Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH sleeping on sofa to avoid crying baby

136 replies

Thisuserwilldo · 21/10/2025 09:10

Can I ask for your thoughts on this please:

-DH and I have a DS who is now over 1
-He has never slept through the night, but has improved a bit waking once or twice only, with the odd awful night with multiple wake ups
-He is in a cot and comes in with us if/when we can’t settle him back (which is often)

DH is now saying he is struggling to cope at work with the sleep deprivation so on the two days where I am not working in the week, he has decided he should sleep on the sofa on the prior nights to ensure he is fresh for work. I then look after DS the following day.

We don’t have a spare bedroom other than where DS sleeps.

Do you think this is fair or DH should help on those two nights too? He is great at all other times I should say

OP posts:
2Rebecca · 21/10/2025 09:17

Age 1 I would be sleep training.

YodasHairyButt · 21/10/2025 09:17

LapinR0se · 21/10/2025 09:15

I think for the sake of everyone, including your child, you should sleep train your one year old and try to get everyone a better night's sleep

There you go OP, problem solved.
🙄

Mandylovescandy · 21/10/2025 09:17

What happens when he wakes? While wake ups were still for a feed I did them all and had no issue with DP sleeping in another room as no point in us both being tired and he couldn't really help. Once we were past that stage and wake ups were less regular he definitely did his fair share. I think it is fine but agree it might be good to see if you all can work to improve the sleeping through

Original poster
Thisuserwilldo · 21/10/2025 09:16

LapinR0se · 21/10/2025 09:15

I think for the sake of everyone, including your child, you should sleep train your one year old and try to get everyone a better night's sleep

We have done training which saw the initial improvements as it was previously hellish night after night. It’s more challenging now as he can stand against the side of the cot and will stay there for as long as is needed until picked up.

OP posts:
curious79 · 21/10/2025 09:15

Honestly, I think it’s just pragmatic. It’s one thing walking round with a one-year-old in a blurred state of sleep deprivation, it’s quite another putting in a full day of work. That’s not to say you’re not working but it is possible, as we all know, to be zombie like and parent a child.

Is it worth co sleeping with him for awhile, getting a little bed that sits at the foot of yours or by the side? Maybe he feels lonely? I slept with my daughter for a long time. And before everyone leaps in, co sleeping is perfectly normal in many many cultures.

curious79 · 21/10/2025 09:15

Honestly, I think it’s just pragmatic. It’s one thing walking round with a one-year-old in a blurred state of sleep deprivation, it’s quite another putting in a full day of work. That’s not to say you’re not working but it is possible, as we all know, to be zombie like and parent a child.

Is it worth co sleeping with him for awhile, getting a little bed that sits at the foot of yours or by the side? Maybe he feels lonely? I slept with my daughter for a long time. And before everyone leaps in, co sleeping is perfectly normal in many many cultures.

LapinR0se · 21/10/2025 09:15

I think for the sake of everyone, including your child, you should sleep train your one year old and try to get everyone a better night's sleep

Original poster
Thisuserwilldo · 21/10/2025 09:15

Agix · 21/10/2025 09:12

Do you work too?

Yea the other three weekdays

OP posts:
Bineganzeameendee · 21/10/2025 09:14

Agix · 21/10/2025 09:12

Do you work too?

She works 3 days, it's right there in the OP.

I think it's fair to be honest, @Thisuserwilldo , you have those 2 days off to nap if you need to

Agix · 21/10/2025 09:12

Do you work too?

ByeByeThyroid · 21/10/2025 09:12

do you get 2 days off when he’s off work ?

Swipe left for the next trending thread