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AIBU?

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Ultrasound childcare

213 replies

Momofboys97 · 21/10/2025 14:51

Mondays my mom usually looks after my eldest son at my house while I'm working from home, they are both retired but we only ask them for help on one day a week.

She told me that they couldn't do one particular Monday because they had decorators come in for the entire week and both my mom and dad need to be there to move furniture around. I thought it was odd but I said that's fine I'll just work around it however I've now been referred for a growth scan for my second child and they have asked me to come on the first day of my parents decorating.

This was the first appointment available I was able to attend and without thinking I booked it, the lady on the phone was extremely rude to me about it being so far in the future but the other times were just unachievable with our other child.

I asked my parents while I knew they had decorators if just my mom could spare a couple of hours on that day to look after my eldest and they said no because they both need to be there to move furniture around for the decorator I said wouldn't your furniture have been moved the day before, still they declined and creating a drama out of the decorators coming, my last message to them was that my husband would have to miss the scan because we have no other childcare and I'll have to go my own and my own mother has completely ignored it.

I'm so upset about the lack of support here, we don't ask a lot of them compared to a lot of people I know, this is obviously an ad-hoc request but it is on a day they would normally have him anyway if it weren't for the decorators.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Momofboys97 · 21/10/2025 15:03

Doublechins · 21/10/2025 15:02

My DH never attended any of my growth scans because he was at work. Could you ask your mother to attend the scan with you if your DH is having to stay with your child

My parents said they both need to be there for the decorator to move furniture around which I can't really work out why that would be required

OP posts:
Jellybunny56 · 21/10/2025 15:02

Momofboys97 · 21/10/2025 15:01

I get this but we had such a traumatic experience in previous pregnancies in terrified to go alone and my husband doesn't ideally want to miss it either..

Then you will have to find paid childcare last minute OP.

noidea69 · 21/10/2025 15:02

Momofboys97 · 21/10/2025 14:59

I'm aware of this, the growth scan was completely unexpected and I'm only a few weeks away from my due date unfortunately so have very little time to get it in

Does you're mum know you are having a scan, thats why you want her help?

If she does & she is still prioritising helping the decorator, then thats a pisstake.

What about your in laws?

Overthebow · 21/10/2025 15:02

You knew she’s unavailable that week to help. You don’t need your DH at the growth scan, it’s perfectly fine to go by yourself and different to the 12 week scan. I had a few in my pregnancies and it didn’t even cross my mind to bring DH.

BoldBlueZebra · 21/10/2025 15:02

What’s your plan for the birth?

Coulddowithanap · 21/10/2025 15:02

Can you take him with you?

Doublechins · 21/10/2025 15:02

My DH never attended any of my growth scans because he was at work. Could you ask your mother to attend the scan with you if your DH is having to stay with your child

Momofboys97 · 21/10/2025 15:01

Jellybunny56 · 21/10/2025 14:58

YABU. She told you well in advance she was not available, it is very common to attend a growth scan alone so dad can look after the other child.

I get this but we had such a traumatic experience in previous pregnancies in terrified to go alone and my husband doesn't ideally want to miss it either..

OP posts:
Momofboys97 · 21/10/2025 14:59

takealettermsjones · 21/10/2025 14:56

How old's your child? There surely must be some solution here - swap his nursery days, ask a local childminder, one of your friends?

He's 3, we've tried the nursery unfortunately they have no availability for the date/time of the scan and we have noone else in "our village"

OP posts:
Momofboys97 · 21/10/2025 14:59

Octavia64 · 21/10/2025 14:54

Your mum told you way in advance she couldn’t do that day. She’s given you plenty of notice.

sorry

I'm aware of this, the growth scan was completely unexpected and I'm only a few weeks away from my due date unfortunately so have very little time to get it in

OP posts:
Jellybunny56 · 21/10/2025 14:58

YABU. She told you well in advance she was not available, it is very common to attend a growth scan alone so dad can look after the other child.

takealettermsjones · 21/10/2025 14:56

How old's your child? There surely must be some solution here - swap his nursery days, ask a local childminder, one of your friends?

Octavia64 · 21/10/2025 14:54

Your mum told you way in advance she couldn’t do that day. She’s given you plenty of notice.

sorry