Aibu to try and overturn my son’s permanent exclusion

I feel for your son and kids having to go through hell like that,I really do,I also can understand why he reacted like that,but to punch the lad four times is a lot,I’m so sorry i can’t give advice more specific,but I hope everything turns out well for you all xxx

Make sure you ask whenever you don't understand anything so the form is likely about college and maybe uni records. It seems quite legitimate with the governors panel, so it doesn't seem like they are off-rolling but read everything. I'd ask them what specific records they are referring to? Ask them whether they mean LA and Ofsted records? If so don't sign, but they may have just misrepresented it to you, so double check and ask again for a through explanation.

Maybe ask the LA if there's any advocate like an independent advocate that can come with you. Even to just explain things but don't feel bad asking loads of questions, if you don't understand stop and ask them to explain it again.

Have you been able to go to the PRU and talk to the staff, look around? How many hours a day is it?

Will he still do all the GCSEs he's doing? Like if he's doing 10, will he still do all 10? Are they going to get him to sort of do Y10 again or start from the start of his GCSE courses due to the 47% attendance?

Make sure it has good mental health support? I can't recall from previous posts but has he started therapy or still waiting? What type of therapy is it if you know? Ask about any extra support he'll get specific to him, and everything on school structure etc. Hopefully this will be good for him to get more 1-1 support and less other students as well.

As I mentioned a few posts back (appreciate the thread is moving fast) I suspect the school want you to sign that agreement so THEY do not have a PEX on THEIR record, which is visible to Ofsted. I would not do them that favour, and I would not worry about your son's records.

OP - a friend of mine grew up with a horrendously violent dad who beat him, his mum, his sisters. It fucked him up for a fair while and badly affected his schooling. But I can tell you that despite all this, he has grown into a wonderful man. A real 'feel safe around him' character who dotes on his family. No useful advice on the schooling - but good luck for the future and well done on getting out ❤️

I don’t have any advice but I want to wish you and your son the best.
Please don’t down play the chair being pulled from under your son as a prank or a joke. MANY people have suffered serious injuries from falling backwards off a chair. It is not a joke or a prank, it is dangerous.
Having said that, I do think your sons reaction was extreme and he clearly and understandably needs help to manage his anger in case it escalates.
Your son sounds sorry whereas the other child does not. That speaks volumes to me.

There are a lot of ridiculous comments on here. Please ignore them.

<3

Well done on your new life OP. It’s very easy for us to say what we think about DS, but it sounds as though this might be the moment with support he can turn it around, if he remains in that frame of mind the PRU could really be a gamechanger.

In your shoes, I think I would appeal the school’s position so I knew I’d exhausted every eventuality. Be warned though, if they’ve got him punching the other lad on CCTV, they’ve likely already closed the case. It’s really, really hard for schools to PEX. Did they attempt a managed move for DS do you know? That might be a resort you could explore.

Of course she’s concerned about her son’s welfare. What a ridiculous comment. Looking at all the other comments the other child sounds like a bellend and a bit of a bully.

Can’t find out how to edit but my post should read such a lack of empathy AND understanding. And is not directed at the OP.

Basically you can put in the appeal whilst he attends the Pru, after the governors meeting BUT what outcome do you want? Appealing suggests that you want him to return to his original school ?

Oh sorry, my ‘fuck off’ was meant to be to the poster who immediately turned on you to ask what you were doing about his anger issues. I thought I’d quoted that post. I wasn’t saying that to you at all. I think you’re doing a grand job in very difficult circumstances.

I’m assuming this would be a second PEX if you’re saying he’ll go to a PRU. Otherwise it would be another mainstream school through in year fair access panel.

what was his first PEX for? This would be relevant.

Oh fuck off. Such a lack of empathy in my understanding.

Have you ever been in a fight? Have you ever punched anyone straight in the face, even once? This isn't the type of thing most people find easy to do, let alone four times - watching a face become increasingly damaged each time. It's the type of thing that might roll off the tongue but which takes a particular type of person to do.

Someone pulled a chair out from me once (over 15 years ago) and I can’t can tell you how embarrassed, shocked and hurt I was, I still think about why someone would do that to me occasionally! Wish I had punched her in the face 4 times. You can definitely appeal, I’m not sure you’ll win though. Don’t sign anything if you’re not happy with it, if you get offered a PRU in the meantime I would take it so he can continue his education.

I agree with other posts highlighting that schools are no longer allowed to convert fixed term exclusions to permanent. I sat on a panel whose exclusion was over-turned by a local authority panel solely on that basis. This case was a longer term pattern of behaviour, the head had issued another fixed term exclusion and then concluded actually this is the final straw, I can’t continue to put other pupils and staff at risk and changed it - but this was ruled by expert panel as not permitted.

I think a PRU may help him more than mainstream school.

Oh do me a favour! It was a practical question. The OP is asking is she BU to try to have an exclusion overturned. To overturn an exclusion you have to be able to demonstrate progress regarding the issue causing the exclusion. If her son has punched someone in the face four times and his anger issues are not being addressed there’s no point appealing the exclusion.

Stop being offended on other people’s behalf. The OP answered my question no problem, and I followed up with my advice/opinion.

A PRU may not be the worst place for your son if he has anger issues. They have trained professionals who are used to this behaviour.

While it sounds like your son has had a horrible time lately( and been deeply affected), the school were in the right. How would you feel if your son was punched four times in the head? If I was the other parent, I’d be pushing for a criminal record, regardless of reason. He could have seriously injured or killed the boy.