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AIBU?

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Original poster

Neighbours request

266 replies

isitmytime · 21/10/2025 15:09

This might be long so I apologise
I’ve lived in my house, end terraced, for 3 years.
neighbour was a little over friendly to begin with but much better now and we are polite and friendly but she’s no longer messaging me daily etc.

i work shifts so I’m up at 5am or coming home in the early hours. She caught me yesterday morning and asked for a quick chat and complained about noise (she’s previously said she never heard me and I’m hardly in, which is true) I don’t watch the tv at these times, I either get showered and ready for work and leave or come in get ready for bed and read a book in bed.

she’s requested the following:
no toilet flushing, shower running the tap after 11pm or use the downstairs toilet.
if I’m up early that I don’t shower in the morning or use my hair dryer.

she also moaned about me closing the car and front door, using the extractor fan when cooking, the washing machine/tumble dryer being on after 8pm and some other minor things, this is just in general not time specific.

She was most put out that I said I’m as quiet as I can be but that I won’t adhere to her request and that it’s normal living noise when in attached properties.

this morning she allowed/encouraged her 5year old to stand at my path and scream for a good 10mins while they were getting ready to leave for school. She obviously thought I was still sleeping after getting in at 2.30am but I was up and was leaving the house. The child ran in saying mum she’s just left.
AIBU to continue as normal and ignore her ridiculous request?

OP posts:
Epidote · 22/10/2025 09:00

TheCountessofLocksley · 21/10/2025 15:17

i don’t think you need to worry too much. If she’s allowing her child to scream for 10mins outside houses one of the other neighbours will soon complain/put a stop to it.

Correct.
Just ignore her.

Cocobobo · 22/10/2025 08:39

isitmytime · 21/10/2025 16:59

Oh good point of it continues I will.
I’ve got nightshift the next few nights so she’ll no doubt try again with the screaming/music but my earplugs are superb and I won’t hear a thing!

Show quote history

Side note - what earplugs do you use please as it sounds like I need a set of these really good ones!

MikeRafone · 22/10/2025 08:35

Id text her

dear mrs neighbour

thinking about what you said the other day about noise and realise that I don't hear anything when sleeping through the day as I use these ear plugs - Ive popped a link - so perhaps they might be useful if you're also hearing lots of noise from neighbours, just thought it might be a solution for you. Ive found they work a treat as I don't hear a thing with them in.

is it passive aggressive, not sure but might make her realise that playing her music full volume and getting the kids to scream might be fruitless

Frogrex · 22/10/2025 08:25

No you are not being unreasonable. I have Misophonia so all those noises get to me but I wouldn't dream of asking you to not flush your toilet etc. I am also in an end terrace but the house next door is divided into flats so next doors living room is next to my bedroom. This was less of an issue when it was my previous neighbour as although he had a “smokers cough” that did disturb me sometimes he would eventually go to bed and so was manageable. The new neighbours have a dog they they are struggling with so shout at it a lot (poor thing) sometimes argue and always have music on quite loud so if I have gone for a lie down/some peace in the day(I have MS) it always seems to be that exact moment that the music comes on 😂 I can even hear the convo on tv shows or the Spotify person talking. The only time I have ever complained is when they had friends round with loud music til the early hours and I got up and banged on the wall and they did turn it off straight after. Some days it gets to me and I will choose to just go out as that’s my issue that I am sensitive to noise and not for them to creep around. I think they may not have even noticed they are so loud tbh as I am quiet person myself and don’t have a TV in my room to return the favour 😂

LoudSnoringDog · 22/10/2025 08:18

The best earplugs are the Noisex ones. They are like silicone and fit into the shape of your ear. I used to use them after night shifts ( nurse).

hididdlyho · 22/10/2025 08:08

It's possible she's feeling a bit shunned if you were in daily contact with her for a while and them have dialled it back a bit. If that's the case, any attention is a good thing to her, even if it means she exaggerates things you're supposed to be doing that are bothering her.

I had something similar with a neighbour. I started trying to avoid going in the garden at the same time as her as she was always complaining about the other neighbours and I was finding it intrusive and draining. On the odd occasion she managed to catch me, she started angrily accusing me of being noisy at times when noone was home. I explained this to her and asked for her to knock at my door next time she hears the sound, so we can try to work out what's causing it. She quickly backtracked and said it doesn't matter.

Poppy61 · 22/10/2025 08:03

Thank you OP, I'll give these earplugs a go

playyourway · 22/10/2025 07:54

Upthenorth · 21/10/2025 15:14

Can she genuinely hear your hair dryer that much?

Surely you hear more noise from young children if the walls are that thin?

I can hear my neighbours walking up and down the stairs! 1930s semi.

TheAmberStork · 22/10/2025 07:43

I had this. I lived in an upstairs flat worked full time and was often out in the evenings. One morning there was a hammering at the door and the woman below stood there and started shouting at me. Apparently I was so noisy...she wanted to complain to my landlord. I went into passive slightly patronizing mode and asked her what she suggested I do. I needed to work so I had to get out of bed at some stage! At this she kept complaining about me flushing the loo, and having a shower. I again replied that yes thats what I had to do in order to get ready for work. She ended up shouting abuse at me and storming off! What annoyed me was as a single woman living alone I was an easy target..theres no way she'd have yelled at a man. They were awful neighbors, and eventually left I often wonder where they ended up. The building is incredibly quiet and I doubt they'd have found anything better

Whyherewego · 22/10/2025 07:23

isitmytime · 22/10/2025 00:18

@TeaBiscuitsNaptimethats exactly what I do. I have a spare room that I use as a “dressing room”
it’s the furthest away room from hers and the opposite side of the house.
I’ve no idea why she’s complaining my routine hasn’t changed for 3years and she was forever saying, you’re never in, we hardly see you, you’re such a good neighbour etc etc
I won’t go out of my way to retaliate nor will I change what I do as I think the requests would never end

Or just respond with something vague that's aligned with what you already do such as "sure, I always try to be as considerate as possible when coming home late so will take that on board"

Original poster
isitmytime · 22/10/2025 06:43

@Francesteinoh that will be the mistake I made 😂😂 no only kidding it’s definitely earplugs

OP posts:
Francestein · 22/10/2025 06:33

@isitmytime It's definitely EARplugs, right? 😆

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 22/10/2025 06:32

Broadbeansaresleepinginablanketybed · 21/10/2025 15:16

YANBU at all, other than maybe the hairdryer, I wouldn't use a hairdryer at 5am. I rhink it depends on the time of day for the tuble dryer too, I wouldn't use one late at night. If the daughter does it again, run outside looking concerned, reassure the daughter and tell her the police are on their way.

I wouldn’t use the wash machine or dryer after 8? 9 pm if I knew what my neighbour could hear if.

but apart from that: neighbour is badshit and op is not being u at all.

Peonyperfection · 22/10/2025 06:05

Ignore, it annoys me that people living a 9-5 style life expect others to limit noise, but you can guarantee after you’ve done a night shift someone will be cutting grass or have loud music on and not think twice. Live your life, use your own hairdryer in your own house and ignore others.

iloveyoghurt · 22/10/2025 06:00

I would start getting louder , add slamming doors to your routine from today

Original poster
isitmytime · 22/10/2025 05:54

It’s these ones. There’s definitely a knack to pinching and rolling then putting them in. You kind of have to wiggle your ear to help them go in far enough.
EDIT: not sure why the photo is under review possibly the shape of the earplugs 😂

Neighbours request
OP posts:
GlassesAreOrdinary · 22/10/2025 05:30

Oh dear. I feel sorry for you.
You are dealing with madness.

PrioritisePleasure24 · 22/10/2025 04:59

I’ve got those ear plugs but they don’t stay in my ears, bit matter how i place them. They are in the bed a few hours later 🙈

DurinsBane · 22/10/2025 04:19

isitmytime · 21/10/2025 18:59

@Poppy61
@GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme
@Miyagi99
the earplugs are Howard leight ones they’re used by offshore workers and firearms officers on training they can be a bit tricky to put in I had to put them in for DP when we were on holiday but superb once you master them.
They’re the yellow and pink ones. I get them on Amazon for about £12 for 100 pairs. That lasts me about a year.

i agree with others that she is a dick and the biggest Cheeky fucker going. She absolutely thinks she rules the street. I have so many CF stories about her that make me laugh but these demands just pissed me off.
as expected the music went off just as her partner came back home, I assume because he’s normal and probably isn’t aware of her ridiculous request.

Are they these ones?

Neighbours request
LoudSnoringDog · 22/10/2025 03:55

Tell her to piss off

Puppamumma · 22/10/2025 03:46

Your neighbour leaves their terrier dog in for over 11 hours at a time it barks constantly .We wish they had never moved here

DrowningInSyrup · 22/10/2025 02:32

Unless you are being excessively noisy between the hours of 10am and 8am or she is your landlord, tell her the G2F.

99bottlesofkombucha · 22/10/2025 01:44

I work normal hours and am usually showering at midnight. Dh is up and showering at 5am, and we have 3 noisy kids. I’m also very far from a pushover, maybe you should ask us to stay for a visit 😁😁

Ratafia · 22/10/2025 01:04

isitmytime · 21/10/2025 15:43

There is no way she’s hearing the hair dryer I just put it on then went into my bedroom and I can barely hear it through the closed doors and then the noise needs to go through another room plus the adjoining wall so I’m sure she can’t hear it.

She also just put music on far louder than she ever had before, bet she’s got a speaker pushed up against the wall!

Tell her you haven't got a hairdryer then. She won't be able to contradict you.

Clutchball · 22/10/2025 01:03

olympicsrock · 21/10/2025 19:13

You need a lower maintenance style in this case. Do you need to blow dry your hair every morning? I couldn’t live like this .

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Editing because I think I misread tone. Sorry!