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AIBU?

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Original poster

Neighbours request

266 replies

isitmytime · 21/10/2025 15:09

This might be long so I apologise
I’ve lived in my house, end terraced, for 3 years.
neighbour was a little over friendly to begin with but much better now and we are polite and friendly but she’s no longer messaging me daily etc.

i work shifts so I’m up at 5am or coming home in the early hours. She caught me yesterday morning and asked for a quick chat and complained about noise (she’s previously said she never heard me and I’m hardly in, which is true) I don’t watch the tv at these times, I either get showered and ready for work and leave or come in get ready for bed and read a book in bed.

she’s requested the following:
no toilet flushing, shower running the tap after 11pm or use the downstairs toilet.
if I’m up early that I don’t shower in the morning or use my hair dryer.

she also moaned about me closing the car and front door, using the extractor fan when cooking, the washing machine/tumble dryer being on after 8pm and some other minor things, this is just in general not time specific.

She was most put out that I said I’m as quiet as I can be but that I won’t adhere to her request and that it’s normal living noise when in attached properties.

this morning she allowed/encouraged her 5year old to stand at my path and scream for a good 10mins while they were getting ready to leave for school. She obviously thought I was still sleeping after getting in at 2.30am but I was up and was leaving the house. The child ran in saying mum she’s just left.
AIBU to continue as normal and ignore her ridiculous request?

OP posts:
Lotsofsnacks · 21/10/2025 17:10

Omg I’m fuming for you OP! I wouldn’t be able to hold back giving her come back!! How vile using a child to retaliate!! Sounds like u living life quietly as a normal shift worker. I do not see any of the things listed you do, as anti social, just normal. It’s not as though you are making loud noises all night. Re: the parking orders she gave when moving in, you could tell her type from the off, she thinks owns the street, totally deluded

Bromptotoo · 21/10/2025 17:08

If you live in a terraced house or a semi there will be occasions where you hear neighbours. If it's TV, loud music, 'domestics' or endlessly noisy kids then there's cause for complaint.

Loos, showers and washing machines - unless bouncing around on spin at 03:00 - go with the territory.

ScrewyouJonathon · 21/10/2025 17:06

Broadbeansaresleepinginablanketybed · 21/10/2025 15:16

YANBU at all, other than maybe the hairdryer, I wouldn't use a hairdryer at 5am. I rhink it depends on the time of day for the tuble dryer too, I wouldn't use one late at night. If the daughter does it again, run outside looking concerned, reassure the daughter and tell her the police are on their way.

Yabu not to use a hairdryer in your own house whenever you like!

Dontknowwhyidoit · 21/10/2025 17:06

I would be very petty and start intermittently making loads of noise so that she knows the difference between what you were doing and how it could be. I lived in a first floor flat and had a neighbour who asked me to stop my young children walking fast around our home. I tried to accommodate and bought rugs for hallway and other rooms but they would bang on the ceiling alot so I started tap dancing in response. They soon stopped.

Neverflyingagain · 21/10/2025 17:05

It may well be noise from the other house that's attached to the other side that she is hearing. Is there a man living in that one perchance? You're maybe an easy target and you've not bowed down to her, so you are the issue - she wants to get you under her thumb.

ScrewyouJonathon · 21/10/2025 17:04

She needs to live on the moon.

LoveWine123 · 21/10/2025 17:02

She’s absolutely nuts and looking for a fight. She’s looking for a reaction from you so I’d say ignore her completely. She loses all power if you don’t give her the time of day. What a sicko.

Starlight7080 · 21/10/2025 17:02

Its good you are taking the high road. You can tell what she wants is you to complain. Its very childish. It will probably irritate her more if you dont acknowledge her behaviour. And definitely continue to do your normal things.
All of which are normal day to day things we all do. Most people I know are up by 6 getting on with the day .
She definitely sounds bored .

Original poster
isitmytime · 21/10/2025 16:59

Theunamedcat · 21/10/2025 16:42

Is it her child's school you live by? I would be tempted to complain to the school that there students are being excessively noisy on the way to school and they will pop a note in the newsletter asking for parents to be more considerate

Oh good point of it continues I will.
I’ve got nightshift the next few nights so she’ll no doubt try again with the screaming/music but my earplugs are superb and I won’t hear a thing!

OP posts:
Original poster
isitmytime · 21/10/2025 16:57

MissMoneyFairy · 21/10/2025 16:36

I wouldn't bother attempting to compromise, it won't stop, I wouldn't use a washing machine or tumble dryer at 11pm, what time do you use them.

Oh I’m not using any appliances early/late except the kettle for a coffee and I’m damn sure she doesn’t hear that.

The washing machine/drier she wants off before 8pm now this is where I know she can’t hear them as I do my laundry when I get up so anytime between 9-11 am. I don’t think I’ve ever had it on after dinner time never mind into the night.

OP posts:
Peachy2005 · 21/10/2025 16:54

She can use earplugs or white noise if she is that sensitive. You are entitled to flush your toilet and take a shower and dry your hair within your own property at will. Don’t let on to her that you use earplugs though: she will be mystified as to why you aren’t bothered by her attempts to annoy you 😂

TheatricalLife · 21/10/2025 16:54

eyeses · 21/10/2025 16:37

I think you (and you new neighbours) are in for a rude awakening.
Sound proofing is neither cheap nor easy between parts of a building that share joists or cavity walls with vents, as most semis will.

Show quote history

This is true. I work with acoustic panelling, and cheap and DIY is rarely effective. You may get some muffling, but it won't be a noise stopper at all. It's surprisingly difficult to sound proof a room entirely and lots of people spend money on it and are surprised and disappointed it hasn't worked to the degree they thought.

sueelleker · 21/10/2025 16:42

Doggymummar · 21/10/2025 16:27

Honestly, is it worth the drama? We are buying a semi-detached, moving from detached and I've already sourced acoustic panel's. They are very cheap and then you can make as much noise as you like as it will be absorbed. I'm very concerned to be good neighbour tho.

If it's bothering her that much (which I don't believe) she should be the one getting acoustic panels. She sounds like the sort of person who would report you for noise when you're away on holiday!

Theunamedcat · 21/10/2025 16:42

Is it her child's school you live by? I would be tempted to complain to the school that there students are being excessively noisy on the way to school and they will pop a note in the newsletter asking for parents to be more considerate

MyDeftDuck · 21/10/2025 16:42

WTAF! If that’s all she has to complain about then she is one very lucky, albeit batshit crazy, bitch!

eyeses · 21/10/2025 16:37

Doggymummar · 21/10/2025 16:27

Honestly, is it worth the drama? We are buying a semi-detached, moving from detached and I've already sourced acoustic panel's. They are very cheap and then you can make as much noise as you like as it will be absorbed. I'm very concerned to be good neighbour tho.

I think you (and you new neighbours) are in for a rude awakening.
Sound proofing is neither cheap nor easy between parts of a building that share joists or cavity walls with vents, as most semis will.

hididdlyho · 21/10/2025 16:36

YANBU, it sounds like she's a control freak and looking for things to get annoyed about. All of the stuff you mention falls under perfectly reasonable things to do in your home. If she makes a thing of letting her kid scream outside your house, I'd be tempted go out each time to ask if everything is ok as it sounds like the kid is hurt or in pain. Either that or wait for another neighbour to ask them wtf they're doing!

MissMoneyFairy · 21/10/2025 16:36

I wouldn't bother attempting to compromise, it won't stop, I wouldn't use a washing machine or tumble dryer at 11pm, what time do you use them.

OneFineDay22 · 21/10/2025 16:35

Is it possible her other attached neighbour has anonymously complained about her kids or her other noise and she thinks it was you?

My kids don’t wake up when we flush our own toilet and I have literally never heard a neighbour’s toilet flush in my life.

Achewyhamster · 21/10/2025 16:34

AnotherForumUser · 21/10/2025 16:15

I am impressed with your approach. Though I'd have been tempted to open a curry catering business and take up learning to play the bagpipes too.

Show quote history

I have to confess that when she told me I wasn't to play any music ever again,but played 'nothing compares 2u' on bloody loop for hours,I channeled my father (who can be a spiteful arsehole) and borrowed dps Bluetooth speaker (I may have put it on the windowsill closest to her house) and played the agadoo/birdie sing/spitting image song on loop and full blast

I did allow a friends child to come round and practice her recorder in our garden in the summer

I also noticed that the spice Taylor packets on offer at Tesco and stocked up (only way I can cook a curry and I like them as a quick easy meal-she can squeal about it being 'p*ki food as much as she likes-ive just cooked a meal)

I can be a twat-shes got no hope of forcing us out of our home (which she admitted is her end game) so I'm having fun at winding her up

If that makes me spiteful then so be it (I'm a nice person until her type flap their mouths off at me)

Whyherewego · 21/10/2025 16:33

She's escalating and it's not worth it IMHO.

Id say have another chat with her and say
" look you are clearly unhappy with my response as I can see you've decided to up the anti on the noise. How about a compromise, I will not put on the washing machine or tumble dryer overnight and I will only flush the toilet if I've done a poo. But I do need to take a shower when I get in so I cant not do that. Does that help you at all?"

You dont want to end up with batshit woman making your life a misery

StripyShirt · 21/10/2025 16:33

Doggymummar · 21/10/2025 16:27

Honestly, is it worth the drama? We are buying a semi-detached, moving from detached and I've already sourced acoustic panel's. They are very cheap and then you can make as much noise as you like as it will be absorbed. I'm very concerned to be good neighbour tho.

Soundproofing is a lot harder than that.

No5ChalksRoad · 21/10/2025 16:32

ThisCanFuckOffToo · 21/10/2025 15:27

I don’t think I’d use a hairdryer at 5 am if I lived in an attached house but the rest of her requests are completely unreasonable, as is her behaviour, obviously.

What is a person expected to do, go to work with wet hair? I can't do my hair at night and have it still look professional by morning.

Hair dryers are tantamount to white noise. Anyone bothered by them while inflicting noisy children on neighbours is batshit and not worthy of attention.

TheatricalLife · 21/10/2025 16:30

isitmytime · 21/10/2025 16:12

She Sees herself as a bit of a queen bee and likes to think she knows best about everything. When I moved in she tried telling me I couldn’t park outside on the street and had to use the allocated parking so that her partner could park there. Obviously I ignored that.
trued to tell me not to change anything in the house as the previous owners had made it perfect and it didn’t need it…it did!
i think from what I gather she’s bored. She doesn’t work but hates being stuck at home, but doesn’t want to work. All said by her so I’m assuming this is her new obsession.
I won’t retaliate but I do have limits and I’m not a walk over. I’m sure it will blow over just hopefully soon.

Sounds like ignoring and carrying on as usual is the best play as you've done it before. If she's bored, she'll probably relish the idea of a bit of drama. I'd pretend I didn't even know anything was going on and make it so boring she'll soon move on to something else. No need for retaliation. You've got better things to do than play tit for tat noise games.

KeepAwayFromChildren · 21/10/2025 16:29

Record a load of random sounds but set a device to play them when you are out or on holiday just to confuse the dull pillock.

After a while she will have to accept that the noise she is hearing is not you.

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