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AIBU?

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Original poster

Neighbours request

266 replies

isitmytime · 21/10/2025 15:09

This might be long so I apologise
I’ve lived in my house, end terraced, for 3 years.
neighbour was a little over friendly to begin with but much better now and we are polite and friendly but she’s no longer messaging me daily etc.

i work shifts so I’m up at 5am or coming home in the early hours. She caught me yesterday morning and asked for a quick chat and complained about noise (she’s previously said she never heard me and I’m hardly in, which is true) I don’t watch the tv at these times, I either get showered and ready for work and leave or come in get ready for bed and read a book in bed.

she’s requested the following:
no toilet flushing, shower running the tap after 11pm or use the downstairs toilet.
if I’m up early that I don’t shower in the morning or use my hair dryer.

she also moaned about me closing the car and front door, using the extractor fan when cooking, the washing machine/tumble dryer being on after 8pm and some other minor things, this is just in general not time specific.

She was most put out that I said I’m as quiet as I can be but that I won’t adhere to her request and that it’s normal living noise when in attached properties.

this morning she allowed/encouraged her 5year old to stand at my path and scream for a good 10mins while they were getting ready to leave for school. She obviously thought I was still sleeping after getting in at 2.30am but I was up and was leaving the house. The child ran in saying mum she’s just left.
AIBU to continue as normal and ignore her ridiculous request?

OP posts:
MeadowMouse · 21/10/2025 21:17

She is entitled to install sound proofing to her property if she can't cope with perfectly normal sounds.

RosePetals86 · 21/10/2025 21:14

C152 · 21/10/2025 18:52

Yes and no. It's unreasonable of her to make such a request, as they are just normal living noises; but I understand where she's coming from if the building is badly designed/insulated - my upstairs neighbour always put his washing on after 11pm and the noise of the spin cycle and the machine literally moving on the floor above my bedroom at 2am always jolts me out of sleep. I haven't said anything to him, as I assume he works late shifts and it's the only time to do his laundry...doesn't mean I don't quietly seethe though...

Wow sorry but a spin cycle at 2am in an upstairs flat is a P* take! I think you’d be within your rights to say something on this one!

GaIadriel · 21/10/2025 21:13

I'd be screwed if I lived in Switzerland! I'm only halfway through my gym session and always need a shower as I get really muddy at work. It's a task just cleaning myself up enough for the gym, yet alone going to bed without a shower!

Catsknowbest · 21/10/2025 21:11

There is a two word answer. What a stupid and bonkers woman!

katepilar · 21/10/2025 21:10

ZXZXZ6789 · 21/10/2025 19:56

Switzerland does not have a law that prohibits showering, but taking a shower after 10 p.m. is strongly discouraged due to noise concerns and is sometimes restricted by rental contracts. The reasoning is that the sound of running water is considered too loud and can disturb neighbors, and while some landlords may ban it, it is not a nationwide legal ban. Taking a shower is generally considered a short-duration noise, unlike running a bath, which is a longer and louder activity.

Noise concern:
Showering after 10 p.m. is discouraged because the sound of running water can be too loud and disturb neighbors.

Not a legal ban:
While there is no law prohibiting showering, some landlords include rules against it in rental agreements to prevent noise complaints

I run a shower for longer than I run a bath. Is that weird? (not a full bathtub)

GAJLY · 21/10/2025 21:06

isitmytime · 21/10/2025 19:18

Yes she does and yes I am. Not a nurse though I take my hat off to any NHS staff they have far more patience than me!

she’s just a bored stay at home mum (her words) but she also doesn’t want to work either.
there’s a Facebook page for the street and another neighbour opposite has mentioned the screaming this morning. Well they actually asked if parents going to school could “control their children” as the noise this morning was “a joke” so I’m assuming that’s what they mean because otherwise it was pretty standard noise wise.

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You should inbox her and tell her you heard it too and it was the child from number x!

DeemonLlama · 21/10/2025 21:06

If you are an end terrace then she is presumably a terrace between two other houses. Could she be hearing noise from her neighbours on the other side of her and think it is you?

GaIadriel · 21/10/2025 21:06

The problem with these types of people is that once you give them the time of day it affirms their ridiculous beliefs. Some people are just crazy but a lot of them IME won't try it if the other person has the 'don't even try it' demeanor.

Not saying that the solution is to be an arse, but once you've tried to be reasonable it's time to take the tough approach. I had a similar neighbour and ended up closing the door in her face after she became rude. She continued hammering on the door so the first time I told her I was done talking, the second time I reopened the door I told her in no uncertain terms I'd be removing her from my property using reasonable force if she didn't fuck off right now.

Not my finest moment but she disappeared like a flash and I never had another silly demand from her.

MarxistMags · 21/10/2025 21:04

The houses are clearly not well noise insulated. I never hear anything from my neighbour. If you can hear a hairdryer, that's really bad.

katepilar · 21/10/2025 20:56

SatsumaDog · 21/10/2025 19:22

So you think op shouldn’t shower before going to work? That’s ridiculous and gross.

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I wonder to what extent the whole showering in the morning is a British thing?

Frenzi · 21/10/2025 20:54

I'd be getting up half an hour earlier to do my hoovering!

OnTheBoardwalk · 21/10/2025 20:52

I was going to suggest drying your hair in another room but you are already doing that so feck her. Uncle knob head next door to me used to dry his none existence hair for 3o mins at 6 every morning that was annoying. I never complained about it, how could I

my friend lived in middle terrance so when they flushed the loo the water travelled past half the street to get to her, she used to avoid it when she could but she was never told not to flush

all the other issues are bat shit

Praying4Peace · 21/10/2025 20:47

Your neighbour is being ridiculously unreasonable

HelenSkeleton · 21/10/2025 20:40

Enrichetta · 21/10/2025 19:18

I’m up at 5am or coming home in the early hours.

I feel that if you are having showers, flushing the loo or using a hairdryer at those hours you are being unreasonable. There are countries - Switzerland comes to mind - where this would be prohibited by law.

Would it really affect your quality of life - as much as it clearly affects your neighbour's - to show a little consideration? In my view, 11 pm to 6 pm should be 'no noise', or at least 'as little as humanly possible' hours.

So you're supposed to do a 💩 and not flush the toilet? Don't be so ridiculous.

Cherrysoup · 21/10/2025 20:35

Upthenorth · 21/10/2025 15:13

No, you’re allowed to live in your house without her rules.

It’s normal living noise like you say, not like you are raving into the wee hours.

Her behaviour with her child is vile and wouldn't encourage me to be quieter.

And I’d be very firmly telling her that last bit. What a stupid thing for her to do.

zeebra · 21/10/2025 20:32

A familiar story- a batshit neighbour and why people tend to keep their distance from over zealous neighbours who are giving off bad vibes!!

EdithBond · 21/10/2025 20:31

Rise above OP.

Who knows what’s motivating her. Her requests are unreasonable unless there are serious soundproofing problems.

Of course, be considerate, as you clearly have been. But I wouldn’t get into any kind of spat. Among other reasons, it may encourage her. Best to ignore her unless the nuisance from her persists.

GentleJadeOP · 21/10/2025 20:28

isitmytime · 21/10/2025 19:12

@GentleJadeOPi don’t do it to be considerate although if I thought she could hear it I maybe would. the bedroom at the back of the house not adjoining to there’s as a “dressing room” once I’m showered I’m as far away from the adjoining walls as I can be without getting ready in my car!

the reason she is able to say she can hear things is she is a stalker knows my shift pattern. This week I was too lazy to wash my hair so it wasn’t used. But usually I use it one of my early days and hair gets put up the other one.

im honestly a quiet considerate neighbour, I even go as far as turning my car radio off or down when I turn into the street about 5-10 houses away because I like my tunes loud but appreciate no one wants to hear that very early or very late. I’ve done it since I moved in here.

Sounds like she’s just looking for trouble for some reason. Just ignore it if you can

Glitchymn1 · 21/10/2025 20:19

It’s reasonable noise, even if she can hear you. She needs to buy a nice house in a remote area.

mirrorsandlights · 21/10/2025 20:18

isitmytime · 21/10/2025 16:59

Oh good point of it continues I will.
I’ve got nightshift the next few nights so she’ll no doubt try again with the screaming/music but my earplugs are superb and I won’t hear a thing!

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What earplugs do you use, please?

Ilovepastafortea · 21/10/2025 20:16

A friend of mine has told me that, when dropping their children off for weekend visit, her ex-husband's next door neighbour came out of her house to complain about his snoring. They live in Victorian terraced property, she's moved her bed away from the party wall, put wardrobes against it But his snoring still disturbs her. She said that was one of the reasons why her ex husband is her ex. 😂

TessSaysYes · 21/10/2025 20:14

As people have said blank her from now on

Smallorveryfaraway · 21/10/2025 20:09

TheatricalLife · 21/10/2025 15:50

Just totally ignore every effort to annoy you, or smile and wave if she sees you. She'll soon get tired of it if she gets absolutely no reaction. She's an idiot.

In addition to this I'd wear big obvious headphones when she's outside making noise and make sure she sees you. Pop out and put something in the bin for example. Then smile and wave and toddle off back inside.
If she thinks you haven't noticed her efforts she might give up, eventually.
If definitely keep a diary and get a doorbell cam though.

Junebrick · 21/10/2025 20:07

Jasmin71 · 21/10/2025 15:14

She is batshit. Ignore her.

Absolutely batshit

Original poster
isitmytime · 21/10/2025 20:06

@reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson good idea, I just have. 😂

OP posts: