Aibu to try and overturn my son’s permanent exclusion

As much as thats sad as Hell and I truly do sympathise, his reaction was still overly hostile, yes as he's experienced that too, but they can't risk other kid's safety because he needs help

Which is why I am wondering if this is the whole story.

Leaving an abusive partner, restarting life elsewhere, picking up the pieced as best she can?

Exactly
As I have said upthread we are there to check process etc. We Can ask School to reconsider (I have done this) but if its all been done properly we cannot overturn anything.
One thing I would also say is that the wellbeing of other pupils has to be considered. My DS was 6ft by age 15 and lifts weights, seeing him and someone else a similar size going at it would be pretty terrifying for the rest of the class.

I have a younger child who is sometimes violent at school, although for different reasons.

I know it’s hard to accept but I wouldn’t appeal the decision here. Looking at long term adult outcomes for your son, the PRU is going to be the best place for him to learn to manage that trigger response and to access counselling to enable him to take a different path from his father.

What I would do is begin speaking to both the pru and the school to negotiate the best possible outcome for your child, in exchange for not appealing. Pp has suggested dropping back a year which sounds sensible. I’d also try and push for therapy using the exclusion as evidence of need.

@Grapewrath if school haven't followed process governors will have no choice but to reinstate OP's child, no matter the level of violence. That's why schools need to ensure they follow the guidance

Respectfully, the school has an obligation to keep the children safe. Your son has shown himself to be violent and unpredictable- a lot of that is due to trauma but that isn’t the schools problem.
if he had given the child a dig, they might’ve let it go as it was retaliation but he punched him 4 times. That response was disproportionate and showed a lack of control.
From the schools perspective, if they reinstate your son and another child is hurt by him they’d be on very shaky ground. Also, even if they empathise with your sons experience, him having trauma is going to be of no comfort to the next child who gets a smack to he face. That child and their parent have no responsibility for your sons experience.
You can appeal but even a single act of violence can trigger a PEX so I don’t think you’d have too many grounds. It’s likely the governors won’t sacrifice the wellbeing of the children in the school for your son

If someone pulled a chair out from under your son making him hit his head on a wall, causing a lump on his head, how would you feel? Would you want the perpetrator punished ? Or what if your son was the chair puller, and caused injury to someone? What then.....

If my child was assaulted in this way and the school allowed the attacker to stay in school, I would go to the police. The school may have saved you this by excluding your child.

A violent outburst like this would have caused chaos in a year 11 classroom. I dare say created concern for member of staff as well as the other students. Potentially quite a frightening experience for the onlookers. Obviously we have only heard one side of the story and we don’t know it any other incidents. We don’t know what the member of staff wrote in the incident report. Normally both pupils will be punished but schools do not typically share that information - the other boy may well have a short term exclusion or a couple of days in the time out room.

@ThatRealBlueQuoter what's happening with DS's education at the moment?

Bollocks.

If one of my sons did the chair thing and the other kid had lashed out at them - a punch, kick, slap, whatever - yep, fuck around and find out.

Punching someone in the face FOUR TIMES is excessive and disproportionate. That's a total lack of self control, a dangerously extreme overreaction and a sustained attack. In a school.

It's sad what op's son has suffered but if you speak to any violent criminal, they often have a long sad history of an awful childhood and/or some kind of abuse they suffered.

Op's son absolutely deserved the expulsion and needs keeping away from other kids for their own safety.

If one of mine was attacked at school like this and I was told the school were fannying around with anger management for them i'd go fucking wild.

He has only been there since September and clearly things have not gone well. If you turn around the suspension I fear things will not improve until he goes off for ‘study leave’ in May. With such a low attendance in year 10 the outcomes are unlikely to improve as staff are heading towards the final sections of their courses and will struggle to plug his knowledge gaps whilst trying to meet the targets of all the other students. What has his attendance been like this term so far?

Year 11 will have mock exams at the end of December/ beginning of January. How will he cope if his grades are low in comparison to other kids? Will his attendance dip? Will he be disruptive in class if he is struggling?

I think you need to go into the meeting and insist that the PRU place is guaranteed and that he is not sat at home on a waiting list. PRUs because they are small and have more specialist provision tend to operate at capacity so a place is not a certainty. Having nothing in place would be the worse position @ThatRealBlueQuoter so you need to be clear with the headteacher.

Couldn’t disagree more. Any decent parent would tell their kid, you fucked around and found out. Hard lesson to learn.

I agree, do not sign the letter about the exclusion "not being on record". It is the school's record they are trying to keep it clear from, as Ofsted look at how many exclusions they have. They don't care about your son.

I reiterate do not sign anything

I think the governors will be examining the school’s process very carefully as on the face of it, the PEX decision doesn’t sound as if followed policy.

Do not sign.

Ok well good luck to you then. Not sure the law works like that so not sure how this boy will fare in the future, but good luck to his mum I guess!

@Lightuptheroom the decision to PEX must also be lawful

No, sorry, but as I've already said in earlier post, if my son had pulled a chair out from someone causing them to hit their head I'd have told him he got what he deserved. At their age they know that doing so could seriously hurt someone and I'd have no sympathy. Both boys deserve the same punishment in my view. And the bullying texts needs addressed too. They're not 5. They're both old enough to know better.

I think this would be part of schools concern. He shows no aggression or lead up to exploding then responds with violence then goes back to being calm.

Its actually one of the hardest types pupil to deal with.

Seems like the punch victim did only pull a chair out, but this apparently caused the puncher to hit his head - that won’t have been child 1s intention though will it? He didn’t know it was going to happen. But child 2 did know what was going to happen when he punched the other one in the face 4 times!

Child 1 is no doubt a bit of a nob as well, but there’s no way if you were child 1’s parents that you’d be OK with you child having being punched in the face - you wouldn’t say “well you kinda deserved it for pulling his chair out.”

It’s just bull shit all these excuses and passes that kids are given now - OPs son is violent, should’ve been excluded and needs help.