Ultrasound childcare

Only one day of grandparents babysitting? I would love that. 🙂

You sound very entitled OP.

Your parents are welcome to say no to doing childcare whenever they want for whatever reason they want.

You think it’s “odd” your Mum wants to be around for the decorators being in. Maybe she thinks it’s “odd” that your DH wouldn’t just look after your child and you attend the scan alone.

I have four children but no parents able to do any childcare for me.

I had weekly scans in my last pregnancy as it was high risk. DH has a flexible job and could have come with me but I told him not to bother.

You do just need to get on with it I am afraid. The most important thing is you having the scan as soon as possible. Just do that.

This. They do a lot for you. It's a shame they can't be available to help out on this occasion, but I'd focus on being grateful for the help you do have.

I and many others on here could only dream of having grandparent childcare for a day a week, so honestly try and see the positive of that rather than the negative of it not working out for the scan date.

I also don't understand this bit:

the lady on the phone was extremely rude to me about it being so far in the future but the other times were just unachievable with our other child.

If your child is in childcare every other day why weren't any other days viable?

Please don't bring your first to the appointment.. They not even allowed in the hospital waiting room in the hospital I had dd. although your dh could sit in the hospital cafe. Dh stays at home with his first child so easy solution.

Fair enough they didn’t say 12 week scan but I still wanted my husband to come to them all if possible so I still find it odd. Maybe I was just more anxious than most. I was certain I was going to get bad news.

You should try re-reading the post. They did not say what you think they did.

Sorry OP, but I think YABU, even though it is unfortunate. Has your DS got any friends who he might be able to do a play date with?

Yabu. Your mum said she couldn't do it. Solution would be dh stays with your first or any of your mum friends able to do it

I know most are saying yabu but I can’t imagine my mam and dad not helping in this scenario. Grandparents obviously don’t have to help but I like think when mine is grown up if I can help her I would. As you’ve mentioned you’ve had trauma in pregnancy before so I can only imagine how anxious the scan might be for you. Hopefully you get it sorted.

I’m sorry OP, it sucks to feel that way. Surely one of the main benefits of having a healthy parent-child relationship is that you can rely on each other, support each other, and help each other out. This situation is perhaps a sign that the relationship is not so healthy, and so that’s a double dose of disappointment. I’ve been there op, sympathies!

Who was going to mind your child if you didn't have the scan booked and you were at work? Or are you on maternity leave?

Your parents aren't being very helpful are they? You are not being unreasonable about that.

Assume they'll be available when you go into labour though?

This leaves very few options doesn't it? My hospital had a limit on the number of people you could bring to scans (1 adult) as well as a no child policy so DH and older child in waiting room wouldn't have been an option.

That said other than 12 week and anomaly scans I went alone precisely so I didn't have to worry about who would have the other kids!

One day a week childcare is a huge commitment from them. I'm very surprised you feel you don't ask much of them and seem dismissive of their time.

YABU. It's a shame they can't help out, but they aren't unreasonable to prioritise their needs, however irrational you find it. They gave fair warning and ultimately it was your mistake.

I hope all goes well with the scan and baby.

It didn’t cross your mind to bring your husband to your 12 week scan? I find that bizarre. Fair enough if he genuinely can’t make it but surely the ideal is to go together? Plus I know a few people who got bad news at that scan so would be awful to be alone if avoidable.

You know this is Mumsnet, right? My in-laws are in their 70s and in pretty fantastic health for their age, but that can change so quickly. My husband prefers to come with me for all my pregnancy scans because he wants to see his baby and he wants to support me. Having no choice and getting on with it is one thing, but if someone ever had the stones to tell me to suck it up and/or put my big girl pants on, they'd have me swearing like a sailor.

YABU and sound entitled.

Your mum has things on that are stressful for her. I don’t have any support so I would suggest
a) go alone and just cope with the stress from last times trauma
b) pay for childcare (always important to have sourced paid childcare for when needed)
c) take husband and child. They stay handy with you until apt time then just go for a walk nearby and meet you afterwards. In emergency dh can get to you in 5 mins, if all ok you can go for cakes and tea afterwards all together and celebrate

Think I would rather they be looked after by a parent or family and not a random stranger. Attendance to scans is small in the scale of things with regards to parenting.

Sometimes it just isn't possible.

I would want my husband there too, but you still can’t disrespect your mother’s time. She set a pretty simple limited boundary after consistently being very generous with her time.

I don’t quite understand the squeezing in the growth scan issue. If it can’t be managed, then won’t the doctors just be able to see the baby in person? If it was critical that it be done before the baby is delivered, it seems unlikely they would not have done it immediately if timing is getting that tight.

Being honest although I don't agree with it they don't have to offer childcare. They can say no.

Book a babysitter through a reputable agency or someone recommended by a friend.

Ring up to see if there’s been cancellations