NC as I’ve discussed things about her before. There’ll also be various triggering topics below.
i somehow feel an immense guilt writing this. I do believe she’s severely mentally ill and she’s had a very tough life but more recently I just feel myself not being able to tolerate her and I feel I might lose it on her (by this I mean really kick off and give her a piece of my mind, nothing physical obviously)
if she wasn’t my grandmother I’d think she was a disgusting human being (and I do now but won’t admit it). She says a lot of the way she acts is through love for her family what she sees as protecting.
examples;
she is incredibly racist towards certain (but not all) ethnic groups. She ostracises ethnic neighbours, will set prompts to make sure she can get to the door to glare at them during the school run, intimidates and insults given any opportunity. She treats shop workers as lesser if they are of certain ethnic groups.
she’s cruel to animals, regularly kills cats and birds that go in her garden with poison, she shoots at birds with my uncles airsoft BB gun type thing. she’s picked up dog mess from outside her house and rubbed it in the owners face (who was picking it up, but in her eyes she shouldn’t be doing it at all). Pours bleach over cats etc.
she’s homophobic and we have multiple gay people within the family, actively dislikes their partners and coins them as not being good enough the lace XYZ relatives boot. Makes no issue in pointing out she’s disappointed in them for being “queer”.
shes sexist and believes women have a place and so do men. She’ll actively hurl abuse at little boys who play with “girls toys” or “squeal” when playing near her bungalow. She will tell their parents to make them behave like proper boys and they should be ashamed. She doesn’t necessarily believe in ALL women’s rights and raises an eyebrow if mothers within the family leave their kids with their dads for a night out for example.
she has (and claims she would continue to do so) physically abused kids in her care. If they’ve been mean to one of her GC for example, she would slap them or not give them snacks but give them to the DC. She would make them feel bullied and excluded. All of this would happen after being the sweet caring GM inviting her DC friends around for a play date. She says she wanted them to feel as hurt as they’d made her GC feel.
We live in london, she is constantly comparing how many white people she’s saw to XYZ nationality. she has never worked and really excessively rages about “hand outs” foreigners are getting.
she doesn’t speak to a large portion of the family and has plotted the most evil things against her brother (who’s DC weren’t biologically his unbeknownst to him and she revealed the secret) she’s had his house smashed up and has said horrific things about her infertile sister and slept with her husband.
she is overbearing and over opinionated (obviously). On a personal level she is unbelievably over dramatic and protective of family, always plotting some sort of revenge on anyone we’ve had a run in with. Overly complimenting us always as if we are gods gift to earth and won’t have it said otherwise. I get this can be general biased grandparents but it’s to another level. She’s generally extremely difficult to be around.
of course on a family level she has some positives and I do think she’s sort of a victim of her own upbringing and/or mentally ill. But I really find myself not being able to tolerate her nastiness and evilness and I find it exhausting calling it out every single time. That said, she’s pushing 80 and her health is declining. Would you cut her off? Would you put up and shut up? Would you feel guilty if something happened to your GM and you’d cut her off? I don’t know what I’m gaining from this I suppose I’m just venting but what a mess.