity leave in Asia with kids - took the 4 year old to Disneyland on a whim a few weeks back because o could - if I had kids in my 20s I’d have had no money and been super unhappy scraping by trying to afford life

No because I got all the stuff you do in your 20s and 30s out of my system and was ready for a more family oriented life. Had more patience when I was a bit older, more mature and financially secure. I think I’d have been a terrible mum in my 20s.

What a fabulous group of friends this sounds like

It's that you are obviously not enjoying motherhood, but this too will pass.

I had mine late 20’s/early 30’s and now they are in their early 20’s and I’m menopausal. I’m glad. A couple of my friends had them in their 40’s and they are juggling teens and the menopause.

Not everyone wants to be that party person sleeping around getting pissed up.
Some do some dont.

There's no one right time, there can be a wrong time though! No matter what age you have kids, you lose out on something. Try to enjoy the positive side of having children older, a career and your own home. Not too be sneezed at.

Yes, I know a few women who became grandmothers before a few other became mothers!

My experience and views is that I had a great time in a time when traveling and going out was BIG and fun! Not that people aren’t tavelling now but it’s was so different and my money went a long way back then, bars, pubs and clubs were filled up, no iPhones and just less controlled. Can’t explain it but so much better. Many aren’t having the fun they thought they would once the kids were all grown up and everything is so expensive now. I don’t regret it for a minute and glad I had my kids in my 30’s and it’s hard, yes, but I’m at a good place now and feel so much is out of my system and I still travel and go out just my going is more national trust and kids focused but love it. 😍

I think you’re only young once. I’d hate for my kids to be having babies in their early or mid 20s. Even if they’re off your hands by the time you’re 40, you’re never going to be properly young and carefree again.

I had my first at 28, but by then I’d been to uni and done a masters, travelled the world for over a year and had a rollicking good time living and partying.

I think - as your friend pointed out to you - it is just a case of looking at someone else's life from the outside and being envious of the things they have that you don't, whilst conveniently forgetting the things you have that they don't.

'The grass is always greener' as the saying goes.

I had all my dc in my 30s, and that was just right for me.
I did so much in my 20s that shaped me, and also was able to buy our home, drive, and all those types of things that make raising a family more comfortable.

The only tiny thing I would quite like to be a bit different would be to be a bit younger when (if) Grandchildren come along (my dc, all now in their 20s, are probably not like to have dc soon either).

Every one is different and we dont all want the same thing life happens.
Im 39 in december my son is 23 in may he has his own life now with his partner.
I work a fab job that i love, i travel good mates i just love life love freedom.
Im more me now than i was in my 20s im more confident.

My sister is 40 and had hers young 1 is 22 and one is 19.
My eldest sister is 42 and hers are 4/7&18 months.

Your friend in a low page job is right. It’s much much harder to build your career later in part because your kids still need you.

once you have children you always have them. In your 20s with no kids you could throw yourself into your career. Hours were no issue. School hours, term time etc did not exist in your world

see how hard it is now for you to work with kids. Imagine how hard it would be to START your career with kids even if they are teens.