Am I right to think people with easy babies have no idea!

I had my easy baby as my second child. It was like a totally different experience to having my first baby. Thankfully I had my high needs baby first, otherwise I would have been insufferable if I’d had my second first and imagine it was all my great parenting 😂

I had a difficult first baby and couldn’t understand how people enjoyed the newborn stage. I was just wishing time away. It git gradually better and She became so much fun around 8 months.

now my 2nd is in newborn phase and is SO EASY. I’m having a lovely time watching loads of tv, I kid him down and make soup from scratch ha. Wildly different experience!

I cant read the comments as I fear they'd annoy me too much!

Because of course, you're right.

Having a whiny, high needs baby is hell, totally hell.

But ours has turned into the most caring compassionate and loving child in the world so was totally worth it!

Hang in there

I feel that mums’s that breastfeed find it harder than the ones that bottle feed. I might be very wrong but this is my experience with mums around me.

Have you explored a milk allergy? I know how difficult having a whingey baby was and it makes you want to stay in all day every day but please don’t.

So I will be brutal and I apologise for this!!

You have no idea what other people are going through. They ALL have difficult stages!! You are not a rubbish mum, motherhood is bloody hard. Some stages are easier for some than others.

My son was a really whiney baby? finally diagnosed with CMPA and he was a different baby.

My daughter was a really easy baby but my goodness we have just the toddler stage 😳

It is hard, it is exhausting and it will get easier!! It is so rewarding at times and literally sucks the life from your at others.

The 4 month stage is one of the hardest stages. It’s not easy at all. You get less support because the baby isn’t a newborn anymore, they’re going through sleep regressions and massive milestone changes including growth spurts. So sleep and everything else changes. They also tend to get clingier AND sometimes either want to feed more OR start doing a nursing strike (if breastfeeding).
Everyone who has met my baby says they’re so easy going and calm, but that’s because I run myself ragged tending to her every need all the time.
You are not alone, the whinging is incessant and sooooo incredibly annoying and hard to cope with, as is the lack of autonomy and independence you have.
all I can say is, it does get better, hang in their mumma. Use every bit of support you have going, don’t turn any down even down to someone offering to hoover. Try and get out as much as you can (babies just being outside is stimulating for them and means you don’t have to think of things to do with them, plus it takes you away from cabin fever and looking at all the things you need to do at home that you can’t do). Try and baby wear as much as possible and give yourself grace. Take regular breaks just to another room for a minute once they’re safe.
xxxx

Colicky or whiney babies are a different breed. The difference between my first who had horrendous colic, and my second who does not, is so incredibly stark.

I had twins and one was so chilled, the other was such hard work. Hated anyone even looking at her apart from me and her dad, couldn’t be put down, didn’t sleep, didn’t nap, reflux, whiny the lot. I couldn’t enjoy the easiness of the other one unfortunately! When she hit 4 she completely changed. She’s now hilarious, chilled and so so lovely. It’s her sister with the attitude now 😂 they change and I found age 3-6m the hardest because they just want to be sat up or on you constantly. Things get much easier when they can move on their own

My"fussy baby" actually had CMPA, he was like a new baby when he went on prescription milk, he still wasn't an easy baby but he was a dream from 18mths old .... my 2nd born was the easiest baby, slept 20hrs a day...she's now 3 and she's been horrendous since she was 2, I hate going anywhere with her as she just has full blown tantrums , won't sit still

My first baby was so easy she took her milk, slept all night and was always smiling. I thought this is nice I'll have another. My second DC was a difficult baby with projectile vomitting. I breast fed him then he'd vomit up most of his feed and I'd have to feed him any milk I had left but I was always worried he might still be hungry. The vomiting did not stop until he was about 8 months old. This DC also had ADHD and honestly he was like a whirlwind. I did not have a third DC until he was 7 and at school. 3rd DC again dream baby happy and slept all night from about a month old.

Every baby is different and I don't believe for a second anyone has a 'perfect' baby, we all get fustrated at some point!
my first was colicky, reflux, didn't sleep well at all, cried a lot unless we were out in the pram 😂 got better as she was able to to more herself but even now at nearly 4 she has a tendency to cry easy 🙈
my second I'm so thankful he's so easy in comparison, he's 7 months now and can happily play on the floor a little while, still wakes at night but is easily boobed back to sleep, smiles at others instead of cries. I still get frustrated at the odd times though it's not all sunshine

it gets better, then you'll wish they were little again

I feel you so hard. My first was an easy baby and a joy!

BUT I had a non sleeper. FOMO, did not sleep without a break, (normally 5-6, but 2-3 minimum as he got older) until he was almost 5. I lived on fumes, caffeine and I was on the verge of burn out every single day.

Those people with babies who are sleepers. The rage due to unsolicited advice. I'd tried EVERYTHING multiple times..nothing worked because he was a non sleeper and they had no concept their miracle advice wasn't specifical that had a baby with a innate propensity for sleep!

Sorry your struggling, it can be relentless! X

My lovely pal used to boast of what a great sleeper her 12hr-straight-sleeping-daughter was. I didn’t punch her, thought did cross my mind tho! 😵‍💫😆

Just to add you are doing your best and allways will and just keep that in mind in the low moments. You will and probably do have amazing day or hours or minutes to be proud of your self and your baby rember these in the bad times. Us moms and single dads out there with any child easy or hard you learn on the way eveyone makes mistakes or thinks they have but it all normal and individual to you and your life none else's. You are doing fab

DS1 hated being a baby.
He got better and better. Started crawling (5 effing months old), and improved. Started talking, and we discovered what a fabulous personality he had hiding behind the constant screams.
He is now a teenager, and absolutely fabulous. He came home from school last week with chocolates from the staff from demonstrating kindness. When someone at his scouts group asked how to do well, they were told to "be more like Wood Junior". So it's not just us who think he's ace.

It's just a stage. It will all change. And at some point t it will be you breezing through that stage of parenting while others hit their issues. Its just your first!!

Yes lovley has many have said all babies and children are the same. Some grow out of it some dont. I dont want to type my whole experience as tbh i had only 1 and got strealised at 30 because of my experiences . It traumatised me for life . But there is allways light at the end of your tunnel, when that is none of us can say but know this,ignore the others that say it cant be that bad,you are exaggerating,babies are easy blah blah blah . Take it day by day . Set your expectations lower not by what other people suggest they should be doing or what you should be doing . Lowering expectations may help you feel less of im been a shit mom and im usesless . As trust me 15 years on my son still makes me feel like this some weeks. But i know deep down i have done eveything i possibley could and will alwways. And as long as you do your best they dont rember anythjng when they older apart frkm you trying your best or not .
But also the ones that do offer genuine help take it and dont feel guilty . They dont see there comments as hurtfull because they had easy babies.
And evan at 4 months call health visitor back out they can go theough with you sometimes better than a doc of your daily routine wich will help you see you are doing eveything right some of these health visitors have old tricks up there sleves that just work and u think why disnt i think of that . But aswell yes ask about alergies with formula evan if a grandparent has stumach issuies and things just because u have not the baby may because its in the family best to go with professionals and tick evey box u possibly can ( i had this issuie also took 6 years before anyone noticed because i didn't have the food allergy they did not question alergies but relatives both sides did he could have not sufferd all that time)

First DC was an absolute nightmare. Didn’t sleep for longer than an hour or so until 18 months. Was always crying, whining, wanting to be held. I watched on in envy at my friends with their chilled out easy babies. Thought I was rubbish. In hindsight they had gastro issues which must have been causing pain as we spent many years from potty training dealing with bladder and bowel issues. Has been the best and easiest teenager in the history of the world.

Second DC was the easiest baby and toddler ever. So chilled, happy, easy to please. Just adorable in every which way. An absolutely fucking awful teenager now, I could happily give them away.

it’s all luck.

I was going to write the exact same as you, this is exactly what happened to me with my 2!
100% luck of the draw!

😂😂 I can look back on it and laugh now. But at the time?!
I was just completely at my wits end. I’d finally get her settled after a whingy, fussy couple of hours, she’d fall asleep…..the fart would happen and we’d be right back at square one 🫠😂

I agree with the lady who said all babies are different, you get what you get and there's no returns or trade-ins. That being said, I also firmly believe that you weren't given more than you can handle. Keep telling yourself, " You're Stronger than you Think, You're More Loving than you Think, and and You're More Blessed Than You Think!" Your baby 's character is not the only one's being built right now. Best Wishes to you and your Baby

SilverStateLady Your remark about your DD farting in her sleep struck a chord with me! This is exactly what my DGD would do,then spend the next hour whingeing about it!

Tell me about it! My DD (now 42 and an absolute angel!) was a nightmare as a baby. She never seemed stop whinging and crying from the moment she was born. I got very little sympathy from anyone,health care professionals or other mums. Was just told she'd 'grow out of it',which thankfully by the time she was a year old,she did. She didn't sleep through the night until she was a year old. Then we had a repeat performance when my DGD was born,19 years ago. Turned out she was lactose intolerant and had acid reflux. But even when this issues were addressed, when she was 6 weeks old,she really wasn't much better. My daughter was living with me at the time, and I can honestly say that for the first 4 months of DGD's life,we didn't have a single dinner time that was uninterrupted by screaming and crying. Evenings were definitely the worst. Again,my DD received little sympathy from anyone (except me!),was just told 'some babies are like that'. She didn't really settle until she was 9 months old and the acid reflux eased off because she was upright a lot more of the time. So you do have my sympathy OP. Strangely,both my D and DGD are only children!

I really feel you on this, my daughter was like this - she’d only contact nap so was stuck to me from morning until night and then throughout the night because she was breastfed and her sleep was horrendous. She whinged and cried a lot of the time in the day and I found it so difficult. I felt like every other baby was happy and chilled expect mine and it used to make me want to scream when my friends talked about how easy it all was. She’s nearly 2 now, she’s still extremely clingy to me and I found going back to work a bit of a god send to be honest because I felt like I had some time to be me again… (mum guilt for thinking that!). I have a day off in the week with her and obviously weekends, and things are becoming easier in some ways as she can communicate more and days out are becoming a lot more enjoyable, although we usually have at least one massive tantrum in public every time 🙃. It completely puts me off having another in all honesty because I’m scared the next will be even worse… feel like I’ve lost the point of this post now but I just wanted to say you’re not alone in your feelings at all

If my third baby had been my first….i probably would have been one of those people 🫠
She was just the most chilled little thing, right from the get go. She was easy to feed, slept reasonably well, hardly ever cried - just all-in-all and easy baby and that has continued through toddlerhood and early childhood. She’s just a really easy kid to parent.

My first?!!
Such an uptight baby. She was the type who’d fart in her sleep, scare herself awake with said fart and then scream about it for the next hour 🫠🫠 She didn’t sleep well, I had no idea what the hell I was doing, and I just look back on her first year of life and remember the stress, the self-doubt and just generally feeling pretty shit about myself and my abilities as a mother. She’s a pre-teen now, and while she’s still quite a highly-strung kid, she’s grown to be an all around lovely person - so I can’t have done too badly during her early years when I was a frazzled mess.

All babies are different OP. I had one very uptight, fussy baby. One medically complex baby which brought a whole different set of challenges, and then one baby who was so laidback she was horizontal 🤷🏻‍♀️
And babies also go through phases - your baby might be in the super fussy phase right now and then suddenly mellow out a few months down the line. My eldest actually chilled out a lot around the 6 month mark when she was started to sit up and learn to crawl and had mastered picking things up. Maybe she was just bored before that? I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️