Aibu to try and overturn my son’s permanent exclusion

Are you one of the many families who’ve been moved from Birmingham to a nearby small city beginning with L?

If so, or actually even if not, you really can’t expect the rest of Year 10/11 to accept DS back & live in fear. However, we have a very good temporary provision who will work with him (and yourself) to get him ready to rejoin another local school.

I feel very sorry for everyone concerned. My own DD is this age, would I want her witnessing this behaviour - no. But also, your DS needs help as he’s had an awful start to life & is still just a child.

Many schools draw the line at violence and it can be an immediate PX if the act was violent enough. I’m not blaming your son for his reaction, but he would be too much of a risk if he returned to mainstream. In a PRU he’ll get the support he needs before he finishes Y11. Good luck. x

Yes that’s the way I’m thinking too.

Also, I may be a bit biased because of experiences with my son when he was about 8, but my blood boils at the sort of casually dangerous shit that the chair puller did. I can’t stand that sort of thing, something casual enough they can say I didn’t mean any harm bla bla, but actually really dangerous. My son had a ‘friend’ like that and he ended up getting seriously injured. Schools should come down hard on that as well, although I accept it doesn’t excuse the DS’s behaviour.

I really feel for your son, but punching someone in the face 4 times is such a massive risk. At 15 he is likely to be punching like a man and could have seriously injured the other pupil. I understand pulling a chair out from someone could injure them too (particularly from a headbang) but it has a very differdnt motivation and risk profile.

I'd say, personally, challenge it but potentially your son could be a lot more settled at the PRU - the class sizes are very small, the timetables more therapeutic. It's easy to see PRUs as an awful thing but they are the making of some children.

The exclusion is the right outcome because your son is out of control and a danger to others. He needs to understand this and learn to control himself. Stop making excuses for him.
Were the school to do otherwise it would be open to legal action and so would your boy.
The PRU will facilitate GCSE study. He needs to focus and take what support is on offer including anger management and making solid career plans.
If he refuses the chance he is being offered l wouldn’t hold out much hope for him. If he does have the sense to focus and accept responsibility for his violence he can prosper. He is lucky not to be facing criminal charges. Yes, he’s had a difficult time but he’s hardly starving in the ruins of Gaza and he has you, a person who truly loves him. I have taught many young men like him who have gone on to be successful despite, or maybe because of, the bumpy start. Make sure you both get all the help you are entitled to.

Probably nothing like when his dad was strangling him until he passed out and smashing his head off tables !

Similar. It might be better for him to have some kind of special educational provision for a whole and maybe get some therapy for the anger issues.

Just this. Even if your child is acting

• out of anger
• from a place of trauma
• without wishing to hurt

Oh absolutely agree with this! I just ran out of time to write more and was also conscious that the child is new to the school and area and waiting lists were likely to be longer than time left in school. However, as you say, PEx can definitely expedite support. Very tricky to know everything with limited info, considering how detailed and time consuming panel packs are!

To the person saying that young people only get sent to pru for a second exclusion... many local authorities use their alternative provision/pru to provide the statutory provision after the 6th day after the permanent exclusion. As another poster has explained the governors meeting now needs to take place. You should have been contacted by a member of the fair access team who will talk you through the process for this and will attend the meeting. If the school is an academy then you have to state you want the local authority to attend. Whilst they aren't an advocate they can ensure process is followed and can ask questions about the process the school has followed including what interventions the school have tried.

@newmumlovescakr we've managed to get extra help for students even when a PEX decision has had to be overturned due to process not being followed as it was obvious the young person needed extra support, it does seem to kickstart things. Quite often the student doesn't want to stay at the school after PEX decision is overturned.

It is so horrendous going through panel paperwork and you can see students have been on waiting lists for years for CAMHS etc even when risk of suicide, so a PEX can help leapfrog some of these waiting lists, going to a different setting etc

Exactly. I’d be furious if my child was injured and I discovered it had happened before. That doesn’t mean I’m not sorry for what OP and her son have been through

Firstly, well done on getting you and your children into a better situation.

Punching someone 4 times in the head is definitely grounds for exclusion where I’ve worked. It’s dangerous and violent behaviour regardless of the circumstance and not a proportionate response which could put students at risk of further incidences. Check the school’s behaviour policy though and make sure it relates to the reason the head has put on the exclusion letter.

Your posts sound like they have suspended him for 5 days and then permanently excluded him? Converting suspensions to exclusions is frowned upon unless there is significant evidence that has come to light since the suspension. You could question whether it is procedurally fair if they have converted.

He also sounds like he’s in year 11? Schools have to be extra water tight excluding a child close to taking GCSEs so go the meeting and question that.

All that being said, he sounds like he needs some help and a lot more support to deal with potential trauma. Permanent exclusions are often a way to get access to this help so can sometimes actually benefit the student/ family.

source: teacher, governor, chaired many exclusion panels

This may be true however the school provision isn’t working for him so the next PEX would only be a matter of time. The boy obviously needs therapeutic intervention to manage his trauma and without it, will continue these behaviours.
Op is better off with a PRU while they find somewhere appropriate

@ThatRealBlueQuoter at the moment you don't appeal the decision as such. It has to go through the panel process, whether you agree with the decision or not, as the panel need to make sure the school were right to make the decision. The panel (usually governors or Trustees if in a MAT) will decide firstly whether process has been followed. There are a number of people who have sat on panels on this thread who are concerned that the school has converted a suspension into a permanent exclusion which cannot happen unless substantial new evidence in respect of that incident has come to light. If they have converted a suspension into an exclusion without this new evidence, they have done an unlawful exclusion and it won't stand (no matter what the incident actually involved). Therefore, you won't need to appeal it, it just won't stand as it is unlawful. However, if the panel aren't asking these questions about the conversion, you can.

If the panel feel that it was okay to convert into an exclusion, then they will need to agree that it was reasonable based on the evidence before them, with respect to the incident, to implement a PEX. Doesn't mean that the panel would have instigated a PEX themselves but that they think it was reasonable and fair for the school to do so. Level of evidence is not based on criminal standards, so doesn't have to be beyond reasonable doubt, just needs to be reasonable.

If they decide school followed process and it was a reasonable decision to make, you can then appeal that if you want and you should be provided with details on how to do that.

Hi op,

I absolutely second that.
Your son needs an out of a situation that will only escaladate…the school was right to remove him for himself and all others. He needs loads of healing and talking through phases and time. This is the priority. I hope he learns from this.

That’s tough, but is this incident the only reason for the PEX? If so, that is VERY rare. A PEX requires a huge amount of paperwork, evidence etc from the school; literally pages of it. One incident where a student saw red wouldn’t be enough at my school, it would have to have been the final straw after months of negative behaviours. So either the school has very tough non-negotiables or your DS has been having issues and this is the last chance that he’s blown.
Actions do have consequences, so this is probably going to be a harsh lesson for your son, but hopefully one that he learns from.

@ShrimpyMcNeat and @Leadonmacduffs are right.

If you honestly believe your son is acting through trauma, then don't appeal the exclusion. He clearly needs more support than he's currently getting. Going back into a teen environment where he risks being triggered like that a second time is the last thing you should be pushing for. He may even be the target of provocation for someone looking for a fight and on top of everything else, he could be risking prosecution and a criminal record if his behaviour repeats.

That's a serious risk for him with life-changing consequences. I'm not clear why you are willing to be so reckless with his future, given that on your account he hasn't worked through his trauma and can evidently be provoked into extreme violence with nothing more than a prank.

He needs space to heal and GCSEs can wait. By all means try to get him a space in a unit or register as home educating while you help him navigate his recovery.

That is not correct - you can go to PRU after your first PEX - the original school and parent and LA would need to all agree to a managed move to a different mainstream school