Ultrasound childcare

@Momofboys97

It sounds like your parents are rather anxious which is why they stick to their routines and can’t cope to deviate.

I hope the scan went well, and that you have a lovely time away before the big change. I think that was a lovely idea!

It sucks but your husband will have to miss the scan. My husband attended 0 scans with our 4th because of childcare. It was a huge ask to get my mil to have our 2 youngest when I went in for my cesarean! I nearly had to go that alone

I don't understand you're not willing to be flexible with your plans but your parents must be with theirs to fit around yours.

Growth scans are for the most part not an emergency, I went to most of mine myself and I've had traumatic pregnancies and multiple miscarriages.

I can't believe the entitlement of yourself and some people. It's as if when your parents are retired, they are simply not allowed a life of their own or to make any plans at all as they must be on standby by 24/7 to provide childcare at the drop of a hat. Failure to do so means they can't possibly have any help when they are older.

Wants it removed because she doesn't like the answers she is getting. 🤷

I can't believe how nasty a lot of these posts are! I don't think you're unreasonable at all @Momofboys97 it sounds like you've offered your parents lots of ways they could make it work without impacting their plans too much and for something important like a scan you'd think they'd make more of an effort to help out.

I hope your scan goes well 💐

You’re being dramatic. ‘Scared to go alone’?!? It’s just a scan. Your mum is probably fed up with your drama too. Just let your husband look after your child - he could even come with you in the hospital for support afterwards if you’re concerned as children are allowed in hospitals, just not in the room itself when you're having the scan. What a load of fuss about nothing. It is not like you’re a single parent.

Yes I read the post abd suggested her husband help with the furniture moving. Assuming, rightly or wrongly, he may be in a physically more able state to move furniture than her mum.

But did you not read my whole reply? I also suggested husband and child go with her and wait in the waiting room.

Not sure you you're being so snippy at me? 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦‍♀️

That means you are extremely entitled, and ungrateful to your parents. OP screwed up, that doesn't make her lack of babysitter an emergency for her parents, who warned her weeks before, they would be busy, period.

Because decorators charge more to move furniture.

Did you not read the post? Her parents are booked! They have something already planned for the day, they warned OP about. Something costing them lots of money.

So you feel entitled to free child care.....

They are busy. You f'd up scheduling your appointment. That doesn't make it your parents responsibility to change their plans, for you. Your husband can watch your child. Your plans are not more important than theirs.

I went to 10 growth type scans with my first due to a serious risk, I just went alone as my DH was at work, most people I know do. Your DH could bring your child to the hosp and wait outside for moral support. The actual scan is only a few minutes and your toddler might be a nice distraction if you are fretting.

Upsetting? She just needs to go alone to her scan that's all.

Can you not go with a friend

It's disappointing OP, i understand you want DH there but it doesn't sound possible now. Better its a growth scan rather than the 12 or 20 week scan and you sound close to due date which makes it more positive.

I think your original post has probably thrown people by reading a little ungrateful for the help you get on a regular basis. I'd love to have my parents look after my children for a few hours but poor health means they cant, plenty of people in worse positions.

I'd take DH and DS with you and they can wait in the waiting room if I was in your position. Good luck!

This wouldnt work. The private scan won't plot onto the growth charts that have been produced by the NHS scans and it won't pick up any concerns with growth.

I would speak to the scan department and ask them what they suggest. I work in a scan dept (as a midwife not a sonographer) and we will absolutely help out if there are no options for childcare as it's more important that you attend for the scan. However I do find sonographers aren't as accommodating always and they may say that your DH could look after your child whilst you have the scan. It's worth a go though, especially if you explain your anxieties from your last pregnancy and why you feel.you need you need DH there.

It's unfortunate but for whatever reason to do with their decorating must be important for them. It's difficult with young dc and childcare with work and appointments, especially when tied to one nursery and them not having availability i know!

One solution is for dh to take ds and still both go and he will at least be outside the door? I would probably just go on my own and had to for most appts of this nature, you could record the procedure on audio? Xx

I think the problem is that you’re upset that your parents are unwilling to compromise, but nor are you - with another planned activity - leaving later etc, not going on your own or asking a friend (you cite close friends hopefully some are local). Unfortunately sometimes you have to cut your coat to suit your cloth, especially with 2 as it’s man to man marking.
That being said I hope you find a solution, perhaps a cancellation might be available?

It does grind my gears that trusts are so awful and almost punitive about siblings and appointments / scans - as for women who are child bearing age - who are pregnant the chances of them having other children and sometimes unavoidable childcare issues is very high - it is highly likely vulnerable women / single parent families could be turned away from accessing timely or safe care because of this policy. Where I trained many moons ago and where I had my babies (NO SIBLINGS) differed. I’m not saying you are that but it is a worry - and my trust are just getting the scope for their big investigation into their maternity services (leeds). (I’m a nurse not a midwife now)

But as you say, everybody’s different. You didn’t need to be there when you had decorators in but that doesn’t mean your parents don’t feel they both need to be there. Lots of people on this thread have pointed out they were able to attend their growth scans alone, you feel you want your husband there.

Why is it unreasonable for your parents to both want to be home for the decorators, something they informed you of well in advance, because in the same situation you’d find it unnecessary but completely reasonable for you to want two people at the scan despite many people finding it unnecessary in the same situation?

If you want people to accept that everybody’s needs are different then you need to accept your parents needs might differ from your own. For them getting the decorators in is a big deal, even if to you it would be minor, just like to you a growth scans alone is a big deal even though to many people it’s routine and minor. Your needs don’t trump theirs, especially as you had other options for the date you just didn’t want to go with them because they weren’t convenient to your plans!

I went to all scans for my second child alone for this reason (husband and elder child waited outside for support). It was absolutely fine!

Yabu

They told you they weren't available, you then asked them again and they told you again they weren't avaliable. Then you text them trying to emotionally blackmail them into dping childcare.

You have childcare - your husband!

I grew up in the south Wales valleys. It was completely normal for people to have grandparents and multiple aunts, uncles, cousins etc. within walking distance, and for the children to be in and out of relatives houses constantly.

We didn't have relatives quite that close, but my sister and I spent a lot of time with our grandparents, stayed over with one of our aunts, or had our cousins over ours.

We only have DS, but if in the future I have a DiL and she needed childcare for an extra scan I would absolutely do my best to help out.

I posted similar years ago.
Except my mum was at home and still didn't help
(Was having scans once a week)
Was told it was my fault for having more children

It really does suck when it dawns on you that your parent/s just don't want to help.

I had no other option but to go alone, all scans and extra monitoring I was completely alone