Neighbours request

She can F right off

Keep contemporaneous notes, times and dates of all incidents, get a door camera if you don't have one already, more cameas if possible, report to police if she tries anything else at all. At no point engage with her in any way, she is insane and she will definitely escalate if she sees she is having the desired effect.

It is not illegal to flush the loo at night in Switzerland - or anywhere else that I know of. Apartment buildings can have ‘house rules’ about excessive noise overnight and early morning, but that’s because the apartments are closer together, share plumbing etc. Even then not everyone sticks to them because guess what, Swiss plumbing and building insulation is pretty good!

That’s not the case here. Showering before going to work as a nurse seems entirely reasonable and the fact that the neighbour is trying to annoy OP by encouraging unnecessary noise shows this is not a genuine noise complaint. I live in a mid-terrace and I can hear my neighbours plenty. One is a shift worker - a nurse as it happens - and never has the sound of her getting ready for work at 5am bothered me.

Back in the early Nineties when i was a care worker i headed straight for the bath when i got home as i had been peed on at work. Years later i have bowel issues. So its unpredictable and can happen any time day or night. It cant happen to suit your bloody timetable

I feel sure she is doing this because you did not (in her eyes) pay her enough attention. She is needy and looking for recognition and validation, and when people do not give it to her and make her the centre of their world, she turns nasty.

These are narcissistic traits, unfortunately, to turn against a person in highly unreasonable and manipulative ways when she feels slighted, i.e. that you are not fawning over her the way she would like.

This is the kind of behaviour that can quickly turn malicious and physically harmful, such as scratching your car or sending anonymous notes to the neighbours about you. It begins this way.

She knows that by making complaints to you, she gets validation; you have to respond to it, somehow. This is similar to how a rejected partner can begin to seek revenge for their hurt feelings, their 'narcissistic injury.' She is doing this in part to get at you for being the bad person that you are (in not giving her lots of your time) and in part to get responses and constant contact of some kind.

She would rather have negative contact than not enough contact. So, she is dreaming up drama about which she can complain. Again, the same as a rejected, slighted partner who constantly creates problems out of nowhere, just to get the other person's response.

If I were you, I would begin evidence gathering because this is just the beginning. Write down notes of what she does, and when, times and incidents. Get photos, run CCTV 24/7, keep voice calls, and log everything. Keep a close eye on your car and any external property.

And no, you are not unreasonable; quite the opposite. Everything you are doing is normal living, and it's quiet. It isn't as though you mow your lawn at 3 a.m. And she really cannot hear these things to the level she claims, if even at all.

You have lived there for three years, and only now are these so-called noises disturbing her. It's lies and deviousness.

But the OP is a shift worker, so her (poo) schedule may well be someone else’s ’middle of the night.’

No! Reply to the FB post with 'Sorry to hear that you were annoyed by inconsiderate neighbours. It looks like I'm the only person on the street who wasn't bothered at all by the noise this morning!'

If I were you I would just reduce it bit. Nod and smile. It sounds like she's highly strung out anyway or having trouble sleeping or something. Its probably nothing to do with you. She'll probably forget about it again in time. I would just do what you can and carry on. But if you do need a shower or anything in the morning have one, maybe you could dry your hair at the opposite side of your house. I wouldn't go overboard though. If she complains a second time, then you can talk to her and put boundaries in place

Tell her to bog off.

Have just bought the ear plugs

I love the directness of the facebook poster!

if you can be arsed I would take note of all her attempts to wind you up and tell her you will report her to the police for harassment if she continues.

Yes, same - I live in a terrace house and I would not use a hair dryer, vacuum cleaner, blender or washing machine super early or late, as all those things are incredibly noisy. But obviously would shower etc.

You could pop a pair of ear plugs in a ziplock bag and nail it to her front door.
Honestly, I hope you have a ring camera because she sounds batshit crazy.

I‘d want to start collecting wind chimes.

Seriously though, do keep a diary of incidents in case there is any escalation.

This!

I live in a terrace and I dont hear a thing from my neighbours or their kids? Why are people so sound sensitive?

Her problem, not yours.

She is being controlling - but if you are coming home at unsociable hours and doing things around your home at these times - your neighbour obviously is affected by it to have to pull you to the side. Are you slamming car doors early hours of the morning or putting your washing machine on late at night? Because that would annoy me if I’m getting woken up most days by this

This would be a double fuck off from me.
She sounds a weirdo

There are exceptional circumstances. How often do you do a no. 2 in the middle of the night… Having to get up early to catch a flight would be another exception. or a baby that needs feeding, or a child who is ill. But to routinely disturb neighbours unnecessarily…?