Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband being off with me for getting drunk is unfair - AIBU?

37 replies

Blosheen · 20/10/2025 18:13

Husband has a job where he gets called out last minute. Tbh it doesn’t bother me all that much. Sure, it can be disappointing but we do our best to plan things where there is certainly with his schedule. We are both late 20s.

Recently, we had plans to go out on Saturday night. Husband got called. We hadn’t bought tickets as there were plenty available. I decided to join friends for a night out(group of single girls). I had a fantastic night. Going out and getting drunk had lost its appeal but for whatever reason I really needed a proper girls night out. Anyway, came home in the very early hours. Husband was home. I made sure not to be inconsiderate so got undressed and to bed without too much noise as husband was asleep.

The next day I was nursing a hangover. So the Sunday was a bit of a write off. Husband was off work that day so I do feel bad about that.

Anyway, it was obvious my husband was a bit pissed off as he was acting a bit off. I asked him directly and he thinks I was in the wrong for getting in such a state that it impacted the Sunday. I mean it’s not ideal but I rarely go out and properly get wasted. I don’t see what I did as being terribly wrong. Just I’ll thought out.

Is my husband justified for looking down at me for my behaviour and seeing it as immature (how it feels). I’m a grown woman who pays her own way in life and therefore think I can sort of do as I please as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone.

OP posts:
ProfoundlyPeculiarAndWeird · 20/10/2025 18:21

Does he ever get so drunk that it affects what the family can do the next day? If so, he should tolerate what you have done. But if he never does that, I don't think it's unreasonable for him to be 'a bit off' with you.

Blosheen · 20/10/2025 18:21

If the roles had been reversed I would have been a little disappointed that Sunday involved husband nursing a hangover (I had a whopping headache) but I would accept it’s just one of those things that comes with the nature of being on different schedules. And leave it at that.

OP posts:
Ariel896 · 20/10/2025 18:21

I don’t understand why it matters if you were going to watch Netflix on the sofa and chill? Why can’t you be hungover for that? He sounds boring and controlling

GagMeWithASpoon · 20/10/2025 18:20

Is this the first time he got huffy/been off about you going out on your own/drinking?

Blosheen · 20/10/2025 18:19

tinyspiny · 20/10/2025 18:17

Does your husband ever go out and get ‘totally wasted ‘ ( your words ) ?

Not regularly at all. Mostly due to the nature of his job but it’s not like he’s never been blackout. Maybe gets drunk a couple of times a year

OP posts:
Fandango52 · 20/10/2025 18:19

Is this… a reverse?

Blosheen · 20/10/2025 18:18

rubyslippers · 20/10/2025 18:16

YANBU
Did you have any plans for Sunday?
letting your hair down and being with friends is totally reasonable

No we assumed we were going to have a late one on Saturday so the plan was to take it easy on Sunday and veg in the sofa/netflix.

OP posts:
didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 20/10/2025 18:18

Is he worried you were unfaithful on the night out?

DeadsoulsAngel · 20/10/2025 18:18

If you don’t have kids, and it sounds like you don’t, the go for it! Have a great time 🙂

tinyspiny · 20/10/2025 18:17

Does your husband ever go out and get ‘totally wasted ‘ ( your words ) ?

rubyslippers · 20/10/2025 18:16

YANBU
Did you have any plans for Sunday?
letting your hair down and being with friends is totally reasonable

Blosheen · 20/10/2025 18:14

I think husband could cut me some bloody slack and realise I’m actually very understanding of his job schedule and the disruption it comes with

OP posts: