AIBU to try to steer my DS into a well paid career against his dreams

I wouldn’t want my son going into theatre. He is likely to end up at worst broke and at best a drama teacher. Which is fine if that’s all he can be but you said he is really bright and academic he could do so much more. people will hate what I have said but I don’t care it’s the internet and you can be anonymous and honest!

I myself wouldn't support such a career in the arts. But there are many other things outside banking/finance/consulting

If you push him down that route and he goes then I imagine you will end up with a very unhappy child. Doing the long hours those job require when you hate it is even worse.
If as you say people who go down the path he wants to change careers after 10 years then I see no problem. If he decides at 30 he wants to retrain then it isn't too late. Let him choose his path and support him.

If you push him down that route and he goes then I imagine you will end up with a very unhappy child. Doing the long hours those job require when you hate it is even worse.
If as you say people who go down the path he wants to change careers after 10 years then I see no problem. If he decides at 30 he wants to retrain then it isn't too late. Let him choose his path and support him.

If you push him down that route and he goes then I imagine you will end up with a very unhappy child. Doing the long hours those job require when you hate it is even worse.
If as you say people who go down the path he wants to change careers after 10 years then I see no problem. If he decides at 30 he wants to retrain then it isn't too late. Let him choose his path and support him.

If you push him down that route and he goes then I imagine you will end up with a very unhappy child. Doing the long hours those job require when you hate it is even worse.
If as you say people who go down the path he wants to change careers after 10 years then I see no problem. If he decides at 30 he wants to retrain then it isn't too late. Let him choose his path and support him.

If you push him down that route and he goes then I imagine you will end up with a very unhappy child. Doing the long hours those job require when you hate it is even worse.
If as you say people who go down the path he wants to change careers after 10 years then I see no problem. If he decides at 30 he wants to retrain then it isn't too late. Let him choose his path and support him.

If you push him down that route and he goes then I imagine you will end up with a very unhappy child. Doing the long hours those job require when you hate it is even worse.
If as you say people who go down the path he wants to change careers after 10 years then I see no problem. If he decides at 30 he wants to retrain then it isn't too late. Let him choose his path and support him.

So why do you want this life for your son?

Help him find a middle ground. Some people will never be happy unless they are in the arts, some people like arts but will be happy either way. He may do a more traditional uni and then go for the arts, etc. As long as he is emotionally stable, he will be able to survive anywhere.

I’m in my 40s now in a corporate banking job that sucks every milligram of joy and clashes with my values on a daily basis.

I was desperate to pursue theatre as a teen and was blocked by my parents as it wouldn’t make me a decent living. I’ve got past it mostly as the money I earn has allowed me to indulge another dream that wouldn’t have been possible on a lower income but you can bet your arse I won’t be telling my DD what she can and can’t do for a career.

Nobody gets to old age and wishes they went into consultancy or banking.

I think you need an even firmer head shake. It's not about you 'letting him' and especially not about letting him with conditions about how hard he works. Nor should it ever be about 'making him' work in a pub. He's an adult now, making adult decisions about what his working life is hopefully going to look like.
Obviously you have agency too in how you actively support those choices, especially financially, but if you try to treat him like a child when it comes to managing his life then you're never going to have a decent adult to adult relationship with him.

The creative industries generated £126bn in gross value added to the economy and employed 2.4 million people in 2022. Thats ten times as much as the legal industry.

My cousin wanted to work in the theatre, his parents thought that was a bad idea because he'd never get a job and so he did science at a RG university. But he hated it and wasn't motivated and dropped out after a year and changed to a degree related to the theatre at a less prestigious university. He has never been out of work and has travelled round the world with his work, he is at the top of his profession.

I'm a scientist so am never going to diss that but I also know the arts is a massive industry and there are lots of well paid jobs behind the scenes. Wish him well with his summer at the Fringe, at that age I worked at a summer camp in the US and had a fabulous time. It doesn't matter if he does an internship, if he's working and having an adventure that will benefit him when he looks for a job as a young graduate.

Op as someone on a mw job now because I followed my passion I’ll say honestly you should steeer. You can’t force but I wish I’d kept going where I was headed and kept my creative sideline as that. 16yo is in the same conundrum and regularly says ‘maybe I’ll just do passion at the weekends but be able to afford nice things and go places too’. Loving what you do but spending your whole time hoping ‘this could be it’ is draining on your mh, especially when you’re trying to afford everything

Quite. And can you imagine being in a career for 10 years and then all of a sudden the young ones are coming up with brain chips.

Horrendous. What pressure to become a human cyborg.

I only have a 3 year old so not at the imminent panic stage of OP. But I am already thinking about this. Really I think we just need to support passions (so they have self worth when the non cyborgs are all on basic income). And absolutely shore up the finances for them in a protected way. Trusts perhaps. Doesn’t have to be given young but does take pressure off to know that you have money coming 40s/50s that he use a bit and can pass onto his children.

A lot of my successful corporate colleagues have hobbies in acting/theatre, so you’d be surprised at how it’s a skill that will well equip you in a corpora space where people act a certain way daily, encourage both gently I think

Why do you keep saying ‘let him’? It’s nothing to do with you what career path he chooses. You’re not ‘letting him’ do anything.

I’ve been in investment banking for 25 years. DH was a currency trader for 30 years. I’ve told both DC to steer well clear of it. We’ve made good money over the years but the job has changed beyond all recognition. If he can get a grad job in the first place (and there are far, far fewer of them these days), he’ll spend the first 10 years of his career building spreadsheets and/putting pitch decks together. It’s like Groundhog Day - for 60-70 hours a week. After 10 years, he might be allowed to attend a client meeting to take the notes. Every year, the bottom 10% of his cohort will be fired, there is absolutely zero job security and once you’re out of work, it can take a year to find another job. Lots of people never find another banking job once they’ve been made redundant.

He’ll be expected to work weekends, cancel holidays, if he has kids, he’ll miss every school nativity, sports day, parents evening etc because he’s working. He might be able to afford a nice house (but he’ll never see it in daylight) and a nice car (he’ll never have time to drive). It’s a bloody miserable existence - although I am hoping I’ll be able to retire by 55. I need to make sure I can because I’ll almost certainly be made redundant (again) by that age and I’ll be too old to be considered for another IB job at that age.

What will be more lucrative post ai? Probably not consulting

Or Industry?

What’s he studying at university?

I don’t think you can make him want to do those things. It can’t work if it’s forced. Talk to him about risk / reward etc but he has to make his own choices.

If he doesn’t give theatre a shot, he’s going to be regretful and resentful about it for the rest of his life. Will the regret and resentment plunge him into a life of misery? Probably not. Will there always be that twinge of sadness and some anger below the surface when he hears about young people trying to build theatre careers? Yes.