AIBU to try to steer my DS into a well paid career against his dreams

Just stop it. He needs to follow his dream, not yours.

Its his life, and ultimately he will be the one to live the consequences of his actions, not you. He is old enough to understand his choices, please let him make them. Otherwise the impact could be driving a wedge between you and him, he could feel 'my mum thinks I'm not good enough' which would be more harmful than missing an internship - although I'm not convinced that is harmful at all. He will remember doing the fringe for ever. Early 20's is the time to make memories, travel, explore etc. He has 45 years of work ahead of him, there is no rush.

Your DS is young enough to try for the career he wants, learn lots, and then (if he chooses) transfer into a different sphere in his mid twenties.
Small example: I know a barrister, now successful, who started off as an actor.
So much can happen and change in your twenties.
As long as his academics are good and he works hard, let your DS follow his heart.

Send him to the Fringe! He's not choosing that for a lifetime/career just for a summer ... Youth is for the young, even if it's wasted on them. :)

If he can't explore and grow now, when can he? It's much easier to do these things as a young'un than later when the committments feel set in stone and the financial consequences are harsh.

There are contacts to be made everywhere and 'non academic' experiences teach life skills and make a CV pop.

(and for your conventional heart: nothing makes work-a-day life pop like scrounging on a couch; I'll bet part of why you value your comfortable position is that you skivvied long and hard - as I did, so I know that those few chances at 'frivolity' are great memories.)

Will he not just do what he wants anyway? There isn't a chance in hell I'd have been pushed into anything at that age, particularly by my parents.
Let him live his own life. He's got time to change his mind multiple times if he wants.

I’m also from a similar background to you and I haven’t done as well as you and your wife.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. You are doing your best to pass on all the social, cultural and financial capital that you have accumulated and which had served you well. You are doing what all middle class people would do for their children and that is by guiding him towards something that is entirely within his grasp if he applies himself.

If he’s really passionate about it, he’ll simply disregard your advice and so I would support whatever decision he makes but be ready to swoop in and guide him if he fails and wants to do something more tangible with his life.

You need to get back in your lane. You chose your path and your son should choose his. He should live his life for his happiness, not yours.

Oh please leave him alone. I have an “arts” degree that people might look on with disgust these days. I pursued my dreams and have loved every minute. Because I’ve given it my all and wanted it, I’ve got myself into a very well paid position.
Stop what you’re doing and let your son live his life. Don’t make him miserable

He is going to be working until he's 70 just let him be. Plenty of time to change career paths as he gets older. I'd let him follow his dreams, spend his 20's doing the things he loves. The rest will follow in time. Being pushed into a career that you don't want whilst not living life to the full can feel incredibly dull.

It's his life. Let him live it.

Support him in his theatre ambitions - as long as he focuses on his studies just now and does as well as he can in his degree.

Acting/directing in fringe theatre is a fantastic experience and brilliant learning opportunity which he won't be able to access once he's in the corporate world. If the theatre world turns out not to be for him, he'll have his degree plus excellent transferable skills. Lots of corporates prefer taking on interns or analyst program employees who have a bit of life experience and who have had the confidence to try different things in their early career.

If you feel evil, perhaps it’s because you are. Maybe reflect on that, and support your ds and acknowledge what makes him happy.

If you can’t piss around trying to get a show to fringe when you’re 20, when can you?

1. University is pointless if you’re not going to allow growth and change.
2. Theatre/performing arts are a hugely financially valuable sector in the UK.
3. He wants to direct - that means leadership, organising, running a budget, making stuff happen from nothing, marketing etc etc. Infinitely better development than some dull internship.