To think a lot of midwives are.. just not very good?

I agree with one or two aspects.

But you need to define vocation. It's only ever traditionally women's roles (or religious) that have been deemed "a vocation ", ie nurses and midwives. Oh yes, and traditionally underpaid.

Never heard a gastroenterologist requirement being a "vocation ".

I had amazing experiences either my midwives. Caring, compassionate, supportive and encouraging. I honestly couldn’t fault them. Shame to see so many being slagged off here. No other profession gets the same stick as midwifery. What a shame.

“Well, childbirth is painful so…”

Lol, it is though so…

My first birth, I would agree with you.
My third, i would disagree with you.
(Second was at home delivered via paramedics so..😅)

I had a planned c-section and the night of the birth I felt a gush of blood and called the midwife. The way she manhandled me was SO rough shoving me onto my side not even 6 hours after the operation. She showed no mercy at all. I wasn’t producing colostrum either so had to ask for formula and she gave a disgusted look and asked me how much and was so unhelpful when I said I didn’t know, it was my first baby. It felt like she didn’t know what she was doing.
Other midwives showed kindness and were helpful but some awful ones slip through but it must be because they’re so understaffed.

I studied to be a midwife for a couple of years but dropped out for many different reasons.
I really agree with your post OP. Although I had a good midwife for the some of the birth of my baby, it was clear a lot of midwives were kind of over it? For example quite a few of them seemed to have little to no empathy, one said “well, childbirth is painful so..” just so helpful. Others just seemed a bit disinterested would be the word? Just like, they’d rather be chatting.
the students are always the best parts as they’re happy to be there and trying to help as much as poss.
when I was training, some midwives weren’t the kindest about the women. Not really bad but just like, bit rude.
having said that, some midwives were lovely! I suppose it’s the same in all professions but I think one often thinks that all midwives will be really kind and it’s just not the case.

Sadly I agree. A lot of them seemed to have an attitude that patients were an inconvenience and a nuisance. I'm a medic and we would never get away with the attitude some of them showed, rolling their eyes etc. I had a couple who were a credit to the profession and worth their weight in gold.

I agree, I have one daughter and the care I received was appalling. Post natal care was amazing. But during the birth the midwives were rubbish, every single one of them. I was sent from one hospital to another, then back again for an emergency c section. They got so much wrong and I was given counselling after complaining and meeting with the head of midwifery.
Ofcourse there’ll be different experiences but I think the care in the NHS in general just isn’t good.

They need to record the fact that you’ve passed urine and how much, I can’t remember why.

No, they can’t offer an arm whilst you have a wee because they’re probably looking after 10+ other patients, filling in endless reams of notes and documentation, haven’t had a wee themselves or anything to eat or drink or a sit down for the past eight hours.

It’s not ideal but this is the state of the NHS unfortunately.

There is a very poor culture in midwifery units in hospitals. This is evident from various research and the different inquiries. My personal experience was that almost every midwife I encountered with both my children was that they seemed aloof and generally uncaring/not that bothered! Leaves you questioning why they went into the profession

Perhaps you’re one of the handful of midwives, including myself, who is decent, hardworking and empathetic.

I didn't see the point in the community midwife, for either of mine. Maybe if there was more to it physiologically or socially, I'm sure they do more than just check heart beat, obs and bump size. Surely?

In hospital have no.1 she was excellent and actively involved with the birth. She wasn't "nice" but she was everything I needed and guided me through it before, during and after.

In hospital having no.2 the midwives just wandered round my room a bit, clearly thinking I knew what I was going lol. As soon as something changed on the CTG they didn't leave my side and ultimately escalated to the Drs. Dr manually extended me to 10cm (literally pushed my cervix out of the way ha) then handed back to the midwife. Until they had to hand back to Dr for assisted birth.

Prior to my second, the midwife I ended up seeing semi regularly for reduced movements was awesome. As was the day assessment unit.

Those who enjoy exercising power over others in unhealthy ways are often attracted to certain jobs - police, teaching, medicine. It would be great if there was some way to psychologically screen out the unfit.

I feel sort of torn about this my best friend is a midwife and one of the most amazing, loveliest people I know, and they really get so much hassle. Aggressive partners insisting they need to do something for the labouring woman’s pain (spoiler alert, it hurts and they don’t call if labour for no reason). People from certain cultures treating them as servants because they can’t possibly change a nappy. Birth partners telling them to go ahead and piss the bed, that’s what the pads are for (they’re not).

But I think the worst (and obviously this doesn’t apply to everyone) is all these women insisting they know their own baby/body and mothers know best and then when they aren’t in active labour, or a cord being wrapped around a baby’s neck isn’t fatal (they don’t need their throat to breathe yet, they’re not born) means that they get a lot of abuse and a lot of women insisting they need to be listened to and take priority over every one else, immediately. And I think it created a “boy who cried wolf” mentality for a lot of them.

My community midwife was amazing- I was able to have the same one with both DDs and she was incredible- I actually bumped into her in the antenatal ward whilst I was waiting to be induced with my second and I was in a bit of state as was a lot of waiting and lack of information, and she was so reassuring gave me big hug, explained exactly what was going on and even called me the next day to see how I was and to check if I had any questions. She came to house to sign us off and was unbelievably kind.

in hospital it was more of a mix so I do understand your point. There were some amazing ones and some not so amazing! But I suppose it’s the same as most professions- you are going to go those who are are passionate and love what they do and are great at their job and some that are none of these things!!

Bad enough being vilified by the press and on social media. But even our colleagues are ready to slag us off. I hope people I know don’t think I’m arrogant, a bitch and one of the nastiest people alive. I work my arse off and have had to go part time because the job is physically & mentally so demanding. My only desire really is to do a good job and leave women feeling cared about and cared for. If I didn’t want to leave the profession already, I do now, having read the comments on this thread

I gave birth prematurely and had a major infection I was left on the ward bed with no help I was very unwell . My friend went to grab the midwife and she shouted “I CANT MANAGE 16 PATIENTS ON MY OWN!! I CANT DO IT !” I felt so sorry for her but worried for myself
Luckily, I saw a  community midwife who was passing on her way to an appointment from a gp surgery who didn’t even work in the hospital who took pity on me , it’s lucky she was there  and demanded doctors come down -  my daughter needed resuscitating three times, she was 2 months early and I was delirious by that time , there was green stuff literally coming out of me , it was horrible .  nobody to do an epidural
 put a trolley in the corridor for two days and two nights whilst I was hallucinating on an antibiotic drip, with lights on day and night  and the family of other visitors making a lot of noise so I couldn’t even sleep , daughter in NICU -ended up saying I was going to harm myself before anyone took notice . Maternity
 Care definitely needs improving

I’ve encountered probably one good’un in my time.
With two of my pregnancies, the community midwives were adamant on trying to get me to have a home birth. I didn’t want one and the subsequent appointments were about persuading me otherwise- no thanks.
Last pregnancy there weren’t even any midwife appointments apart from the booking in one and the routine scans. Suited me fine tbh. The midwife I had dealing with me whilst in labour kept going on about ‘I want this, I want you to have that, I don’t want you to want any pain relief, natural birth only me me me’ and that’s what I got because I really did have no say whatsoever.
Absolutely horrid treatment from midwives with my first baby. I’m not even going there.

What I’ve found is in my local trust, it’s all about dissuading mums from going into hospital for as long as possible as they don’t have enough room, and also you’re then past the point of being able to have any pain relief, as they don’t have the staff or the time. This has been true for ALL my births, over quite a long time period.

Agree with you. What annoys me the most is when a woman says they want to push and are told ‘no you don’t ‘.
I’ve seen a lot of births (around 70)

Horrible indeed.

Some must be outstanding though…

Well that’s what I’m on about, the old system of training, before these degrees came in, was majority ward based. Nothing beats actual hands on learning in my opinion.

Wow - there’s clearly a real problem somewhere. I hope someone will take notice and try to change this culture.

I’d forgotten, until NiftyPrawn posted, that whole thing about making new mothers in extreme pain for one reason or another get themselves to the loo. That case is extreme (sympathy, Nifty) but even for those of us just with stitches or post epidural, would it bloody well kill them just to offer an arm to lean on to get to the loo for the first day or so? It’s not for your own good - it’s borderline bullying.

My first midwife was an angel. My second one (when 1sts shift ended) was a vile cretin. Same with any job. I think you'll find horrible, lazy people in most jobs.

My first birth was awful, the midwife refused to believe I was in labour but fortunately my waters had broken so she couldn't send me home. She sent my DH home in the middle of the night, only to call him back almost immediately when it was obvious the birth was imminent.
I had my next two babies at home, with very experienced and competent community midwives, much better experiences. There was also a student present at the first of these births and she was properly supervised to deliver my DS herself.
I did chose to have the last in hospital because she was obviously very large, and again it was fine. The midwife in charge of the unit was actually the same one who had delivered my second child at home and she clearly had a good grip on her staff and her job.
I honestly think it is the luck of the draw, some women are experienced, empathetic and good midwives, others simply are not. Some don't have the temperament for the job.

Two births here. Both times midwives were absolutely fecking useless. Second labour was worse. Waters went, contractions didn’t start so after 24 hrs they induced me (despite my birth plan requesting we go to elected section after an emergency with my first. Did not want to be induced under any circumstances). Laboured and laboured for what felt like a lifetime. Ended up with epidural - could feel the catheter but was told I couldn’t possibly. Contractions were back to back and I wasn’t coping at all but they basically looked down at me as though I was a drama queen. Made me feel like a failure. Begged for the section, put me off for hours only to open me up and find baby was stuck and, in the surgeons words, “yeah, no way she was birthing this baby vaginally”. They were patronising and aggressive and I felt the least cared for in my life.