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AIBU?

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Original poster

To date a 28yo?

85 replies

Cougarintown · 20/10/2025 22:40

Last week I went on a night out with some work colleagues. I got a bit tipsy and ended up flirting with one of my colleagues who is 28! We ended up kissing. The next day I just put it down to an embarrassing event and pretended like it never happened.

We were in a meeting together today and later this afternoon he text me and asked if I wanted to go for a drink. I didn't respond and a bit later he messaged me saying he meant like on a date.

I shouldn't should I? He's just so young.

We're both single, I'm not looking for a serious relationship and I suspect he isn't either (he was previously in a very long term relationship with 2 kids).

There's no concern about dating someone I work with, my issue is purely the age gap.

OP posts:
Skippydoodle · 21/10/2025 21:11

Go girl, nothing to loose! I’m 50, so the thought of a mid 30’s guy fancying me would be quite remarkable 💕

Buttcraic · 21/10/2025 21:03

Funsponge here - maintain allure and dignity, be flattered, but dont shit on your own doorstep at work!? Unless you're not that attached to the job. This could backfire in all sorts of ways in future.

Missj25 · 21/10/2025 21:01

Cougarintown · 21/10/2025 18:56

I've said yes, and we have a drink booked in for Thursday

🙌 ..
Enjoy X

Original poster
Cougarintown · 21/10/2025 18:56

I've said yes, and we have a drink booked in for Thursday

OP posts:
MoominMai · 21/10/2025 18:49

I’ve read many threads on here about women in their late 20s dating men in their early-mid 40s - so not sure why that can be reversed. Go for it! 🙃

coxesorangepippin · 21/10/2025 01:34

Just go

BauhausOfEliott · 21/10/2025 01:08

He’s 28, not 16. He’s a grown man and a father of two. You’re adults. Do what you like.

TheSilentSister · 20/10/2025 23:59

Oh OP, I really hope you go for it. What's the harm. Just a drink, see where it leads. When I was doing OLD, I dated a couple of guys who were quite a bit younger than me. It was interesting, could never see a long term future with it, but glad I did it. Cougar was never mentioned once, it was like they really didn't think age mattered, which is fair enough to them, different when you're the older one!

Poppyseeds79 · 20/10/2025 23:52

Buxusmortus · 20/10/2025 23:34

Depends if there could be awkwardness at work.
Also depends on whether you don't mind being one of the sexual things he's got on his list after the breakup of his long relationship i.e. fucking a much older woman.

I don't think men necessarily think of it like that? Yes, a lot of men do have the fantasy of older women when they're younger. But basically I'm sure OP can hold down a better conversation than possibly most 25yr olds with no kids that he knows?

I'm not saying he wants to set up home with her (100% sure OP doesn't either 😅). But when you already have kids it'd be awful to date someone your age when younger I'm sure who doesn't?

Because surely they'll likely be wanting to go out when you can't, and possibly thinking about future children when it's at a zero on your own radar?

mummymissessunshine · 20/10/2025 23:44

Go for it. Have some fun

DurinsBane · 20/10/2025 23:41

DurinsBane · 20/10/2025 23:29

Ah ok sorry, I thought it was a term some women used. I was thinking of ‘Cougar Town’ etc

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I have just noticed the OPs username though 😆

Buxusmortus · 20/10/2025 23:34

Depends if there could be awkwardness at work.
Also depends on whether you don't mind being one of the sexual things he's got on his list after the breakup of his long relationship i.e. fucking a much older woman.

Poppyseeds79 · 20/10/2025 23:30

I think the fact that you both have kids a similar age has a bearing on it too though. He's more unlikely to be a young 'lad about town', as he'll have his own childcare responsibility to juggle, and let's face it kids do indeed make you grow up fast (hopefully!).

The guy is practically 30, and what's wrong with having some fun with someone you're attracted to 🤔

Realistically you could go for one date and think no, this isn't for me. Or you could really hit off and have a great time. You'll never know unless you take the plunge though.

DurinsBane · 20/10/2025 23:29

harveythehorse · 20/10/2025 23:25

This is such an awful way to talk about a woman. You know it stemmed as a way to bash women???

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Ah ok sorry, I thought it was a term some women used. I was thinking of ‘Cougar Town’ etc

loveteandcake · 20/10/2025 23:27

Go for it, life is too short

harveythehorse · 20/10/2025 23:25

DurinsBane · 20/10/2025 23:21

He has heard the rumours about cougars

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This is such an awful way to talk about a woman. You know it stemmed as a way to bash women???

Obimumkinobi · 20/10/2025 23:22

OptiMumm · 20/10/2025 23:13

Don't then.

How would you feel if a man you were dating was too embarrassed to tell anyone?

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This. If you are going to live in perpetual embarassment at the thought of people knowing about you, then this is clearly not for you. It's a shame you're so bothered but you feel how you feel.

DurinsBane · 20/10/2025 23:21

Cougarintown · 20/10/2025 22:46

Shit, sorry. I'm 42.

He has heard the rumours about cougars

Rainbowqueeen · 20/10/2025 23:19

I'd say no. If you are embarrassed already before anything has happened it will taint the whole relationship.

I also considered what I would say if you were the 28 year old and he was 42. I would also say no then.

Tink3rbell30 · 20/10/2025 23:18

God no. Don't shit where you eat.

harveythehorse · 20/10/2025 23:14

If you like him and you have no concerns about workplace awkwardness then go for it.

OptiMumm · 20/10/2025 23:13

Cougarintown · 20/10/2025 22:50

I do sort of want to. He's hot and I'm flattered. But I'd be so embarrassed if anyone knew!

Don't then.

How would you feel if a man you were dating was too embarrassed to tell anyone?

Dartmoorcheffy · 20/10/2025 23:10

DP was 32 and I was 45 when we got together. 12 years ago and still going great.

Missj25 · 20/10/2025 23:09

Missj25 · 20/10/2025 22:57

How would she have kids near his age 🙄
He’s 28 not 18 , & OP is 42

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Sorry poppyseed79 , i should have done the math before I posted 🫣

Poppyseeds79 · 20/10/2025 23:08

Missj25 · 20/10/2025 23:06

Agreed , but we’re after establishing that’s not applicable to OP

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Indeed! That's why I originally asked the question 😁 Anyways... Go for it if you fancy him OP. Why not?