To think a lot of midwives are.. just not very good?

As a HCP, I think it is 100% misogyny, there seems to be a prevalent belief that pregnant women deserve and should expect to suffer because they “got themselves” pregnant, and that women should expect and tolerate pain and discomfort (gynaecology) when it’s not necessary.

I work in cardiology and despite using local anaesthetic and pain relief we also offer sedation to patients for fairly minimally invasive quick procedures, just because they are anxious. The threshold for offering women pain relief or sedation is unreasonably high when it comes to gynae and obstetrics, and women have their pain mocked and downplayed very frequently.

I’ve had numerous gynaecology procedures performed with zero anaesthetic or sedation offered, when I was in so much pain I was shaking and sweating I was told “that’s odd, most women only feel mild discomfort”, while they’re burning parts of my cervix off with no anaesthetic.

I have come to the conclusion that there is widespread belief that having a vagina means you should expect to experience pain and discomfort to a level that no other patient would, and that it’s completely unreasonable to think that anyone would care or be willing to do anything to minimise your pain if it involves your vagina or womb.

I have quite a few hospital admissions and apart from the horrific way I was treated during childbirth I have found the majority of staff to be wonderful. I had exceptional care while having a termination and again when having miscarriages. I also had an emergency admission for a serious illness and again the care was excellent. Nobody stood my bed sneering and making horrible comments when I was in terrible pain.In fact they were empathetic and helpful. Why does midwifery seem to be so different? One of my friends was a midwife and opted to have both her children at home because of the way she had seen women treated in hospital

Well said
We absolutely should speak out
And staff witnessing poor care from other staff members should report
It's part of nmc code

We had a midwife struck off in derry. Mainly for her attitude to women. She was well known .. had been going on for 40 years and of course... no one spoke up... thankfully someone was brave enough to do so... and it started the ball rollin
The amount of women who came forward after that
Please, women complain about poor experiences.

I complained about my midwife and got a very wishy washy letter from the letter saying that my letter was "very sad reading" but this was before the days of debriefs and all they said was all the staff had done their best to care for me. I had help from an organsation to do the complaint (pre PALS and I can't remember what it was called) and while they wre helping me they did tell me that the hospital had recieved a number of complaints about this specific midwife and they wanted my complaint to procede with action against her. Years later I worked with a woman who was an ex midwife and I asked her if she had worked with this person. She told me that there had been complaints and that she had been sacked. For balance my community midwifes were very good, respectful and supportive and my health visitor was great too.

Disagree
And I've been a nurse for over 20 years.
Bad behaviour and poor practice needs addressed its part of our code of conduct.
Poor employees need performance managed and put on a pip.
Duty of care and duty of candour.

Being quiet and not speaking up has lead to morecambe bay, Shropshire to name a few.

There has been poor learning from the nadine Montgomery case back in 2000

I would strongly urge any woman who is unhappy with the care they received throughout pregnancy or labour and delivery to request their maternity records. See individual trust's websites for details on how to do this. It will give more backbone to a complaint, with details of dates, times, staff names etc and help piece together the events which are often difficult to recall under the circumstances.

www.nct.org.uk/information/labour-birth/recovery-birth/how-get-access-your-maternity-notes-after-birth

I think it’s important to have someone with you if you can that has your back for you. They are all understaffed. My first was ok the doctor sewed me up. Second was not great (I kept saying he was coming and they said no he’s not and he literally fell out of me onto the floor as I was trying to get on the bed). My third was almost standing outside in the corridor. They sent me down to Costa to get rid of me when I was obviously in labour. My water broke there which was humiliating. Then I waited panting outside the room where the midwives were having tea until they found me a room and he came within 5 mins of me getting on the bed. Then the new student midwife cut the cord in the wrong place and they was blood everywhere (like a fountain). Then she sewed me up with other midwife watching (I was a bit out of it and wasn’t asked to be a training doll) she sewed me weirdly and I’m still not right 14 years later. Kids are all ok thankfully (the one that hit the floor with his head is at Oxford now).

If the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t wear it. You’re on a parenting website. Populated mostly by mothers. On a thread specifically about shitty experiences with midwives. Would common sense not dictate it will be a beacon for others to share their similar stories and experiences?
And you won’t be on the news or sued if you’re doing your job as normal, as you say you do, will you 🙄

2 out of 3 of mine were resuscitated at birth. It's really no big deal. The other was looking up at me screaming with only her head born when they peeled off the caul. ( Facing upwards)

I can understand feeling under attack when the profession you have trained for is largely denigrated...but it is not without reason. It's probably fair to feel offended, but I think you should try not to, and, instead, actively listen to the stories to either reinforce (what I hope is) the good care you give, or give you insight into what could be improved.

There is a also a massive institutionalization problem within the medical profession as a whole, where they live in the bubble of a hospital and don't stop to think that what they see as "normal" or "well tolerated" is not what any sane person in any other walk of life would feel. THAT, I think, is the biggest problem.

And if you think people aren't going to understand the terminology you're using, such as resus, in your example, then say the technical term and then explain in Plain English what that means.

You’re welcome. I’m currently reading the newborn life support book from the resuscitation council for training for work. The amount of babies needing help transitioning to life is I think if I remember right around 15% with inflation breaths, following just stimulation with a towel. Babies needing chest compressions is around 1 in 2000.
most of the time they just need a little bit of reminding that they are needing to dispel the fluid from their lungs and they can now breathe for themselves! My beautiful boy included 😊

I find this really interesting. Both my babies needed resuscitating. I also had quite a bit of blood loss with my first. I had no idea these things were so common. Thank you for sharing.

First birth I was in hospital, 40+15, the midwife with me for actual labour was brusque and dismissive and wouldn't believe me that I was in active labour and feeling the urge to push. She shouted at me for dropping something, I can't even remember what, and I thought she was an idiot.

Second birth at home, two wonderful (older) midwives who I adored so much, if they could be cloned every woman would have a good birth and feel safe and respected.

Third birth at home, first midwife (older) was wonderful, student midwife was lovely but I think I traumatised her, two very young midwives for some reason arrived half an hour before I delivered and I hated them both. One's first words to me were "stop shouting" and I looked at my husband and said "tell her to shut up or fuck off" which was likely a bit rude but hey ho.

Sadly that probably comes from higher up due to budget restrictions.

When I worked on the labour ward we were supposedly banned (after years of doing it) of providing toast to the partners. I get it, they're not a patient, etc. But if a baby has been born at 4am and they've been awake and supporting their partner I was offering toast. Our maternity unit was a good 15 min walk from the hospital canteen which had very limited opening hours so not easy for them to get food elsewhere..

The amount of times I was "caught" by the ward manager walking towards a room with a plate with 4 slices of toast and she'd properly shout at me! Ask if I was making toast for the partner. I'd always deny it and say my woman was just starving!

One of mine was born at 31+4 so they probably wouldn't have coped either with mine....thank goodness for NICU staff. They were superheroes. Brilliant with helping for the five weeks my youngest was in NICU. I do remember one midwife coming up to see him hours after the CS once he was all settled in the incubator so midwives do go out of their way to check even when finishing their own shift.

I imagine in a lot of cases madwives do become desensitised to the job itself and forget the fundamentals of caring and why they came into the profession in the first place.

I have had four DC. First was slow to progress labour...born eventually with the drip running at maximum. 3rd degree tear. So needed a spinal to repair that tear....

Then second birth needed gas & air and pethidine. Midwife seemed indifferent about it all. Just another woman giving birth on a shift. That's all I was.

Third was fast. Got to the ward in time to give birth ten minutes later. They were about to check my blood pressure when the midwife joked too late for all that. Then started to get the pack ready for the birth..oh look another second degree tear🙄

Fourth birth placental abruption. Midwife was calm and got me prepped for theatre after initial observations showed bleeding wasn't for slowing down..Young but professional and didn't seem particularly compassionate from memory. She did what she had to do. Just another difficult case. I still appreciated the care I did get. NICU were fantastic. Mixture of nurses and midwives caring for those families. All doing an absolutely amazing job.

I have a friend who retrained to be a midwife. She said the midwives on her ward in Cardiff do petty things like limit how much butter the ladies can spread in their toast (half a wee packet) for post delivery tea and toast. I found that so shocking- if they are limiting the butter to be petty to a poor soul who has just pushed out a baby, imagine how kind they are with the rest of their care

I’m sorry, I’m sure this has been said but as an NHS midwife myself, I am offended. We do so much more than obs. We are ensuring that during your labour, it is going the way it should be. We are responsible personally for TWO patients. I’m sorry your experience was not nice, and I appreciate there are some out there that could do with a little more compassion training(!) but the vast majority are on YOUR side.

also, to most of the comments, midwives aren’t mind readers. We go by what is in front of us. For example, if you are 2cm the likelihood is you aren’t having a baby anytime soon. Yes, things can change. People have quick labours, but it doesn’t often happen. They cannot get it right everytime.

Recently the media, the news, everyone has been so anti midwives and it feels like a witch hunt that it genuinely makes me not want to work. Everyday I do my best but a lot of people go home thinking did I do enough? Am I going to end up on ITV news because someone wasn’t happy with their care? Am I going to be sued?

also, as awful as it sounds, a lot of it is due to not being educated around midwifery and birth. What we see as ‘normal’ everyday, patients see as nearly dying. For example, a baby needing resus isnt (for the most part) resus. Its inflation breaths to help the transition into life and very common. They are very rarely in cardiac distress, but respiratory. People hear resus and think chest compressions but most of the time that’s not the case. Similarly to blood loss, people can and do lose a lot of blood - it is managed quickly and for the most part even a 1L loss is ‘normal’ and very rarely life threatening. Despite what you hear in the media.

My experience was, with a 35 weeker on the postnatal ward, that a lot of the midwives didn't know how to support with feeding (breast or otherwise) with a baby who was difficult to feed. They seemed fine with support to the mums of full time babies but avoided me and when they did give advice, I discovered afterwards that a lot of it was incorrect for a baby that early.

Wow. That's very concerning.

Although I will give the sister on the postnatal ward an honourable mention. When she came on shift and realised I’d been in a bay with 7 other women who had their babies with them and mine was in ICU she went mad and that side room magically appeared for me.

The HCAs were also amazing and got me a card when I was finally reunited with my baby.

My personal experience is that when you are in labour they can’t do enough for you but before and after birth they come across like they don’t give a toss.

Literally the only positive experience I had with the midwives was while I was in labour because I couldn’t be dismissed.

Wow, so her experience is invalid?
Bore off? Are we a 65 man on a local Facebook page?
Such a sad response.

My community one is rubbish, very old fashioned and was on holiday for half my appointments for both babies, as she’s semi retired. However the midwives in the hospital for my first baby were fantastic. We had two young woman for first half, and then after a shift change, a more ‘mumsy’ one for actual birth who was FANTASTIC. Told the doctor off for suggesting a episiotomy, coached hubby really well, was firm enough with me once I hit the ring of fire to get through it 😂 however I do think we got lucky, as once we were on the ward, the midwives there were awful. Told my husband off for lying on the floor with a blanket (it was 2am and we were in the end cubicle with no chair), both talking loudly during the whole night, lady next to me was crying for ages and they didn’t go in and check on her, amongst other things, so defo seems luck of the draw!

I had two births and if it was them alone being at the birth both me and the babies would have died they were clueless and useless in my opinion no more than a glorified care assistants like in a care home they know nothing .