Ultrasound childcare

I totally understand why you feel upset OP
I think your request is fair and reasonable

But it's not an emergency! You are being feeble!
I dislike your entitled attitude to your parents a lot. They give you a whole day a week childcare and loads of notice they couldn't do that day. You forgot and now it's an emergency and their fault!
Woman up, for God's sake!

I think everyone has told you you are being unreasonable to insist your parents look after your child when they have said no and have other things they want to. Accept in and make arrangements as others have suggested.

your husband and child can drive with you/catch the train, you go in for the scan then you all go home together.

make a day of it/lunch/coffee abd cake etc.

I did all my scans in my own so I could head to the office afterwards.

Why do you need your husband to go with you?
I did all of mine alone, he was at work, it was fine

Because they might not think it appropriate for the decorator to move items of furniture and they might not want to risk hurting themselves by doing it alone…….hence they are working together. Some decorators request furniture to be moved prior to them arriving to do their job.

Maybe pay for a private scan at a time that fits better if they only had those two choices on the NHS

I sympathise with you as its a pain in the arse, but your parents don't owe you their time. If they prefer to be at home to oversee the decorators thats absolutely their choice & you have no right to judge them for it.

For the future its a good idea to reduce reliance on your parents by getting your child used to babysitters.

Your parents are allowed to feel that they need two of them there for the decorator and allowed to stick to a routine if they want to. They've given you plenty notice of their plans.

Honestly OP if you're struggling with this now, it's about to get a whole lot harder with 2 kids. A lot of it is dividing and conquering and you can't expect everyone to drop their plans to accommodate you. The reality is a lot of people have to just suck it up as they don't have grandparents to support with childcare. I don't think my husband came to any of my growth scans as there was times he had to do childcare. I certainly wouldn't have been directing my anger at my parents for not changing their plans.

Why is the suggestion of asking a friend to come with you to the scan and support you not an option?

This ^
and we are not unsympathetic OP we are just reasonable and realistic.

Yep. My last pregnancy was a right pain in the arse, I was sick to death of scans right up till near the end. But I had 2 other kids so went by myself. It's life with more kids under your belt.

From the sounds of it, the parentals have a strict routine and they'll be feeling anxious about it changing and having people in the house. Ample notice has been given, there was another date it could have been done but wasn't taken. That says it's not urgent, so I can not think they're out of order.

You can't take shit for granted in life.

I mean so many people have no choice op - my husband never came to a single scan of our second child as we had nobody to mind our bigger girl - the nursery was far from hospital and it just never worked out time wise that he could be there !

i had weekly growth scans towards the end too and I just had to go alone unfortunately.

I had to go in for monitoring in the middle of the night 3 times too and he couldn’t come either.

It’s the case for so many woman is you’ve actually been quite lucky to be able to have him there for all previous scans tbh

Because it’s not transactional. They cared for us for 18 years and life is quite complicated at times so people don’t always have the mental capacity to do what they are ‘expected’ to.

If they were unwilling to help you why help them now?

OP can’t be that concerned about it as she doesn’t want to cancel her weekend away so is delaying the scan to a date where the hospital are annoyed that it’s left so long. It’s not an emergency in OPs view.

So its ok for op and her husband to prioritise a weekend away to delay the scan but the parents cannot prioritise their existing decorating plans?

For whatever reason, they dont want their grandchild there whilst decorators are there. Their decision

If having dh at the scan is so important then op and dh need to take the weekend appointment and cancel their trip

The decorator will not move furniture. If space is small they may have to move things back and forth. Is OP OK with her dad shifting heavy cupboards. Large TVs books ornaments etc on his own.

Yanbu your parents are batshit.

They don't both need to be there the whole time, and why the fuck aren't they worried about you needing a growth scan? Why wouldn't they help?

This.
The child will do fine with a babysitter.

Yes, and delaying one could make all the difference. Though I’m not sure how long the OP is putting the appt off to prioritise both her dh being there and a weekend away over her unborn child. But everyone has different priorities and can make their own choices.

Hardly. Growth scans are done when there are concerns that the baby isn't growing properly so there can often be bad news at these scans so OP would like to her her DH there for support if the news isn't good.

Sorry if I’ve missed it but could they mind him at theirs, like is there anywhere he could sit and watch something on a tablet while they do whatever needs to happen for the decorators?

And if paid childcare is an option on other dates it’s worth trying to move the appointment. Or ask around for other babysitters etc, can a nursery friend recommend anyone?

I don’t think your parents are being unreasonable here to be honest, they have a commitment and are probably stressed out about the day themselves and think you should be able to make alternative arrangements.

Any tradespeople I’ve had in recently have been very particular about needing furniture moved from one spot to another - it’s not their job to do it. I would imagine it would take two people to move pretty much anything and if they’re short on space they’ll need to move things through the day. Just go to the scan on your own, you’ll be fine.

I think despite what you clearly think. One day a week childcare every week is actually quite a lot of support. She told you ages in advance that she couldn't do one particular date and you forgot and booked in and now you're annoyed with her which seems really unfair to me. Her reasons are valid to her. Your husband will just have to miss this one scan,

But it isn’t unfair because she has other childcare. She just refuses to use it.